I didn't cry at my husband's burial. It was 10+ days after the death, and my husband was ill for several years, so much of the really emotional mourning was already past.
We did not have a funeral when he died -- because I didn't want to cry in front of the community and I didn't want to be forced to control my emotions either. And my kids were all in grade school, so I couldn't see putting them through all that.... Instead, we had Mass in our living room for the older kids, my sisters, mom and me. The burial was self, mom, and one sister, no kids.
I didn't cry for my mom or dad, either...but I think that was because they both were blessed with "happy deaths": all fences mended, all work completed, peaceful and accepting.
Wishing your family the same.
Thanks for sharing your story Marge and the well wishes. And my sympathies on the loss of your husband.
In my cases - both are happy deaths in the sense of great thankfulness for these people, they were truly kind Godly people, with no lingering items.
But I think you understand what I am saying - because you felt you may be impacted by who is present or not.
For me, I think the people that die are the ones I am most comfortable with and would've cried with.
I think it may come down to feeling worthy, and it is okay.