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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 29th 2012 new

(Quote) David-820720 said: Hi Eileen, It has been said that water finds it's own level and like...
(Quote) David-820720 said:

Hi Eileen,

It has been said that water finds it's own level and like attracts like. We attract what we really are inside. Not well attracts not well and a relationship born in sickness cannont survive health. I see it in my office all the time. I also learned this the hard way and took 2 and a half years off relationships to get myself well.

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Hi David,

Those are truthful words and after reading your note twice, they are the story of his current life. Well put in that not well attracts the same
and it is just an endless circle of pain and emotional distress. The answers are there but he doesn't know how to ask the questions.

Thank you for your wonderful insight and I wish you success.

Eileen

Dec 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Tim-734178 said: Seems all confusing. Monastery anyone? I rarely agree with David, but I have to say with the way things se...
(Quote) Tim-734178 said: Seems all confusing. Monastery anyone? I rarely agree with David, but I have to say with the way things seem to be, becoming a monk is inticing.
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I guess the article has been posted a few more times since this original thread. WOW! I think Men and women need to mull these things over together. Maybe we should do this two by two. Two people who might love each other may have to honestly comb through these issues together. COULD IT HAPPEN? I think so!

NOONE has TO GO RUNNING TO THE MONASTERY. Just because things are screwed up in our SOCIETY does nto mean we have any vocation to a monastery...

It is good that thsi article is here to get Men and Women to communicate.

Many if not most or all of these issues are kind of festering away buried in our psyches. LETS BRING THEM OUT?

I hope and pray we all find someone we can truth fully hash (or talk)these things out with and get to a point of becoming a couple no matter what is going on out there in these articles or anywhere else.
Lets not give up!

I think we all still want to find that person with whome to become a couple.

Dec 3rd 2012 new

I do not believe in war. I believe in cooperation. I believe in good folks using their best God-given talents. ((By the way, I am horrified by the so-called Women's Lib movement. It seems to me that their number one agenda is abortion. Do they not realize that as many baby girls as baby boys get aborted. That is not at all liberating for the female gender. Furthermore, it makes women subject to the sexual preferences of men who have zero responsibility for their sexual behaviour. Liberating?? Indeed, no!! It does not liberate females; it reinforces women being seen more and more and more like chattel. Furthermore, I am old-fashioned; I see the matter and form of Marriage being sexual union, and sex belonging only in marriage.))

Dec 3rd 2012 new

John, Your mother sounds wonderful. I really enjoyed your post.

Dec 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Brian-252799 said: Men are GREAT,what more can I say? They stay cheerful,honest,and merry until their old and gr...
(Quote) Brian-252799 said:

Men are GREAT,what more can I say?
They stay cheerful,honest,and merry until their old and gray
A better friend is impossible to find
Thats why they call it MAN KIND
Ladies are jealous because they are not like us
Thats why they are always in a fuss
So,listen up guys,hold your head in pride
And be thankful your not like your bride

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Hilarious!!

Dec 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) David-820720 said: Hi Eileen, It has been said that water finds it's own level and like...
(Quote) David-820720 said:

Hi Eileen,

It has been said that water finds it's own level and like attracts like. We attract what we really are inside. Not well attracts not well and a relationship born in sickness cannont survive health. I see it in my office all the time. I also learned this the hard way and took 2 and a half years off relationships to get myself well.

--hide--


Hi, David. What did you do to get yourself? Live life normally or more reclusive, allow for quiet time and prayer, observe yourself, read self-help books? What do you think is good?

Dec 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: Hi, David. What did you do to get yourself? Live life normally or more reclusive, allo...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said:


Hi, David. What did you do to get yourself? Live life normally or more reclusive, allow for quiet time and prayer, observe yourself, read self-help books? What do you think is good?

--hide--



Hi Meg,


I try to maintain a balance in all that I do. I'm a person who really needs his alone time, but I do go out to meet people. I practice mindfulness, am a triathlete and marathoner, engage in lectio divina, go for long multi-day hikes, and the like. I work hard at what I do for an occupation and have gone down roads that my clients are currently making their way through. I enjoy my recovery and love my life.

Dec 4th 2012 new

Hurrah for you David. I liked how you ended your post. We all need to love ourselves more.

Dec 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Joan-684265 said: I do not believe in war. I believe in cooperation. I believe in good folks using ...
(Quote) Joan-684265 said:

I do not believe in war. I believe in cooperation. I believe in good folks using their best God-given talents. ((By the way, I am horrified by the so-called Women's Lib movement. It seems to me that their number one agenda is abortion. Do they not realize that as many baby girls as baby boys get aborted. That is not at all liberating for the female gender. Furthermore, it makes women subject to the sexual preferences of men who have zero responsibility for their sexual behaviour. Liberating?? Indeed, no!! It does not liberate females; it reinforces women being seen more and more and more like chattel. Furthermore, I am old-fashioned; I see the matter and form of Marriage being sexual union, and sex belonging only in marriage.))

--hide--


I agree that the Women's Liberation Movement has done much wrong. As I said in the other thread (now locked), there are 4 waves of Feminism that occurred. I do like much of what the first wave offered women (the Suffragettes fighting for women's right to vote) but somewhere by the third wave, "sexual freedom" and contraception, then leading to abortion, were the main motivations. I did read some Feminist studies as a university student. It's interesting that what women look for in the developing world (basic human dignity and the abililty to care for their families) is not what the Feminists look for the in the developed world (just about everything else, much of what is oppositional to men). Regarding abortion, actually MORE girls are killed than boys, as sex-selction is still practiced in many parts of the world. It's sadly ironic that the "right" some women have fought for has actually reduced the numbers of future women overall.


I said on the other thread that I thought the article to be very inflammatory, divisive and misogynous (even if written by a woman). The points she brought up are important to discuss in modern culture, but I have read much better analysis from others who present a more respectful approach to both genders. The problem is not only that "women are competing with men", but that men have not always fulfilled their roles causing women to be forced to take them. I have seen quite a few examples growing up where the wife and daughters were forced into taking responsibilities that the father seemed to lose interest in, for whatever reason. He was not fulfilling his role and therefore forced other family members to do so for him.


The author's approach looks at the problem rather one-sidedly and this does little to encourage co-operation between the genders or to solve the problem in the long run. It is a relevant complaint that needs to be addressed, but the author choses to blame women and stereotype them rather than realistically look at what is really going on. A commenter on the other thread mentioned that the devil definitely has his influence in this problem, and I do agree with that. The devil's approach is to divide and conquer, have both parties pointing fingers at one another. The better solution would be to acknowledge the wrongs committed by both genders and work together on resolving the problem.

Dec 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Daniele-678076 said: Great discussion topic! I do not believe that there is a “War on Men”, in my...
(Quote) Daniele-678076 said:

Great discussion topic!

I do not believe that there is a “War on Men”, in my opinion I think the author was only looking at the issue from a culturally conditioned perspective. I think there is a bigger issue which is the “War on humanity” by sin, someone mentioned that there is a war on family values and I think this is one of the many battles that make up this war on humanity. I think the article you highlighted fuels the “blame game” as men and women inevitably will point fingers at each other and hold each other responsible for events that shaped their career and family life. I don’t think this article does anything to taper the battle between the sexes which unfortunately still continues today.

As someone who has studied both Theology and Feminism and Masculinity courses in college, I am thankful that I studied theology before undertaking courses in feminism. I think this helped me to be more critical of feminism. Although, I do not consider myself a die-hard feminist, I do embrace some feminist ideals, for instance I do believe that some females are oppressed by patriarchal values on the basis of their sex. A case in point is, young girls in some countries are unable to access education because of their biological sex. On the hand, not all men are oppressive of women; there are some wonderful men that are excellent fathers, loving husbands and providers. Providers not only in the financial sense but, these men are spiritual leaders and can provide spiritual guidance to their families.

I think the feminist movement has tried to address the division between the sexes and so nowadays there is a lot of focus on gender equality and gender neutrality. However, I would not put my “lock, stock and barrel” on concepts like gender equality and gender neutrality because I think these are politically motivated and heavily influenced by interpretations from the media. An excellent article that speaks a little about this is “The Moral Natural Law: Problems and Prospects," by Father Wojciech Giertych who was theologian for the Pontifical Household. You can find this article at http://www.zenit.org. Giertrych writes that new concepts such as gender equality are replacing traditional concepts such as truth, perseverance and moral virtue. I think Giertrych was onto something

I placed my faith in the teachings of Church and the Gospel which I think surpasses the ideas acquired from my feminism and masculinity classes. I also try to look for the things that unite men and women, instead of the things that divide us. We are all striving to be holy, grow in virtue; we are all ONE BODY OF CHRIST!! me thinks

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Great post Daniele! (sorry I am only getting around to reading it now).


One more thing, already referred to by another poster: Ephesians 5 (especially 21 - 30). "Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord..." (21, Douay Rheims edition). "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it... (25, DR). There is a spirit of self-sacrifice advised to both men and women, in order to live truly by the church's teachings, and to be happy by it. This does not mean that we should not use the talents God gave us, either men or women. Sometimes the Lord also calls women to positions of leadership, as He has done with many women saints in history, but this does not mean that the woman is necessarly competing with the men (though SOME men may see it differently). Each of us has a different calling and it is up to us to faithfully discern that calling, with the influence of our spouses and family. As Cory, Elizabeth and others have already mentioned, what will will work for each family will vary depending on their circumstances, and there are many right answers to that question.

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