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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: It figures! Women can't even decide how they want to inflict torture on us poor guys!...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

It figures! Women can't even decide how they want to inflict torture on us poor guys!

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Apparently we are our own worst enemy driving all the men away.. Kind of hard to do when they are not PRESENT in the first place.. weeping

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Dec 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Wendy-387654 said: With this in mind, let me suggest 13 marks of biblical manhood. The achievement of these vital qu...
(Quote) Wendy-387654 said:

With this in mind, let me suggest 13 marks of biblical manhood. The achievement of these vital qualities marks the emergence of a man who will demonstrate true biblical masculinity.

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First, thank you for the list; I will review it.

Second, my excuse of being here at this time of the day, during this moon is that I just moved to a new town and would like to relax after all my unpacking. :)

Third, those qualities are dandy to posses except that if a woman cannot identify them then whats the point? This has gotten me to think of today's reading. The Lord went to Adam first (let's skip that for today), then went Eve. Eve was smart to use the same excuse Adam did. Finding a smart woman is not the problem. Yes, I will make it a point to get my duff off the forums and this site very soon and explore my new town....there is not much more to get a man to socialize with strangers the reality of hoarding life to oneself. A baby needs to come out after 39 weeks just like the Israelites had to leave Egypt or else.....Passover = childbirth...think about it.

God Bless.

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Dec 8th 2012 new

What intersting reading. Twenty years ago the sentiments expressed in different foums about thesame topic were not terribly different. What wasn't learned, I wonder. Are we too set in our ways? Are we afraid of getting burned, even with the Lord at our side? Are we too obsessed with finding a partner we forget to live life while we wait? Don't know. I am sorry for all those folks who have suffred disappointment. We are on journeys with our Lord. He is always with us. I miss the human companionship for sure. This is Advent - a season Hope. Best wishes to everyone, even the grumpy frumpies!!!

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Dec 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Wendy-387654 said: Thank you Pat and Susie, for introducing me to this webzine. In today's day and ...
(Quote) Wendy-387654 said:


Thank you Pat and Susie, for introducing me to this webzine. In today's day and age, with so much toxic stuff on tv (at the movies) it's hard to find good, healthy, spiritual advice about who men should be, who women should be, what a marriage should look like, etc. Very helpful for not only myself, but for my teenage kids. Good stuff ladies.


From another article, one which I will share with my teenage son and daughters since there is such a need to help define what a Godly man looks like/acts like www.boundless.org


The Marks of Manhood:

When does a boy become a man? The answer to this must go far beyond biology and chronological age. As defined in the Bible, manhood is a functional reality, demonstrated in a man's fulfillment of responsibility and leadership.

With this in mind, let me suggest 13 marks of biblical manhood. The achievement of these vital qualities marks the emergence of a man who will demonstrate true biblical masculinity.

1. Spiritual maturity sufficient to lead a wife and children.

2. Personal maturity sufficient to be a responsible husband and father.

3. Economic maturity sufficient to hold an adult job and handle money.

4. Physical maturity sufficient to work and protect a family.

5. Sexual maturity sufficient to marry and fulfill God's purposes.

6. Moral maturity sufficient to lead as example of righteousness.

7. Ethical maturity sufficient to make responsible decisions.

8. Worldview maturity sufficient to understand what is really important.

9. Relational maturity sufficient to understand and respect others.

10. Social maturity sufficient to make a contribution to society.

11. Verbal maturity sufficient to communicate and articulate as a man.

12. Character maturity sufficient to demonstrate courage under fire.

13. Biblical maturity sufficient to lead at some level in the church.

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Excellent Wendy!!

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Dec 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Loretta-678584 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: (Quote) Loretta-678584 said:<...
(Quote) Loretta-678584 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

Quote:
Loretta-678584 said:

Quote:
Victor-544727 said:


While the fora serve a useful communal and social purpose it's no secret that those who participate in the fora on a regular basis, as opposed to those who do not, experience a much lower rate of success in finding a potential mate than those who do not. Personally. in the 3 years that I've been on this site, I've seen more done in this fora that discourages people to pursue relationships than encourage, particularly when directed at new members/posters.


Let's face reality here for a minute. By and large, aside from the prayer room, this fora is an incubator of negativity, bitterness, and anger. Very little in the way of positive expression permeates itself in this place anymore. In many cases those who attempt to inject positivity in here are quickly ganged-up on and completely run over by those who use the fora as their personal shooting range.


For some who post in here, and have for years, the fora has become their bad marriage. As unfortunate and unfair as that comparison may seem, the parallels are striking. They're unhappy with their present state and surroundings, but either cannot or will not do what is necessary to improve their circumstance. Rather, they project their unhappiness unto everyone who crosses their paths. I hard for these people because they've been so unhappy for so long that they don't even recognize it anymore.


Just my


I'm taking this to heart. i wont be back in this room





ThIS SHOWS HOW inappropriate Victors comment is- if it gets persons to say they are not returning. THIs is NOT OK. NOT OK. NOT!!!!!


Where are the moderators? HOW MANY DO WE NEEED? Loretta YOU ARE WELCOME HERE

Victor that is just UGLY!


I know you are trying to champion me and I appreciate that but here is the deal.... I think Victor is right! Being in the fora alot is a waste of time! Out of all the encounters that I HAVE HAD ON THIS SITE... NONE of them have been initiated because of the fora! I think the reality is dead on! The fora at large is a waste of time on this site. The majority of people on this site do NOT COME IN HERE! I'm fishing in a low stocked pond in here! Mostof the men are out there...not in here! What the heck are we doing ladies? Quit coming in here! For that matter gentlemen... you need to quit too! The majority of women are NOT IN HERE! They are out there... learning about the site. They hardly even are aware of this facet! I think Victor is dead on! If some guy I find OUT THERE wants to know me and how I think... HE can view my responses in here but I BET the guy who will be mine... isn't in here! HE IS OUT THERE IN THE SEARCHES LOOKING FOR ME WHILE I'M IN HERE WRITING IN THE FORA! Stupid Stupid Stupid!!!! the majority of my time... will NOT BE IN HERE! IT IS SIMPLY A WASTE OF TIME

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Loretta, Whatever you feel led to do is fine. theheart I am not in the habit of very black and white thinking especially regarding this topic of circulating to meet someone! Do your browsing and so on, and visit the forums. Post if you feel like it. Various things have worked for various people at various times. I don't think black and white thinking on the issue works for this, so I have never claimed to have a fixed unmovable opinion. Overall, I think we need to maintain openness and open our heart. Being closed and negative is not helpful.

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Dec 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Wendy-387654 said: Thank you Pat and Susie, for introducing me to this webzine. In today's day and ...
(Quote) Wendy-387654 said:


Thank you Pat and Susie, for introducing me to this webzine. In today's day and age, with so much toxic stuff on tv (at the movies) it's hard to find good, healthy, spiritual advice about who men should be, who women should be, what a marriage should look like, etc. Very helpful for not only myself, but for my teenage kids. Good stuff ladies.


From another article, one which I will share with my teenage son and daughters since there is such a need to help define what a Godly man looks like/acts like www.boundless.org


The Marks of Manhood:

When does a boy become a man? The answer to this must go far beyond biology and chronological age. As defined in the Bible, manhood is a functional reality, demonstrated in a man's fulfillment of responsibility and leadership.

With this in mind, let me suggest 13 marks of biblical manhood. The achievement of these vital qualities marks the emergence of a man who will demonstrate true biblical masculinity.

1. Spiritual maturity sufficient to lead a wife and children.

2. Personal maturity sufficient to be a responsible husband and father.

3. Economic maturity sufficient to hold an adult job and handle money.

4. Physical maturity sufficient to work and protect a family.

5. Sexual maturity sufficient to marry and fulfill God's purposes.

6. Moral maturity sufficient to lead as example of righteousness.

7. Ethical maturity sufficient to make responsible decisions.

8. Worldview maturity sufficient to understand what is really important.

9. Relational maturity sufficient to understand and respect others.

10. Social maturity sufficient to make a contribution to society.

11. Verbal maturity sufficient to communicate and articulate as a man.

12. Character maturity sufficient to demonstrate courage under fire.

13. Biblical maturity sufficient to lead at some level in the church.

--hide--

Awesome Wendy... Bow Thanks so much for posting this...

I would love to see a similar list citing the points for biblical womanhood. This is so good to ponder... rose

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Dec 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Mary-25961 said: Welcome back Patrick Your positive attitude will win our hearts A wise priest one gave me a...
(Quote) Mary-25961 said:



Welcome back Patrick Your positive attitude will win our hearts A wise priest one gave me a bit of advice "much depends on your point of view"

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laughing ...sarcasm,.. I like it!

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Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said:
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

--hide--

> ThIS SHOWS HOW inappropriate Victors comment is- if it gets persons to say they are not returning. THIs is NOT OK. NOT OK. NOT!!!!!

My initial reading of Loretta's response, which is supported by her response to the post I am now responding to, she said she wasn't coming back because she agreed with Victor's position, not because she was offended by anything he wrote.

Assuming for the sake of discussion someone did take offense at Victor's response and state they were never returning to the forum because of it, would that be de facto proof that Victor's comment was inappropriate, as is suggested in the statement quoted above?

The answer to this is "no". When one person takes offense at a statement made by another, the offense may occur because of an objectively offensive element in the original statement, an unreasonable interpretation by the person offended, or both. Both sides must be evaluated in order to objectively evaluate the situation.

To the point of Victor's statement: while I question his assertation regarding the relative success of forum and non-forum participants in finding potential mates on the site and I am not certain I agree with him on the extent to which some of the remaining observations apply to the forum participants, I feel there is a good deal of merit to his observations. And while I wouldn't suggest that people stop contributing to the forums, I think many would do well do seriously reflect on his comments.

> Where are the moderators? HOW MANY DO WE NEEED?

No one, including yourself, reported Victor's post. The moderators do not read every post in every forum topic, nor can the be expected to, If anyone encounters a post they feel should be evaluated, please use the "Report Post" link on the bottom left side of the screen just under the post. If you are viewing in flat mode (where multiple posts are displayed at one time), please be sure to use the Report Post link for the post you are reporting, not the one below it or the last one on the page! Also, when reporting something as offensive, please try to explain which part of the post you find problematic. In some cases it can be difficult to identify what someone finds offensive in a long post when there are no details.

While sometimes it helps to send one of the moderators a message as a heads-up there is a post to look at (we may see the message before we see the flag that there is a reported post, as the latter does not beep or blink to catch our attention, it can be difficult to identify the post of concern based on the description in a message; the Report Post feature provides a link directly to the reported post.

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Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: We're so beat up from the hiding you women give us when we do approach. You ladi...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


We're so beat up from the hiding you women give us when we do approach. You ladies have succeeded at cowing us, so we back off.


Help us out. If you're interested in a guy LET HIM KNOW. We're clueless. You'll wither on the vine waiting for him to realise you like him and come after you.

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Dating is like dancing a Tango. Really, the comparison is excellent. You can be less clueless if you follow your dancing steps.

Some of the best Tango partners are the ones who give a hint before they plan to move (guys), then actually take a
well defined step in a logical direction. The guys whose steps aren't crisp and clear tend to mess up on the dance floor, and in the dating arena.
Then, the women, in turn, if she is willing to "dance", will take a step in concert and in the same direction. His feet and hers should be moving seemlessly together.

Since I got divorced I have been on any number of dates, and I have heard a million and one stories. Most of the bad dating stories come down to a guy not taking clear cut, logically advancing steps, and the women not deciding to either step with him or sit that dance out.
Dating: it's all about the dance.


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Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: > ThIS SHOWS HOW inappropriate Victors comment is- if it gets persons to say they are ...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

> ThIS SHOWS HOW inappropriate Victors comment is- if it gets persons to say they are not returning. THIs is NOT OK. NOT OK. NOT!!!!!

My initial reading of Loretta's response, which is supported by her response to the post I am now responding to, she said she wasn't coming back because she agreed with Victor's position, not because she was offended by anything he wrote.

Assuming for the sake of discussion someone did take offense at Victor's response and state they were never returning to the forum because of it, would that be de facto proof that Victor's comment was inappropriate, as is suggested in the statement quoted above?

The answer to this is "no". When one person takes offense at a statement made by another, the offense may occur because of an objectively offensive element in the original statement, an unreasonable interpretation by the person offended, or both. Both sides must be evaluated in order to objectively evaluate the situation.

To the point of Victor's statement: while I question his assertation regarding the relative success of forum and non-forum participants in finding potential mates on the site and I am not certain I agree with him on the extent to which some of the remaining observations apply to the forum participants, I feel there is a good deal of merit to his observations. And while I wouldn't suggest that people stop contributing to the forums, I think many would do well do seriously reflect on his comments.

> Where are the moderators? HOW MANY DO WE NEEED?

No one, including yourself, reported Victor's post. The moderators do not read every post in every forum topic, nor can the be expected to, If anyone encounters a post they feel should be evaluated, please use the "Report Post" link on the bottom left side of the screen just under the post. If you are viewing in flat mode (where multiple posts are displayed at one time), please be sure to use the Report Post link for the post you are reporting, not the one below it or the last one on the page! Also, when reporting something as offensive, please try to explain which part of the post you find problematic. In some cases it can be difficult to identify what someone finds offensive in a long post when there are no details.

While sometimes it helps to send one of the moderators a message as a heads-up there is a post to look at (we may see the message before we see the flag that there is a reported post, as the latter does not beep or blink to catch our attention, it can be difficult to identify the post of concern based on the description in a message; the Report Post feature provides a link directly to the reported post.

--hide--


I realize she agrees with him now but at first I did not realize what had happened or if something new had happened. In any case I was sad about the negativity which came up in this thread. My connection to the forums has been less as well as less carefully read, hence my misunderstanding. I did nto like to see the negativity pick up speed like a runaway train in this thread and that was what I thought was over the top and inappropriate. However, I think that the forums have helped a lot of people in various ways.

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