(Quote) Gerald-283546 said:
Renai-414828 said: Hello guys, thanks for ALL of your comments - sorry I've been AWOL on the thread....pressing matters like pepping for an upcoming major surgery in 4 days!!..Ok, so here is my take:
I agree with most of what has been expressed above, but I do think quite a few folks miss the point of the original post - which indicates that we are talking about folks who already believe and accept the church's teachings on pre-marital sex, so further elaborating on the Church's teaching was not the question I want addressed, but rather how do people who are celibate, want to wait until marriage to have sex would feel if say they are 60, 70 or 80 and never get the opportunity to get married, thus never have sex, and not that they have taken a vow of celibacy (like some Opus dei members) or thinking about entering a religious order...personally, I have read Theology of the Body,and it makes sense to me, so there is not question about my views on the matter, however, I think sex is spiritual but also temporal....and a human experience most would like to have, all things being equal (ie one is in a good loving marriage) thus inasmuch as we focus on the spiritual aspect of sex as Catholics, we cannot and should not deny the human longing and need for it...in a good marriage, it enhances the experience...there is a human craving to have this experience. Yes, heaven is beyond our collective imagination and we hope we make it there to that permanent state of euphoria which has been described as the most heightened feeling the human mind cannot even begin to comprehend, but right now, we are here now, on earth, having a human experience of which sex is one of them - so wouldn't you like to at least sex before you die? I know I would, and I would feel "bad": if I never did and I am 80 - just being frank here...and no, that would not make me engage in sex prior to marriage. But I am human too.
Well, I will give you an honest answer. I am not claiming that I think the Church agrees. When discussing theologic questions, I usually clarify whether I am trying to say what I think the Church says or my own opinion. In this case, it is neither theological, nor are you asking what the Church says; you are apparently asking what we personally think.
I remember going through this thought process in my 20s. I decided that, yes, it would be a shame and a waste to be 80 and a virgin. God made us to have sex or he wouldn't have given us the organs and some of us the intense desire. I didn't want to be an old man and wondering what it was like. So, I decided to find out. I assure you, I do not regret that decision overall. In fact, I still think and feel that I would have regretted it if I had not experienced intimacy with a woman while I was a young man.
Nevertheless, doing so certainly complicated my life! After all the turmoil emanating from a few relationships based mostly on the physical and a child out of wedlock, I can certainly see why the Church teaches what it does for practical reasons and why it is not good for people to engage in sex in an uncommitted relationship. I have long since reformed my ways. What I believe now is that to find one, committed woman for life is the best way. My long standing celebacy has been a purificatrion and a clarification in hopes of something better. But only because I believe I will eventually find that better relartionship.
But, to be honest, given the choice between only the physical and nothing, I would certainly and definitely take the physical as a life experience not to be missed under any circumstances. Shallow sex is better than no sex at all. I do not believe in the cult of the virgin, and think that a sick and warped point of view. Not natural at all. Not healthy. Not human. Not enobling of itself (but the sacrifice could be enobling as a sacrifice). It is a cultural idiosyncrasy we acquired from the Semitic peoples.
But, to conclude my post, which will no doubt outrage many good and pious Cahtolics, what I believe now is not that sex is such a heinous sin (because I do not believe that at all), but that we should strive for something better than sex for merely physical pleasure's sake...we should strive for the union of two hearts, minds and souls in a committed pact of life long commitment. I hold out now, because I want something better. I believe that both the pleasure of this would be more intense, but also the pain would be more intense, as those two are related and interdependent. But, the Catholic form of bond has the potential to reach a peak way beyond the mere physical. Very very few, however, in my experience ever reach that. For most of us, it is just not going to happen. Yet, we can have hope.
But, to be clear about my answer, if I thought that a committed marriage was not going to be possible, I would definitely experience and enjoy the physical sex for sex's sake again before I died, and would certainly recommend it for a dying youth. Like Steve McQueen's character in that so Navy film, "The Last Detail," I would dearly wish a young fellow to be well laid before he died or entered the penitentiary. That is just my point of view however, and I know that the Magisterium would not agree. But, all those life long celebates and virgins are just wrong on this point if they think their point of view should control us all, I'm sorry to say. For some of us, life is to be lived.
Of course, one must be willing to pay the price....and it is high. The celebate life is much simpler, as my priestly brother is wont to say. But some of us have paid dearly in the past, but willingly.