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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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02/23/2013 new

Well said, Rhonda

02/23/2013 new

(Quote) Noemi-900477 said: A reasonable person who is a "born again virgin" or has claimed a secondary...
(Quote) Noemi-900477 said:




A reasonable person who is a "born again virgin" or has claimed a secondary virginity will not go around claiming they are a virgin and that's it, lest they be lying; they will most likely explain the truth, if they are serious in what secondary virginity means. Secondary virginity shows a triumph over sin. Yes, of course it's better to not sin, as always, but there is something to appreciate about someone who was strong enough to turn away from a sin they once indulged in. The last thing secondary virginity is is a cop out. It shows strength, especially in the world of today that forces sexuality upon the majority of the population. Claiming secondary virginity is being honest with yourself. It's "secondary"--or "born again" or "reclaimed"--for a reason.

It's not easy to realize what you're doing is wrong and then make an effort to change it. Hopefully people that are claiming secondary virginity, in its true sense, are being honest with their past. But the goal is also to move forward with their future.

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Virginity is more about God's protection than it is our self control. Who knows what circumstances and relationships God has protected me from that would have caused me to fall. And its him that places the desire and grace for purity in the first place. I don't have much to boast about I only thankful for his grace and protection.

02/23/2013 new

Hi Renai! I haven't had a chance to go through the pages and pages of responses on this so I don't know how this discussion has evolved, but I will say that I definitely have a fear of "dying a virgin," as terrible as that sounds. I know, logically, that if I don't get married that's probably what's going to happen, but personally I really want to avoid that; I do feel called to marriage. And I don't think there's any shame in admitting a physical desire for sex, since we're hardwired for that. It's a good thing, a really good thing (I hear), and it's a part of the human experience I would personally hate to miss out on. But that's sort of the paradox, right? If you never meet the right person, you're stuck - at least, if you want to obey God, you have to accept that you'll live without.

Obviously most people don't want to live without, and that's because it's a hard road that most of us aren't called to... so that's why I think most of us are here - to find our spouse and subsequently fulfill our marital duties, including the physical ones. Right? :)

Just my rambling two cents!

(Quote) Renai-414828 said: For those who have always been celibate ie never ever had sex - regardless of how old you are, do you ev...
(Quote) Renai-414828 said: For those who have always been celibate ie never ever had sex - regardless of how old you are, do you ever worry that perhaps you'll die a virgin? is this a big concern for you, and how do you deal with this. And for the re-born virgins either by virtue of having gone through a divorce and now celibate or have had premarital sex and now celibate in keeping with the teachings of the church, do you fear never having sex again?..and for all who fit into the category above, how has this negatively affected your relationships in the past. I know it has been a deal breaker for some of the guys I've dated...hence why I'm here on CM. please share your thoughts. Thanks.
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02/23/2013 new
(Quote) Renai-414828 said: For those who have always been celibate ie never ever had sex - regardless of how old you are, do you ever worry t...
(Quote) Renai-414828 said: For those who have always been celibate ie never ever had sex - regardless of how old you are, do you ever worry that perhaps you'll die a virgin? is this a big concern for you, and how do you deal with this. And for the re-born virgins either by virtue of having gone through a divorce and now celibate or have had premarital sex and now celibate in keeping with the teachings of the church, do you fear never having sex again?..and for all who fit into the category above, how has this negatively affected your relationships in the past. I know it has been a deal breaker for some of the guys I've dated...hence why I'm here on CM. please share your thoughts. Thanks.
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Good post Renai! I do fear not having sex and getting married. God put the desire there, but we just have to exercise it wisely. I agree with Joseph when he said, "Virginity is more about God's protection than it is our self control." Furthermore, God gives us rules not to limit us, but because he wants us to live a full life and be happy. It's hard living in our sex obsessed world, but I believe that sex within marriage is better than sex outside of marriage. I also pray for God's grace that I can avoid temptation, and see the value of sex within marriage.

Blessings,

Candace

theheart rosary
02/24/2013 new

(Quote) Joseph-903200 said:Virginity is more about God's protection than it is our self control. Who knows what circums...
(Quote) Joseph-903200 said:

Virginity is more about God's protection than it is our self control. Who knows what circumstances and relationships God has protected me from that would have caused me to fall. And its him that places the desire and grace for purity in the first place. I don't have much to boast about I only thankful for his grace and protection.

--hide--



Putting it that way, one might take it to say that if they have made a mistake, God did not protect them from that situation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. If God did not allow us to be tempted, then we would never have the opportunity to rise above temptation and grow. There are situations where someone may not have had a choice in the matter. But the more common issues of premarital sex involve the human will. We are given the opportunity to choose to say no, or to say yes. This goes for everything, not just premarital sex.

02/24/2013 new
Hi Noemi. I understand your comments about Joseph's post. I didn't take it literally, because as you pointed out, we all have free will. I have found in general that when we step outside God's will for our lives, we are faced with the consequences of our actions, regardless of how difficult or painful the outcome may be. Additionally, my heart goes out to the individuals who have a history of sexual abuse, and had no choice in losing their virginity.

Blessings,

Candace

theheart
02/24/2013 new

Hi Candace. It is true, when we sin we are always faced with the consequences in one way or another. The wonderful thing about all of this is God's redeeming grace.

Blessings in return!

02/24/2013 new

(Quote) Noemi-900477 said: Putting it that way, one might take it to say that if they have made a mistake, God d...
(Quote) Noemi-900477 said:




Putting it that way, one might take it to say that if they have made a mistake, God did not protect them from that situation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. If God did not allow us to be tempted, then we would never have the opportunity to rise above temptation and grow. There are situations where someone may not have had a choice in the matter. But the more common issues of premarital sex involve the human will. We are given the opportunity to choose to say no, or to say yes. This goes for everything, not just premarital sex.

--hide--



Indeed we have free will to cooperate with what God wants to do in our lives. And yes we will be tempted but I do believe God protects us from temptation that would be too great for us to bear as per 1 Corinthians 10:13
No Trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength: but with the trail he will also provide a way out so that you may be able to bear it.
We are not alone in our temptations.

02/25/2013 new

I read somewhere in the lives of one of the saints that he/she had earned what was referred to as a "triple crown" in heaven. That is, one for being a martyr, one for dying a virgin, (and I forget the third sorry... for dying a religious perhaps?)


Sorry for the lack of information, it may have been St Maximilian Kolbe. I cannot seem to recall at the moment. But part of the crown being earned for their virginity made me think of your comment.

02/25/2013 new

(Quote) Billy-88650 said: I read somewhere in the lives of one of the saints that he/she had earned what was referred to as ...
(Quote) Billy-88650 said:

I read somewhere in the lives of one of the saints that he/she had earned what was referred to as a "triple crown" in heaven. That is, one for being a martyr, one for dying a virgin, (and I forget the third sorry... for dying a religious perhaps?)


Sorry for the lack of information, it may have been St Maximilian Kolbe. I cannot seem to recall at the moment. But part of the crown being earned for their virginity made me think of your comment.

--hide--

St. Max. Kolbe was one such. There's a story of him as a child receiving a vision from the Blessed Mother offering him either the crown of martyrdom or the crown of celibacy.

He asked if he could have them both.

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