(Quote) Ray-566531 said:
First of all, a blessed Advent to all of you.
Is the dating world that scary that guys can't risk rejection? Should guys shirk away from dating because of one or more rejections, or should we try to develop thicker skins? Can't the ladies drop a subtle hint that they are interested in someone, then hope he is available and picks up on your clue(s)?
A lot of posts contain elements of truth -- some more; some less. Because we are each unique, we think differently. What seems obvious to one might be unclear to another. It seems much has been spoken from the personal experience point of view, which can easily be a distortion from the big picture.
From my own experience and observation, many people set themselves up for failure (both genders). They complain and blame others when some introspection would go far in solving the problem. If we take a good look at ourselves, we have to ask if we're good dating material. Have you asked yourselves if you would ask yourself out? Attitudes vary, of course, but some people seem prone to negativity -- as is evident here. From some personal experiences working with Catholic Singles locally, I dealt with some people who were just dour, bitter, angry at the world -- in other words, just plain unhappy. But...to them, their attitude is the "correct" one; they think everyone should think as they do. Ain't gonna happen, folks. A defeatist attitude isn't likely to produce positive results. After those episodes, I walked away thinking "No wonder they're single." Sad.....
We can't truly know success unless we have known failure. With failure, we can either dust ourselves off and start again, or feel that the world is against us and the effort isn't worth it. Unfortunately, many equate rejection with failure. Far from it. While I believe there is more than one person who would make an ideal mate, I know that not everyone would. Trial and error. You can't win unless you play the game.
There have been some acidic and inflammatory comments made in this thread which disappoints me. We are not expounding wisdom by doing that -- we are insulting and demeaning others. Can you imagine Jesus, considering Who He is, and how He must have felt during His days on earth?
There are some similarities between online dating and real-life situations. We experience rejections in both. Just because we're online doesn't mean we can now sit back and hope someone will notice us. Efforts still have to be made to have us noticed by others. If people haven't utilized all of the CM features and offerings, then perhaps those people unknowingly want to set themselves up for failure. It's easier to blame something superficial or imaginary for this.
Who cares who makes the first move? And what kind of "move" are we talking about? In the case of men, can it be as simple as a woman initiating an innocent conversation in the hope of having her interest be noticed? Or are we talking about women actually asking men for a date? Quite a contrast with those extremes, but something to consider, especially for people who cling to the so-called "old-fashioned" way of doing things. Nothing wrong with that, but then what you want to have happen won't.
Marriage involves each person using his and her gifts for their betterment and salvation. So does dating -- if someone isn't being reluctant or stubborn.
Rodney King may not have been a model citizen, but he professed great wisdom with his simple question: "Can we all get along."
Once again, a blessed Advent to all of you.