Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

This is the place to post any questions about the way that CatholicMatch works or make suggestions. This room is open to both free and subscribing members.

Saint Anthony is the patron of lost things and missing persons.
Learn More:Saint Anthony

suggested norms/etiquette

Nov 26th 2012 new

It seems to offend and/or hurt a lot of people on here when they dont get a response to messages/emotigrams they've sent other members.

And there's no consensus on what constitutes courtesy and discourtesy in that regard

Simple solution?... maybe the CM staff can write up some basic norms / suggested etiquette? And get that information out somehow? send it out as a message to all members?


Just seems people are getting their feelings hurt unnecessarily


maybe theres already something like this written somewhere? and just not advertised?

Nov 26th 2012 new

I don't know what kind of norms/guidelines there would be. You certainly can't expect members to respond to every single message or emotigram, can you? Even a cursory response would be work. And what if the recipient has no interest? The chain of back-and-forth must end sometime. Why not immediately?

Nov 26th 2012 new

You kinda answered your own question here. It's difficult to surmize or suggest what could be considered "normal" when, in regards to etiquette and courtesy, perceptions vary as to just what defines each. While it makes for a good discussion and people will share many good ideas, in the end, everyone tends to do what feels most comfortable to them personally. Some are the types that return every message regardless of interest, and others will never return any message unless they think that person is marriage material. Some people will perceive one behavior as appropriate, and others will perceive the other behavior as appropriate. There will likely never be a clear concensus where "normal" could be defined.

Nov 26th 2012 new

It has been suggested in the past thar members should be somehow forced to respond.. Seeing's how this isn't a dictatorship and we are all adults here, presumably, it's best to leave things as they are.

Nov 26th 2012 new

First post alert. Welcome Jill!

Nov 27th 2012 new

(Quote) Jill-447586 said: It seems to offend and/or hurt a lot of people on here when they dont get a response to messages/e...
(Quote) Jill-447586 said:

It seems to offend and/or hurt a lot of people on here when they dont get a response to messages/emotigrams they've sent other members.

And there's no consensus on what constitutes courtesy and discourtesy in that regard

Simple solution?... maybe the CM staff can write up some basic norms / suggested etiquette? And get that information out somehow? send it out as a message to all members?


Just seems people are getting their feelings hurt unnecessarily


maybe theres already something like this written somewhere? and just not advertised?

--hide--


Jill, someone on here ( don't remember who) told me, "you have to be thick skinned to post in the forums!" and I am beginning to believe it!

Nov 27th 2012 new

(Quote) Jill-447586 said: It seems to offend and/or hurt a lot of people on here when they dont get a response to messages/e...
(Quote) Jill-447586 said:

It seems to offend and/or hurt a lot of people on here when they dont get a response to messages/emotigrams they've sent other members.

And there's no consensus on what constitutes courtesy and discourtesy in that regard

Simple solution?... maybe the CM staff can write up some basic norms / suggested etiquette? And get that information out somehow? send it out as a message to all members?


Just seems people are getting their feelings hurt unnecessarily


maybe theres already something like this written somewhere? and just not advertised?

--hide--
Greetings, Jill. First of all, welcome to the CM forums. Despite your misgivings about responding, this is actually a good place to get acquainted with other CM members. If you read and participate in some of the topics presented, you can express your views, and learn what others know and think. There's a lot of wisdom to be shared by the members, along with personal support.

As far as your immediate concern goes, it's been covered many times, with generally the same conclusions that Victor mentioned. It would be a courteous gesture to respond to everyone, but the reasons for not responding are numerous and varied.

If you look at the forum search feature, and plug in the topic, you'll find previous threads relating to what your asking.

If you respond to everyone, at least you won't be accused of being impolite or rude. While I'm far behind in responding, I have never regarded it as work but that's just my opinion.

Hope to see you in some of the different "rooms". biggrin

Nov 27th 2012 new

(Quote) Barbara-740721 said: Jill, someone on here ( don't remember who) told me, "you have to be thick ski...
(Quote) Barbara-740721 said:



Jill, someone on here ( don't remember who) told me, "you have to be thick skinned to post in the forums!" and I am beginning to believe it!

--hide--


To a degree I agree with that... at least in regards to reading what others post. However, in regards to others' comments on our own posts, I'm more apt to believe that being adult enough to accept the fact that not everyone will agree with our point of view is acceptable, and not an excuse to react like a spolied child when they do disagree. That doesn't require one to have a "thick skin", per se, just an adult's maturity level. We cannot control anyone's thoughts and words, only how we choose to react to them.


Just my two cents


theheart

Nov 27th 2012 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: To a degree I agree with that... at least in regards to reading what others post. H...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


To a degree I agree with that... at least in regards to reading what others post. However, in regards to others' comments on our own posts, I'm more apt to believe that being adult enough to accept the fact that not everyone will agree with our point of view is acceptable, and not an excuse to react like a spolied child when they do disagree. That doesn't require one to have a "thick skin", per se, just an adult's maturity level. We cannot control anyone's thoughts and words, only how we choose to react to them.


Just my

--hide--

Victor, I never specified how, you may have read to much into it!

Nov 27th 2012 new

(Quote) Barbara-740721 said: Victor, I never specified how, you may have read to much into it!
(Quote) Barbara-740721 said:


Victor, I never specified how, you may have read to much into it!

--hide--


It was a general comment, not exclusive to any one person(s). biggrin


theheart

Posts 1 - 10 of 24