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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

11/30/2012 new

(Quote) Donna-871766 said: I don't believe most women are that shallow. Perhaps it was he that "traded up&q...
(Quote) Donna-871766 said:



I don't believe most women are that shallow. Perhaps it was he that "traded up" (as you say) when he found her?

The good Lord did not place our eyes in the back of our head so why do you insisted on looking at what is behind you? The past is the past. She did not make it into your future for a reason (and only God knows His plans for you) so I will pray for you, in hopes that you can focus on what is ahead of you, and that when you find it your greatest blessing will come along with it.

--hide--


Unfortunately, a lot of men think we are that shallow.. boggled

11/30/2012 new

(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: You have no idea how outraged I was a couple of years ago when I read on FB that another man was...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:

You have no idea how outraged I was a couple of years ago when I read on FB that another man was announcing his "engagement" to my wife despite the fact that the divorce was 2-3 months away. I did not see this person until after the divorce (and the marriage when the ink wasn't even dry on the divorce ), and I just had to laugh. This guy almost 20 years older than my ex, and looks almost like her father.

Even though the situation still annoys me I saw him in broad daylight when I returned one of my daughter to her moms house, and this guy has a gut hanging over his beltline not to mention that he is not an attractive man by any means. Don't most women usually trade "up" to get back at their ec spouses?

--hide--
My ex is living with his girlfriend. I figure better her than me! Seriously, though I try to say nice things about her to my kids. Since she is part of his life, she will be part of theirs. By not being negative about it, they able to be more open to a relationship with their dad. I don't want them to be uncomfortable in any way (at least not from my actions).

12/01/2012 new

irked That situation sounds nasty at best. Many other things at worst. But, I don't know that anyone trades "up" or "down".

I probably wouldn't compare myself to this other guy in any way, or worry at all about "why" she did what she did. Just count your blessings that you have a second chance and this time you can find someone who won't trade you "up" or "down" or any other which way. wave

12/01/2012 new

I understand how you must have felt especially reading the news on FB. I am so sorry you had to go thru that. I believe that we go thru things in order to learn from them. Also, we become stronger for all the miserable things we have had to endure. Time does heal our wounds. It took me a very long time to heal from my divorce when I thought I never would. God is with you every step of the way and know that he will never fail you. I hope you and your children have a wonderful Christmas this year. Enjoy every moment with them that you have now because time moves so quickly.


I have been divorced for 33 years. My daughter just turned 35. We survived our stressful times and just know that you will too.

12/01/2012 new

Sometimes you just have to laugh. I have found that it is best to just take the high road when dealing with my ex. I am probably going to be helping her move into her new husband's place tomorrow.

Funny story. A few weeks ago, my ex got into an argument with her sister. Apparently the solution to this dispute was for my ex to burn rubber across my whole front yard.

I came home from work that afternoon and saw tire tracks across my whole yard. I just shook my head and said I am not even going to ask. LOL

God Bless and good luck,

Will

12/01/2012 new

(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: You have no idea how outraged I was a couple of years ago when I read on FB that another man was...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:

You have no idea how outraged I was a couple of years ago when I read on FB that another man was announcing his "engagement" to my wife despite the fact that the divorce was 2-3 months away. I did not see this person until after the divorce (and the marriage when the ink wasn't even dry on the divorce ), and I just had to laugh. This guy almost 20 years older than my ex, and looks almost like her father.

Even though the situation still annoys me I saw him in broad daylight when I returned one of my daughter to her moms house, and this guy has a gut hanging over his beltline not to mention that he is not an attractive man by any means. Don't most women usually trade "up" to get back at their ec spouses?

--hide--


Sometimes laughter does help...in certain situations. In this case, however, laughter may be acting only as a defense mechanism in covering up feelings that have not been worked through. Your former wife has chosen another man to continue her path with. Even though this man may not be attractive in your eyes, your former wife has her reasons for choosing him. Sometimes when we react in ways that cause us to say negative things about another, it is indicative that there are still unresolved feelings.

You have listed several characteristics about this gentleman that are perceptual. If you had a more favorable perception of him, I don't feel it would make you feel any differently. Always rise above, no matter how difficult, because this strenthens you.

Divorce is painful. Every one who goes through this has their own path to walk, their own length to walk, and their own obstacles to overcome along the way. Acceptance only comes with time.

Blessings to you.

12/01/2012 new

(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: You have no idea how outraged I was a couple of years ago when I read on FB that another man was...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:

You have no idea how outraged I was a couple of years ago when I read on FB that another man was announcing his "engagement" to my wife despite the fact that the divorce was 2-3 months away. I did not see this person until after the divorce (and the marriage when the ink wasn't even dry on the divorce ), and I just had to laugh. This guy almost 20 years older than my ex, and looks almost like her father.

Even though the situation still annoys me I saw him in broad daylight when I returned one of my daughter to her moms house, and this guy has a gut hanging over his beltline not to mention that he is not an attractive man by any means. Don't most women usually trade "up" to get back at their ec spouses?

--hide--


we all have said that we would get someone better looking than our ex after our divorces. It's the way of the world talking though. Whoever God has in mind for you that is who you will get. In other peoples eyes that person may not live up to the expectations that are presented within us. My ex husband was a nice looking man with average build. I've dated heavy set men, thin men, and men who were bald. LOL looks really do not matter, the thing that matters most is what is in their Hearts. I only look for the good in everyone and hope for the best.

12/02/2012 new

wave


Daniel, I hope and pray that you will be able to get your mind around other matters. It is indeed sad that your former wife has treated you so shabbily. My heart goes out to you. I do believe that you have better things to do with your faith, and with your time, and with your energy, than to think about her any more. Her future is her business and no longer yours.

12/02/2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: (Quote) Daniel-634934 said: You have no idea how outraged I was a couple o...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

Quote:
Daniel-634934 said:

You have no idea how outraged I was a couple of years ago when I read on FB that another man was announcing his "engagement" to my wife despite the fact that the divorce was 2-3 months away. I did not see this person until after the divorce (and the marriage when the ink wasn't even dry on the divorce ), and I just had to laugh. This guy almost 20 years older than my ex, and looks almost like her father.

Even though the situation still annoys me I saw him in broad daylight when I returned one of my daughter to her moms house, and this guy has a gut hanging over his beltline not to mention that he is not an attractive man by any means. Don't most women usually trade "up" to get back at their ec spouses?



Why resent her for this? She made a coice and will have to live with it. Move on. Live well. Enjoy the life God has given you and accept your situation and your ex-wife as they are. Acceptance is the key to serenity and spiritual growth.

--hide--
David, I don't have the heart to return your post with ugliness because you are a positive influence on CM, and your advice is very much appreciated. That woman's behavior emasculated me as a person, and I don't have a grace filled heart so I can't be happy for her not to mention that forgiveness won't be quick and easy.

What she did hurt the children much more than she did me, and for those who feel the need to be happy for her, and to minimize what SHE did why even bother to respond to this thread????

12/02/2012 new

(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: David, I don't have the heart to return your post with ugliness because you are a positive i...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:

David, I don't have the heart to return your post with ugliness because you are a positive influence on CM, and your advice is very much appreciated. That woman's behavior emasculated me as a person, and I don't have a grace filled heart so I can't be happy for her not to mention that forgiveness won't be quick and easy.

What she did hurt the children much more than she did me, and for those who feel the need to be happy for her, and to minimize what SHE did why even bother to respond to this thread????

--hide--


you'll never be happy until you forgive and forget.

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