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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Single Life

Dec 2nd 2012 new

Hi all!


A question...


At what point in life do you decide (discern with certainty) that you might just be called to a single life?


Not asking for myself, just asking in general! wink

Dec 2nd 2012 new
When I turn 40 with still no success or when 7 girls break up with me, whichever comes first laughing
Dec 2nd 2012 new

I think it is part of the process when discerning, not based on a particular age or time.

Dec 2nd 2012 new
It's something I've pondered in recent months, so I stopped with the feelings of anticipation. I've gotten some opposing views on that, though, like I no longer was trying. So, I'm not sure how to answer your question. Lol in this society, it doesn't seem that people choose single life... It's what happens when you don't ever marry. If you choose the religious life, that's your choice. But, I think that, if you choose the single life (not you directly... Lol), then people just assume, Oh, she gave up on dating. Oh well, people will think what they want.
Dec 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Nancy-838315 said: Hi all! A question... At what point in life do you decide (discern with cer...
(Quote) Nancy-838315 said:

Hi all!


A question...


At what point in life do you decide (discern with certainty) that you might just be called to a single life?


Not asking for myself, just asking in general!

--hide--


I haven't given up, but I tend to proceed with a lot less expectation that marriage will happen. I'm learning to be content where I am, because I may be there awhile! I am not choosing to be single, I will continue to keep the avenues to marriage open (going on dates, using CM, etc.), but I no longer hold out the same hope as I once did. I'm not depressed about it, but I'm realistic in my views. The liklihood of marriage decreases with each passing year. I'm learning to say "your will, God, not mine." And along with that I often pray, "please show me how you would like me to use my time if it's not used in bringing up a family. Show me what you would like me to do."

Dec 2nd 2012 new

Thank you! I think very good points were made! Singleness does seem to be something that happens to you because you can't seem to find someone to marry! I was just wondering if people choose it at a certain point in life. I know many women who didn't seem to start living life until they married, as if life didn't truly begin until they reach that state in life. So a person waits to live life until 40? 50? 70? Or whenever it may be they marry... if they marry? I was just wondering if by choosing the single life, people in our society would feel more compelled to live life to the fullest, now! Thoughts?

Dec 2nd 2012 new
Just my two cents. What is more important is Holiness! Weither as a priest, brother, nun, married,single it doesnt matter. Our goal is to go home to be with our Father in heaven!! This is not an easy goal. God puts people in our lives to help in this goal. Maybe for some, the married life is best. St Paul has something to say about that. But if we truely love God, then He will provide for our every need. Not want but need. If we really need that other, He will provide. So seek ye first the Kingdom and the rest will come according to His will!
Dec 2nd 2012 new
(Quote) Nancy-838315 said: Hi all! A question... At what point in life do you decide (discern with c...
(Quote) Nancy-838315 said:

Hi all!




A question...




At what point in life do you decide (discern with certainty) that you might just be called to a single life?






Not asking for myself, just asking in general!

--hide--


Seriously- Since I joined Catholic Match.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. CM has not been good for my self esteem and I am seriously wondering if God is telling me that I am called to a single life. Not really happy about it though.
Dec 2nd 2012 new
I know many women who didn't seem to start living life until they married, as if life didn't truly begin until they reach that state in life. So a person waits to live life until 40? 50? 70? Or whenever it may be they marry... if they marry? I was just wondering if by choosing the single life, people in our society would feel more compelled to live life to the fullest, now! Thoughts?

[/quote]

When I was young and naive, I thought life didn't start until you were married. I thought as long as I was a good girl, prince charming would come and sweep me away and I would live happily ever after. I call it the Cinderella Syndrome. It actually worked for my mother (of course my father was royalty in my eyes only not in reality). But I did look forward to being a simple stay at home mom and house wife. I think it is culturally taught, and definitely taught in my family at the time. I did get over this a long time ago however.
Dec 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: I know many women who didn't seem to start living life until they married, as if life didn't...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: I know many women who didn't seem to start living life until they married, as if life didn't truly begin until they reach that state in life. So a person waits to live life until 40? 50? 70? Or whenever it may be they marry... if they marry? I was just wondering if by choosing the single life, people in our society would feel more compelled to live life to the fullest, now! Thoughts? [/quote]

When I was young and naive, I thought life didn't start until you were married. I thought as long as I was a good girl, prince charming would come and sweep me away and I would live happily ever after. I call it the Cinderella Syndrome. It actually worked for my mother (of course my father was royalty in my eyes only not in reality). But I did look forward to being a simple stay at home mom and house wife. I think it is culturally taught, and definitely taught in my family at the time. I did get over this a long time ago however.
--hide--


I guess there is a part of me that would like to be Cinderella... I never thought I'd say THAT in my life!!!...in that I want marriage, children... and being a stay-at-home wife and mother would be all the better!


I went to coffee with my parents the other night. I was telling them of my plans for the next year or two. I am starting a MA program out of the UK that will require me to travel there occasionally. I received permission from work (I teach Jr. High at a Catholic school.) to take 3-5 months off next year for missionary work in India. I am heading to WYD this summer.... so much stuff I have been dreaming about for SO long and it is starting to come to be.


My mother, God bless her, asked the question, "What are you going to do if your husband comes around while you are busy with all of this?"


Tell him to get on board and update his passport? I don't know how to answer the question, to be honest. The heart of the matter is that marriage and family is what I want, but I don't want to sit around waiting for it. I want to go do what I feel called to do. Isn't that how you meet people, anyways?


I guess, the question my mother asked is a common one for most women... well, women in my peer group! Is there a point where finding a spouse is not your life's priority? DO people activily choose single life as a way of holiness?

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