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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 5th 2012 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: ...and send your Guardian Angel to 'his' Guardian Angel! They will work out the details of ...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said:

...and send your Guardian Angel to 'his' Guardian Angel! They will work out the details of the meet.



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wink

Dec 5th 2012 new

(Quote) Peter-449116 said: When you're pushing 68! Seriously, I'm happy, enjoy my grandkids, keep busy with the Knig...
(Quote) Peter-449116 said:

When you're pushing 68! Seriously, I'm happy, enjoy my grandkids, keep busy with the Knights of Columbus and Church activities. I've learned to be content with my life, and no longer dwell on what might have been. You on the other hand are a lovely young woman, and shouldn't be entertaining thoughts like that!

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Thank you, Peter! You are so sweet! I think holiness is my call... and I will answer! laughing Praying lovestruck!

Dec 5th 2012 new

(Quote) Rae-242317 said: Nancy, I would ask your mother, "What if my future husband is in India? Or maybe I meet him l...
(Quote) Rae-242317 said: Nancy,

I would ask your mother, "What if my future husband is in India? Or maybe I meet him leading a group for WYD?"

Things work out if you make them work out--asking God, Mary and all the saints for a little help!

The experiences you will gain may be needed further down the road. You aren't being busy to escape, you are following what God asked you to do, yes? He will provide.

Blessings!

Rae
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An excellent reply! My mother means nothing by it... She just wants me to be happy and holy. Thank you! hug



Dec 5th 2012 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: To answer the question, I have never felt called to the single state of l...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

To answer the question, I have never felt called to the single state of life, because it is not something I or any of us are called to.

This comes up every few months here on CM, I urge everyone who is still single and thinks of this as a fall back position, "maybe I am called to be single, to please do the research, as there is no calling/vocation to being single. It is a state of life not a vocation (to which one could be called).

Tossing around the word vocation with the word single is a post Vatican II feel good sort of thing that has occurred to make single people feel less left out, like their lives are still important, or less like they live "on the Isle of Misfit Toys" (to use a "Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer" analogy). So you will see even priests use the term "the single vocation", but it is not theologically correct.

There are three states of life (ordained, married, unmarried) which is a factual, demographic categorization, but two vocations (consecrated holy orders/avowed life and marriage). That is it.

Some people by nature are never going to be married (such as the "eunichs" referred to in the new testament), there are some people who are going to forgo the natural law "calling" to the married vocation and by that sacrifice do some good service (being a missionary in Africa, being the dutiful son or daughter serving an elderly parent in need--the urging that St. Paul made to us), but that does not make it a vocation. That was a decision or a service or a ministry best done by maintaining the single state of life, but it is not a vocation.

It does not make it bad or not of good value not to be a vocation, it just is not one of the two vocations.

You are either called to the consecrated life (priest, nun, consecrated virgin living in the world) or you are called to marriage.

A vocation requires three things: a call (from God), a fiat (the acceptance of the call, the yes from us), and this is the thing: a VOW to someone else (formal, public, lifelong, irrevocable). That is only holy orders/consecrated life, and marriage that have all three elements.

Just sort of deciding or by some inaction or confluence of circumstances remaining single does not involve any of that, and particularly does not include the last (the vow).

The vast majority of us are called to marriage. Those who are long not married need to first reconsider whether they were in fact called to the consecrated life and just missed it somehow, or if they are still called to the vocation of marriage, figure out why the fulfillment of it has not occurred (either due to self, to circumstances, selfishness, concupiscence or whatever). Unless you are consecrated virgin living in the world (and that requires a bishop and a ceremony and a vow, which is not most of us, if you are just watching hanging out still, working, trying to be a good person and citizen, and are single, that is great, but that is not a vocation.

Okay, end of lecture! This is just my pet peeve, and I worry how many wonderful called to the vocation of marriage people there are that lose lots of precious time and opportunity to marriage because of this point. It breaks my heart!

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I do not feel called to single life, I have never felt it was a vocation, and I agree with Pat. I have enjoyed many MANY aspects of my single life. BUT I LOVE my meories of having boyfriends having fun together AND I really like and prefer having a partner for many reasons. He just has to be who God chooses. If I have already somehow missed him, so be it, I will remain open to meeting someone who would be appropriate for me as long as I live, but will continue to make the best of my state.... theheart

Dec 5th 2012 new

[quote]Marian-83994 said:

[quote]Pat-5351 said:

To answer the question, I have never felt called to the single state of life, because it is not something I or any of us are called to.

This comes up every few months here on CM, I urge everyone who is still single and thinks of this as a fall back position, "maybe I am called to be single, to please do the research, as there is no calling/vocation to being single. It is a state of life not a vocation (to which one could be called).

Tossing around the word vocation with the word single is a post Vatican II feel good sort of thing that has occurred to make single people feel less left out, like their lives are still important, or less like they live "on the Isle of Misfit Toys" (to use a "Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer" analogy). So you will see even priests use the term "the single vocation", but it is not theologically correct.

There are three states of life (ordained, married, unmarried) which is a factual, demographic categorization, but two vocations (consecrated holy orders/avowed life and marriage). That is it.

Some people by nature are never going to be married (such as the "eunichs" referred to in the new testament), there are some people who are going to forgo the natural law "calling" to the married vocation and by that sacrifice do some good service (being a missionary in Africa, being the dutiful son or daughter serving an elderly parent in need--the urging that St. Paul made to us), but that does not make it a vocation. That was a decision or a service or a ministry best done by maintaining the single state of life, but it is not a vocation.

It does not make it bad or not of good value not to be a vocation, it just is not one of the two vocations.

You are either called to the consecrated life (priest, nun, consecrated virgin living in the world) or you are called to marriage.

A vocation requires three things: a call (from God), a fiat (the acceptance of the call, the yes from us), and this is the thing: a VOW to someone else (formal, public, lifelong, irrevocable). That is only holy orders/consecrated life, and marriage that have all three elements.

Just sort of deciding or by some inaction or confluence of circumstances remaining single does not involve any of that, and particularly does not include the last (the vow).

The vast majority of us are called to marriage. Those who are long not married need to first reconsider whether they were in fact called to the consecrated life and just missed it somehow, or if they are still called to the vocation of marriage, figure out why the fulfillment of it has not occurred (either due to self, to circumstances, selfishness, concupiscence or whatever). Unless you are consecrated virgin living in the world (and that requires a bishop and a ceremony and a vow, which is not most of us, if you are just watching hanging out still, working, trying to be a good person and citizen, and are single, that is great, but that is not a vocation.

Okay, end of lecture! This is just my pet peeve, and I worry how many wonderful called to the vocation of marriage people there are that lose lots of precious time and opportunity to marriage because of this point. It breaks my heart!



Having technical problems with my connection which is ruining my editing! irked

I do not feel called to single life, I have never felt it was a vocation, and I agree with Pat. I have enjoyed many MANY aspects of my single life. BUT I LOVE my memories of having boyfriends and having fun together AND I really like and prefer having a partner for many reasons. He just has to be who God chooses. If I have already somehow missed him, so be it, I will remain open to meeting someone who would be appropriate for me as long as I live, but will continue to make the best of my state....

.......cloud fluffy Song Stormy Weather begins....note cloud

Dec 5th 2012 new

Stormy Weather
Lena Horne explains...



www.youtube.com

Dec 5th 2012 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Hmmm.... I have a decent amount of Catholic/Christian books, and I thought it was a vocation. To my knowl...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Hmmm.... I have a decent amount of Catholic/Christian books, and I thought it was a vocation. To my knowledge, the vocations include married life, religious life, and single life. I would have to dig through my books to find references, though! Lol
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While I have no doubt you read that single life is a vocation, that doesn't make it so. People make up (or pass on) all sorts of things that aren't true and somehow managed to have them published.

Dec 5th 2012 new

(Quote) Nancy-838315 said: I guess there is a part of me that would like to be Cinderella... I never t...
(Quote) Nancy-838315 said:


I guess there is a part of me that would like to be Cinderella... I never thought I'd say THAT in my life!!!...in that I want marriage, children... and being a stay-at-home wife and mother would be all the better!


I went to coffee with my parents the other night. I was telling them of my plans for the next year or two. I am starting a MA program out of the UK that will require me to travel there occasionally. I received permission from work (I teach Jr. High at a Catholic school.) to take 3-5 months off next year for missionary work in India. I am heading to WYD this summer.... so much stuff I have been dreaming about for SO long and it is starting to come to be.


My mother, God bless her, asked the question, "What are you going to do if your husband comes around while you are busy with all of this?"


Tell him to get on board and update his passport? I don't know how to answer the question, to be honest. The heart of the matter is that marriage and family is what I want, but I don't want to sit around waiting for it. I want to go do what I feel called to do. Isn't that how you meet people, anyways?


I guess, the question my mother asked is a common one for most women... well, women in my peer group! Is there a point where finding a spouse is not your life's priority? DO people activily choose single life as a way of holiness?

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Nancy, my belief is - you do the things you are called to do such as mission work, your MA program, next summer's WYD. If you have a soul mate, he could show up in any of those places. What better way to find someone who has the same call as you have?

Go for it, gir!! hug hersheyskiss biggrin

Dec 5th 2012 new
(Quote) When I turn 40 with still no success or when 7 girls break up with me, whichever comes first
(Quote) When I turn 40 with still no success or when 7 girls break up with me, whichever comes first
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I can laugh because I've been there. But now that I'm way past 40 and well beyond 7 dumpings I can now say - life is not over at 40! Or 50, 60, 70, etc! You never know what's around the corner!
Dec 5th 2012 new

lol very funny

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