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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Personally, I have seen a high degree of success among forum posters meeting in here ...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


Personally, I have seen a high degree of success among forum posters meeting in here and getting married.. Much of my list in the Wedding Prep room were Forum posters unless the names were given to me by a family member.. I much prefer to communicate with other posters.. Communicating with those that don't is like meeting somebody in the grocery store to me.

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I never said there weren't successful relationships that began in the fora. What I am saying is that the public exposure and celebration of these successful relationships have created the perception that those who involve themselves in the fora experience a much greater degree of success on this site. However, reality states differently. Read the "success story" blogs. The far majority of those stories are of couples who did not involve themselves in this fora. And, if you read the actual stories, many of the now-married women in these stories, because of their circumstances of their relationships and the work involved, would have been mercilessly pounded during the time of their courtship had they lived their relationships in this fora and among some of the people here.


theheart

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Dec 7th 2012 new
Thank you Pat for posting this great topic. My experience has been that generally if I initiate contact, it goes nowhere. I've always known deep down in my heart that the man for me, is a man who is bold and knows what he wants and goes for it....he won't let the fear of rejection stop him because that kind of man has the self confidence to know that if a woman rejects him, it's not the end of the world and he will dust himself off and set his sights on the next woman that he finds attractive. That being said, the woman needs to respond in a charitable way, recognizing the courage it takes to initiate contact. Just my 2 cents.
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Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) BIll-154597 said: Several men felt that just asking out a woman could demand your status in your church to the point...
(Quote) BIll-154597 said:

Several men felt that just asking out a woman could demand your status in your church to the point of needing to leave that church.

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This is to educate. That is my main point of my earlier post in this thread. There is a shake-up in the social dynamics when a rejection is given. For me, the response I get after the rejection is used to judge if I want to remain in that group. I have lived in seven cities/towns in the last seven years mainly socializing with catholic groups. I do not date if I know I will be leaving the area within a year or so. Test your friends early. If I get rejected, then I no longer am invited to outings then I know that I do not belong to the group - thus it is a rejection by more than the lady....which is fine, that is the cost of the possibility of marrying a woman that walks with the fragrance of Christ for the troubles of this world do not compare to the joys of heaven. Amen.

Second, (I do not mind writing this since I am confident no lady in my area will read this :)). If a woman nicely rejects me, and may be is friendly than I will attempt to have her meet one of my friends. I am able to transition in that manner. The last city I inhabited witness me getting a rejection, but I went into planning mode to arrange cooked dinner inviting her, one of her single friends, and two of my single cave-dwellers, which the women have not met in town. Why not?

Is it not easier to meet someone while in a group than alone? I seek to build a group such that the women are confident to flirt with her man friends near since I am attractive to such a group so to ask a woman for a date. If the men do not accept/notice/engage in converstation with "the new kid in town" it appears to me the women in the group see that the new kid should be avoided. If the women are not getting the social graces from the men (compliments, encouragement to socialize, autonmny) then the woman seek the traits of a mysognist for her rescue...from what I have witnessed in these cities/towns.

Many times I thought of asking a date from a woman only to be considering another at that time. Thus, I am waiting on the progress of that pursuit. However, if a woman gives me some blatent signals (I am blind to many) then I forget about whats-her-name. May you read this in good spirits and among friends.

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Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: It takes quite a bit of time and so I wouldn't want to talk to only one. I'm really puzzled on thi...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said: It takes quite a bit of time and so I wouldn't want to talk to only one. I'm really puzzled on this one but not sure I'm accurately conveying my point.
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Around 2006, I wrote a Topic about having Reserves for when your Number One tells you bye-bye. Within the topic I was put down big-time but also rec'd email from CM women telling me I was right. We need to have reserve potentials should our Number One pursuit leave (which occurs many times).

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Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Leon-593843 said: (Quote) Nancy-632072 said: (Quote) Leon-593843 said:
(Quote) Leon-593843 said:

Quote:
Nancy-632072 said:

Quote:
Leon-593843 said:



Ms. Nancy,

OH!! What tangled webs we weave. You piranha you. You all want dates and then when the evening is over, we don't care to walk you to the door. Throw us to the ground and then step on our privates. What's up with that? I can communicate it is just some speak a different dialect of English. Listen to David. He knows the score.

For the newer posters, Nancy and I at times just jive with each other. It is all in fun, nothing serious, nothing bad intended.

That being said, how are you doing? Any dates this weekend? Coming to Texas soon or Houston? I am still here. Remember what David said about the vine!!!

I wish you a great weekend.

Your grandpa down south,

Blessings always,

Leon




Hi Leon

Exactly !!

I am doing great - yee haw. No dates this weekend - going to a dinner tonight with my singles group. Tomorrow I am going to the Daughtry concrt with a girlfriend and working at GAP Kids on Sunday. Two months from today I am heading to Tampa ticket is bought to see and meet in person one of the most handsome, kind and loving man I have met on CM. I think I will make a paper chain and take a link off each day until I only have one left. Leon I think you need to go into the man cave and straighten these guys out on here - tell them to get with the program.

So Leon - having any luck out there in the dating world or are the wimmins the same as the others (boys are smelly).

Love and 's from Minnesota
Fancy




Hello Ms. Fancy Nancy,

Sounds as if you have a fun weekend planned. My gosh, already have a date scheduled two months in advance? Am I hearing the words Valentine's Day? Be sure and post photos of your ring.

I am afraid some mens in the Cave are beyond my scope of understanding. You know how some of these guys are - some have never been married but claim to know the score.

Me personally - I have been called many things but never smelly. About a month ago, went to a brunch after Sunday Mass from a lady at church. I then discover she has not applied for an annulment and you know this guy does not go there. Heck, I might fall in love and have to be married in a Protestant church. Not for this Texan. Truth be known - I am not as popular as you. You have a better looking hairdo and facial features. However, I am the eternal optimist. I prayer to God for many things but when it comes to finding someone, He expects me to get my butt in gear and get to looking. Unlike animals, He gave each of us a brain to think with and make wise choices. He has bigger things to consider other than finding a mate for this Texan. I will keep looking. Maybe even find someone in H town.

In the meantime, I am going to deliver my profile to some of the administrators of the assisted living areas and see if I get any takers.

Enjoy your weekend and glad to hear you are so upbeat.

Love and hugs from grandpa,

Leon

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Leon,
Your post is Hilarious!! Good luck in your search

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Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) BIll-154597 said: Another factor for a man, is trying to initiate worth it? In some cases, it is not just a turn dow...
(Quote) BIll-154597 said:

Another factor for a man, is trying to initiate worth it? In some cases, it is not just a turn down but a woman may have to tell people and justify her decsion by listing the negative things about the man. I was reading an article about why men will not date women at the church that they attend. This church was Presbyterian but could apply to Catholic Parishes. Several men felt that just asking out a woman could demand your status in your church to the point of needing to leave that church.

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Wow, that is harsh Bill. But you have a point. My sister was dating a man and they would attend church together. She
really liked that church but said she would feel funny going back there not because of bad vibes between them but that it
belonged to him. Huummmm....something to think about.

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Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: (Quote) Linda-624584 said: After reading all the negative remarks in this...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:

Quote:
Linda-624584 said:

After reading all the negative remarks in this thread, (men & women) I think it would truly be a miracle if ANYONE on here ever communicated with each other, much less get a date.

As I posted in another thread (Single Life) I am by nature a VERY positive upbeat person, but I must say all this negativity by both genders leaves me feeling very discouraged that anything positive will come from my membership on CM.



While the fora serve a useful communal and social purpose it's no secret that those who participate in the fora on a regular basis, as opposed to those who do not, experience a much lower rate of success in finding a potential mate than those who do not. Personally. in the 3 years that I've been on this site, I've seen more done in this fora that discourages people to pursue relationships than encourage, particularly when directed at new members/posters.


Let's face reality here for a minute. By and large, aside from the prayer room, this fora is an incubator of negativity, bitterness, and anger. Very little in the way of positive expression permeates itself in this place anymore. In many cases those who attempt to inject positivity in here are quickly ganged-up on and completely run over by those who use the fora as their personal shooting range.


For some who post in here, and have for years, the fora has become their bad marriage. As unfortunate and unfair as that comparison may seem, the parallels are striking. They're unhappy with their present state and surroundings, but either cannot or will not do what is necessary to improve their circumstance. Rather, they project their unhappiness unto everyone who crosses their paths. I hard for these people because they've been so unhappy for so long that they don't even recognize it anymore.


Just my

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Wow Victor! It is really sad to hear that you feel there are so many embittered CM members on the forums. It was disheartening to hear that you view many CMers who frequent the Forums as negative folks who shoot down the ideas of those who post positive ideas. Perhaps that is why so I have noticed many posts of people mentioning they have been on CM a decade or more!! Who wants to be in a relationship with someone negative?

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Dec 7th 2012 new

Unfortunately, Kris, he is right. From what I have seen, the BULK (not all) of the couples have not frequented the forum, or were not here long. Donna mentioned it as well. The people who are here to get married, are truly serious about it, find their match and leave. We all notice the bitterness and anger here. Following a divorce or the loss of a spouse through death, anger is normal. It needs to pass though. Just my opinion.

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Dec 7th 2012 new

Bill,

Please tell the older men it's ok for older women to make the initial contact. I have initiated contact on a number of occasions without any results. I do not know if it's because of my age group and possible mindset in that group that men feel they must make the first contact or if it is something in my profile? I would not make contact with someone and not respond back. What would be the point in that since I'm not on CM to sight-see.

I do tend to be direct and not a game player. If I've not been interested in a match, I do believe I've been kind and in that case, not so direct about my meaning, while giving a kinder reason and wishing them well. I don't believe this is dishonest I just don't want to hurt another person's feelings.

So women face rejection as well and all of us need to recognize this happens to both men and women.

Best to you,

wave

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Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) BIll-154597 said: It would make sense if you were very young but it seems that adult women should be able to do some...
(Quote) BIll-154597 said:

It would make sense if you were very young but it seems that adult women should be able to do some initiating.


To be honest, many women seem to enjoy the chance to turn a man down.

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Enjoy hurting people? Oh Bill...who are these horrid women? Any why would you or anyone else want to bother with them?


As a comparatively older woman, I find that while I can initiate a conversation, I prefer the man to take the lead. The older we are, the more old-fashioned we tend to be, I suppose. There are exceptions, I'm sure.



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