Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
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Not speaking for all women but for me a man is attractive if he is confident in his own skin, has a sense of humor, is kind, thoughtful and just a great guy. However extra attractive points if he can cook and he doesn't mind learning about the gluten free life style. :)
Gluten-free! I hear ya!
I have found that appearance is of some importance but kindness and strength in who they are, their ability to connect and, most of all for me, their love of God and all that is good is what makes a man attractive to me.
I also agree that attractiveness is important.
KEY CAVEAT: attractiveness takes many forms.
A gentleman should always be neatly groomed and clean - that is a basic requirment for attractiveness. If you need a haircut, get a haircut. If you need your clothes cleaned or repaired, get that done. If you shoes are scuffed, polish them. etc.
A gentleman should be as close to a normal weight as possible. Obesity for either gender is rarely attractive.
A gentleman should smile, be kind, have a sense of humor, be chivalrous and interested. These traits make a gentleman attractive.
If these basics are in place, there is enormous latitude with regard to physical attributes that would be considered attractive in a gentleman. Could be short, tall, bald, dark, light, wrinkled, have a prominent nose, or have cerebral palsy and be considered very attractive. (all examples form CM)
I have to agree that obesity is rarely attractive in ether gender, even worse when they dress in a way to display their obesity in the worst possible way.
However, today obesity seems to be in style. Men and women in their 20's look like folks used to look in their 50's when I was a kid.
I can't help but wonder if people ever look in the mirror with a critical eye to try to see what others see.
John-220051 said: What makes a man attractive and boyfriend/husband material?
We, like men, are all different, but the following are attributes that I find attractive: A kind, strong nature; strong ethical/Christian values; strong Catholic faith;a man who is protective of those less fortunate and his family; honesty with enough kindness not to be abrasive; flexibility; a man who honors the Blessed Mother, his own mother and his wife; a man who is responsible, does the right thing and makes time to have fun and laugh; a man who loves to go to Mass; a man who loves family, but puts his wife first before everyone else; a man who loves me; an Alabama fan or at the very least a man who will enjoy watching me be an Alabama fan ...just to name a few.
Good questions, John. I'll look forward to the other answers.
Wow I agree with most everything here. That was Beautiful!
Sadly, you are placing all women (and men for that matter) in the same boat. It would be like me assuming that all men are lying, cheating b-words because of one life experience. I know this is not true. Sad!
I apologize if that statement came across as a generalization to you. That was never the intention. What I was trying to say is that people, in general, will not readily admit that it's the physical attributes that make another person attractive to them, initially at least. Why? Because it creates an image of them as being shallow, if not, superficial. Moreso in a public forum of a catholic site like this (would have been different if it was a beauty pageant where there is a premium for physical looks). I did say that I give everybody the benefit of the doubt when they say otherwise. Further, I commended Linda in a later comment for being upfront by saying that indeed physical looks constitute an important ingredient for the initial attraction. Did I see her (Linda) as being superficial? No. Instead I look at her as an honest woman who is unafraid to say what's in her mind (which by the way, is attractive to me). You are free to interpret my statement any which way you want, but please do know that my statement was not an assumption "that all men (or women) are lying, cheating b-words".
Rereading my post, I can see my reference was not clear. I was not meaning to state that you assume that of people. I was trying to use an example of dating a man who lacks fidelity. One life experience dating a man who cheats = all men are lying cheaters .... I meant to state that this is a logical falicy.
In the end, whatever floats your boat. (Not to be a relativist, but I don't have the energy to talk you out of something you already believe about yourself and women in general.) I get tired of the search for "physical perfection" that is so a part of our society... especially California culture.... especially at the cost of moral purity and even self-decency. (To clarify, not mking these statements about you... just clarifying what I have witnessed in my life experience.) Physical beauty may be a part of initial attraction, but both fade. I'm just looking for more...
This thread makes me feel defensive of "ugly" and "fat" people, whoever they may be according to whatever cultural norms are being used. If you are sitting at home hating yourself because of this thread, I am praying for you. You are loved.
I am sorry to come off as a weirdo or whatever, but I have read threads a few times that make me question myself and myself worth because of comments like a few present in this thread. Oh, well... right?