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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

12/09/2012 new

(Quote) Patrick-235584 said: I don't think it's so much as were clueless, as we're just plain tired of ...
(Quote) Patrick-235584 said:



I don't think it's so much as were clueless, as we're just plain tired of being told to pound sand because of some stupid superficial reason. Which plays heavily on our confidence. (which for some odd reason, women supposedly like)

--hide--


Okay, I am clueless here. Patrick, can you give me ideas of what you mean?

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12/09/2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 If you sense an attitude that disregards your safety and comfort, You need to go with that.
(Quote) Marian-83994


If you sense an attitude that disregards your safety and comfort, You need to go with that.

In one case a few years back, I was asked to meet someone halfway. I did not get a good feeling from this request because the halfway point was not the greatest place in the state. I decided to move on and not look back for this and several other reasons. On the other hand, if I establish a vibrant friendship over the phone with a guy and I feel very good about it- It is conceiveable I might- In most or all cases, "the man should apply the LIONS SHARE of EFFORT in the beginning."

The above is a quote by a long time male member who I hold very dear. The safety of the woman is of prime importance. I have learned this after MY OWN reaching out too far and being willing to fly to an agreed upon city when I did not know a man well. NOT a good idea. I was then at the mercy of his RENTAL car, the desert, and my hotel and the far far distance we were from the larger UNKNOWN BY ME town we both flew into. I do not recommend that women do what I did in this case or cases anything resembling this. NOTHING HAPPENED BUT I KNEW I WAS AT RISK. I would nto repeat that for any reason. Hence I have never agreed to do that again. A fellow male and beloved CMer was jealously recounting how I did this and how RISKY it was to do so. NEVER DO WHAT I DID. JUST SAY to yourself that YOU ALREADY LEARNED IT.

--hide--

I am so glad you are okay.



Chivalry IS still alive and well. So many men are gentlemen and many others will act like one if that is our expectation. I think ladies can have a tremendous impact on the world-we can inspire greatness by loving ourselves and others.

I love the "Lions Share" quote! We can inspire them to do so by our qualities.

I want to add here that a man who acts like a gentleman, who is 'safe' for a woman, is wonderful and I find men like that inspiring!

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12/09/2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I gave an example of how I was able to show warmth and interest without being pushy...rig...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



I gave an example of how I was able to show warmth and interest without being pushy...right here in this thread, but I said that I only know the man likes me as a friend because I am trying to shield myself from any hurt feelings. I will like him as my good friend either way. I have to look beyond and see if God wants it or not and remain open. For those who are fearing rejection, making a friend is often more sound and then keeping that friend if the romance is not what opens up is the best way to go. After all creating COMMUNITY is very important for us as CATHOLICS. It takes generosity of spirit and and open heart to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY and to look for those opportunities to show love. THIS week I will be baking some cookies and offering them as gifts of love to men and ladies who I know and love unconditionally. I apologise because I have not had the energy or time to do a cookie thread here in a long while. I have had too many burdens to look after. It just takes too much time and work to do that BUT THAT is one way to open channels of unconditional love and friendship here. We need to be warm and fun loving and we DO have that capacity here on CM and in the forum. We have seen it in the past- so those who were hurt by this thread or other threads nearby, Please take heart- WE are a positive group of people and community!!

--hide--
Marian -- this is what we need to help set the tone of this thread back to where it should be -- civil and courteous. Many people think of some of the regular fora participants as "family". Yes, occasionally family members occasionally squabble, but they're still family. I'm hoping we can all overcome the negative and acidic comments that were made here, and get back on track.

This is Advent -- a time when we should be pondering the great event of Jesus' birth, not knocking others down. It should be a time of peace.

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12/09/2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Marian -- this is what we need to help set the tone of this thread back to where it should be -- ci...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Marian -- this is what we need to help set the tone of this thread back to where it should be -- civil and courteous. Many people think of some of the regular fora participants as "family". Yes, occasionally family members occasionally squabble, but they're still family. I'm hoping we can all overcome the negative and acidic comments that were made here, and get back on track.

This is Advent -- a time when we should be pondering the great event of Jesus' birth, not knocking others down. It should be a time of peace.

--hide--


I am a very new member but I cannot adequately express how much the forums and smiles and rosaries have helped me. I feel connected to a wonderful group of people who love Our Faith and I smile when I think of this site. Here is to wonderful friends who can help me grow...Thank you.

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12/09/2012 new

(Quote) Bob-59786 said: Thank you Ray. These opportunities don't occur often but I'm getting much better at recogniz...
(Quote) Bob-59786 said:

Thank you Ray. These opportunities don't occur often but I'm getting much better at recognizing them.

The way a woman maintains eye contact in a F2F conversation (something not occurring online) is key, and if she wants the conversation to continue. I saw that after Church last Sunday when talking w/ a young woman I met at Church over 3 years ago. She and I have maintained our friendship for 3 years, and many times we attend Mass together. I'm afraid she's too young to be a serious Potential but she's still a woman and I've verified from her when to recognize reaching a woman's soul.

When I'm fortunate to reach a woman's soul in the very strong eye contact during an intellectual conversation, it doesn't get any better than that.

That's why, at my age, I'm not giving up on finding a wife.

--hide--
That's the spirit, Bob!!! We're glad you're thinking is positive. Even if there is a considerable age difference, you never know when a person might have a relative or friend you would enjoy meeting.

At your age, your potential is still excellent. Dating and relationships are very, very possible. Success stories are found every day with people in their 70's, and 80's, and a few in their 90's.

Time is on your side.

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12/09/2012 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: (Quote) Ray-566531 said: Marian -- this is what we need to help set the tone...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said:

Quote:
Ray-566531 said:

Marian -- this is what we need to help set the tone of this thread back to where it should be -- civil and courteous. Many people think of some of the regular fora participants as "family". Yes, occasionally family members occasionally squabble, but they're still family. I'm hoping we can all overcome the negative and acidic comments that were made here, and get back on track.

This is Advent -- a time when we should be pondering the great event of Jesus' birth, not knocking others down. It should be a time of peace.



I am a very new member but I cannot adequately express how much the forums and smiles and rosaries have helped me. I feel connected to a wonderful group of people who love Our Faith and I smile when I think of this site. Here is to wonderful friends who can help me grow...Thank you.

--hide--


Meg I hope you will always feel this way here.
Marian

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12/09/2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: I gave an example of how I was able to sh...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



I gave an example of how I was able to show warmth and interest without being pushy...right here in this thread, but I said that I only know the man likes me as a friend because I am trying to shield myself from any hurt feelings. I will like him as my good friend either way. I have to look beyond and see if God wants it or not and remain open. For those who are fearing rejection, making a friend is often more sound and then keeping that friend if the romance is not what opens up is the best way to go. After all creating COMMUNITY is very important for us as CATHOLICS. It takes generosity of spirit and and open heart to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY and to look for those opportunities to show love. THIS week I will be baking some cookies and offering them as gifts of love to men and ladies who I know and love unconditionally. I apologise because I have not had the energy or time to do a cookie thread here in a long while. I have had too many burdens to look after. It just takes too much time and work to do that BUT THAT is one way to open channels of unconditional love and friendship here. We need to be warm and fun loving and we DO have that capacity here on CM and in the forum. We have seen it in the past- so those who were hurt by this thread or other threads nearby, Please take heart- WE are a positive group of people and community!!


Marian -- this is what we need to help set the tone of this thread back to where it should be -- civil and courteous. Many people think of some of the regular fora participants as "family". Yes, occasionally family members occasionally squabble, but they're still family. I'm hoping we can all overcome the negative and acidic comments that were made here, and get back on track.

This is Advent -- a time when we should be pondering the great event of Jesus' birth, not knocking others down. It should be a time of peace.

--hide--


Thank you Ray. I hope we can have the peace that is part of the season. ..and the Reason for the season.. Dove

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12/09/2012 new



Here is a little article that supports men doing the initiating. By and large, most people don't want to change who proposes.





now.msn.com

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12/09/2012 new

For Ray, Marian, Leon and those that have reminded us that there are still gentle men and gentle women in these fora, thank you! I'm often surprised that on a dating site there are those that do not even appear to like the opposite sex. I like harmony, I seek peace, I crave togetherness and just want everyone to act and talk kindly to each other.

It is everyone's perogative to disagree, but one doesn't have to be a bully when stating opposition.

I tend to not play games. If I like someone, I'll compliment them. Sometimes it is flirting, sometimes it is just to let them know they are valued. I asked one person for a f2f and it felt oddly out of place. I was shut down, albeit in a kind way. It didn't mean an end to our conversations, I just felt like I was put in my place and will wait for him to act. The more I have learned that this is God's plan for men, the more it makes sense.

I never have much thought of a man leading because I always figured it is what they do. I am happy to follow their lead. As a single parent, I am called to step up and be a strong leader. It's not something I am comfortable with, but it is necessary. I've read "War on Men" where the inference is that women, by redefining our roles in society, are leaving men in the lurch. Here we are begging for men do what has been traditionally part of their personna and we're being attacked.

If a man has experienced being asked out by a woman, how did it go? How did it feel? That would be helpful information to me.

Because we are only a picture on a screen, we are easy to be ignored, cut off, overlooked or at times entertained. Unless someone takes the initiative to put a voice and a face to that picture, it appears real manners don't necessarily apply.

I like these forums. I like the opinions and the interactions. I like the people I "meet" on here. I think we just need to remember why we joined in the first place.

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12/09/2012 new

(Quote) Leon-593843 said: Ray,............and a blessed Advent to you. Once again, you have shared a...
(Quote) Leon-593843 said:



Ray,

............and a blessed Advent to you.

Once again, you have shared a five-star post. In our generation, it is was the norm rather than the exception for the guy to ask the girl for a date. I still believe that way but would not mind if it happened the other way.

I don't wear my feelings on my sleeves. As such, I don't fear or allow fear from going forward. If she says no, that is her right. If she says no to a date, don't live in a closet or bury yourself in a hole. The sun may not shine today but will tomorrow. Although I have not seen statistics, I would think men in general get more rejections than yes answers unless you look like Rock Hudson or Justin Beaver. Before I can expect to find the "right person", I first need to be the "right person". I need to be the person described in my profile and what I post in the forums. Sometimes, we need to do a self-analysis. If I were a woman, would I date me? Women may not like what you post but will respect you if they feel you are genuine.

Finally as Ray states, stop the negativity, the back-biting and the horrible comments. Quit the mud-slinging. There is always a professional way to disagree. Stop the ego trips. Don't post one way in the general forums and then slam the opposite gender in the private rooms. Men, be the person when you ask for the second, third and fourth dates she sayes, yes, yes, yes.

Just my opinion.

Blessings,

Leon

--hide--
Leon what a bright shining star you are - if I didn't have a RIP (relationship in progress) and you were ten years younger - well you know the drill hug hersheyskiss hug

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