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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

12/09/2012 new

(Quote) Nancy-632072 said: oh good grief here we go with the height issue again - God does not make junk
(Quote) Nancy-632072 said:

oh good grief here we go with the height issue again - God does not make junk

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too bad,.. last I heard it was a free country.

12/10/2012 new

(Quote) Rae-242317 said: Hello! If you are looking for an idea for prayer, here are two: 1. Adoration in front of t...
(Quote) Rae-242317 said:

Hello! If you are looking for an idea for prayer, here are two:

1. Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

2. Mary, Undoer of Knots novena www.theholyrosary.org

Pax et bonum fellow introvert!
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Thanks Rae... I've been looking for that site...

His Peace theheart

12/10/2012 new

(Quote) Nancy-632072 said: (Quote) Patrick-235584 said: hey Carl,.. out of curiousity, how tall are you?
(Quote) Nancy-632072 said:

Quote:
Patrick-235584 said: hey Carl,.. out of curiousity, how tall are you?

oh good grief here we go with the height issue again - God does not make junk

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I rarely (read: never) look to celebrities as role models for relationships, but this height issue in the forums is a bit tiring. Am I the only one surfing the web who finds entertainment news like this? www.huffingtonpost.com


12/10/2012 new
(Quote) Angela-374523 said: I rarely (read: never) look to celebrities as role models for relationships, but this height issue...
(Quote) Angela-374523 said:




I rarely (read: never) look to celebrities as role models for relationships, but this height issue in the forums is a bit tiring. Am I the only one surfing the web who finds entertainment news like this? www.huffingtonpost.com


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again,.. last I heard, it's a free country, and I can say what I wish to say, so long as admin is ok with it. Also, the question was not directed to you, or Nancy, or any women on this site, it was only asked to Carl.
12/10/2012 new
and insinuated she should have an abortion...my mom was 41 when she had me...I kept my mouth shut. :)

[/quote]

Two things Micheala (beautiful name btw), first and foremost, I am sorry about the loss of your friend, suicide always leaves multiple victims, of this I have first hand experience, please email me if you ever want to talk. Second, don't keep your mouth shut, especially when what you have to say is so profound, and telling your moms neighbor that your mom was over 40 when she had you would have been appropriate, true, and a statement of your pro-life views. My older sister was always the quiet one, one day she just spoke her mind, and she hasn't stopped or apologized yet and she was in her 40's when that occurred.

And a world full of extroverts wouldn't be boring, it would be utter chaos!
12/10/2012 new

(Quote) Steven-381635 said: Hello, so I just wanted to ask this question and get some advice, so here it goes. So I have bee...
(Quote) Steven-381635 said:

Hello, so I just wanted to ask this question and get some advice, so here it goes. So I have been tossing around this idea in the back of my head for quite awhile, at first I just thought it was just me being me when I was in a bad mood. However, lately I have started to realize that it seems to be there quite a bit more. The idea is that I am just so introverted, that I cannot have a real relationship and that I should just stop looking and trying. Now before you all say hey whats with the pitty party just hear me out. I was bullied all the way up to high school this left without the ability to be able to socialize very well, especially amongst my peers. My parents liked to take me to their parties and such, so it is very easy to talk with people my parents age. Anyway back to what I was talking about, this has lead me to feel much more comforable when I am by myself, not out with others and especially when I am in a social/dating scenario. This has left me with the belief that dating and relationships are not for me, however, this is the conumdrum. My mind is saying this is better option. My heart, atlhough, feels this is not the case and continues to want me to try these types of things. Now to it's credit I have tried I have put myself out there many many times, I have definitely felt butterflies before, however, my introvertedness and social awkwardness has just messed it up. So much so that if I am lucky enough to go on a date or meet someone face to face, I can count on one hand the number of times I have had a date two.


So guess my question to all of you out there is how can I get my heart to agree with my mind? As I believe in doing so it will make me a much happier person. Thank you all, sorry if this is so long.

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I think many people were bullied as a child and are introverts...you may find a soul mate that can relate. I don't think you should give up trying because you are far too young to quit on yourself, so I can't telll you how to accept what you probably aren't supposed to just accept unless you do have a calling for celibacy. If you have a true calling for celibacy that is one thing, but if it is the result of the world and evil's influences that is another that you shouldn't just succomb too...instead seek healing because your calling may be for marriage and family. Someone suggested a book to me that I am finding very helpful called Praying the Rosary for Inner Healing by Father Dwight Longenecker. I highly recommend it to you.

12/10/2012 new

Hi Steven

Iam just visiting, so any interaction will have to be through this Forum
. I have not read through, so you probably have good insights already

so feedback is, You are already quite self aware, the thing will be to take a good look at where you are right now. How to merge mind and heart? well, it is first to acknowledge where you are at, your comfort level with being who you are. If not, what changes would you like to be, how much would you permit yourself to show the real you.
any relationship you make, weather being friends, seeking and building a Love relationship, it come to giving.

How much is given, at the end the choice is up to you, and how you account to God for using the gifts He's given to you.

Just some thought, and prayers, may God grace Holy Spirit guidance and wisdom in your life journey Praying


(Quote) Steven-381635 said: Hmm I think I made a mistake in what I was asking, I wasn't so much looking for how to get o...
(Quote) Steven-381635 said:

Hmm I think I made a mistake in what I was asking, I wasn't so much looking for how to get over the feeling. I was more so looking at how to embrace the feeling, and basically come to terms that I just shouldn't date. You make interesting points, but perhaps I should elaborate further in that I don't really socialize anywhere except aat church or school. Even when I do socialize it is not with people my own age (at church), and at school I only speak on school related subject material. I don't really venture outside of that area. Quite honestly other than that I do not really socialize with anyone else other than my family. My life is basically school, work, church repeat. Now, before you say I should get out more, I used to go out and do stuff like that but was always uncomfortable, and quite frankly it never really helped.

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12/11/2012 new
You're young, don't sweat it. As you grow older your outlook will change, give yourself space. Life will present all sorts of surprises and before you know it, you'll find yourself falling in love or joining up with the monks. Take it easy.
12/11/2012 new

Steven,

I haven't read the other responses, but, here is my take...

You are asking how to make your heart follow your mind - I think it is far too early in your life for you to make up your heart and mind about dating. Introversion is not the kiss of death in any social situation - I knew a very extroverted lady who married a painfully shy, introverted fellow and they worked well together. She kept him social and he kept her grounded. If your heart is not ready to give up on love, then don't give up!

12/11/2012 new

(Quote) Steven-381635 said: What is interesting to me, is I hear it will only get better a lot. It is actually not unlike th...
(Quote) Steven-381635 said:

What is interesting to me, is I hear it will only get better a lot. It is actually not unlike the resonse that I used to get when talking to people about this sort of thing, it can only get better. In reality I still am unable to look a women in the eye, I just look at the floor or above her or over the shoulder. So if that is what I am doing now at 25 years old, you would think that talking to them in a normal well adjusted way would take quite awhile long past 30, if at all. To respond to some other posts, I am the most comfortable by myself. When I am by myself I can't get hurt, which makes it a great feeling. With that now being said, my mind loves the feeling of not being hurt, but my heart wants to put itself out there without thinking. I prefer my rational mind to my heart, and am just looking for some make my heart follow my mind. As my mind is right, I don't want or need the type of emotions my heart is offering.

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There was a male saint who mortified his eyes by not looking at any woman's face, not even his mother.

When you say that you are unable to look a woman in the eye, you probably don't mean all women, as you are comfortable with your relatives and older people. I think rather than following the route of learned helplessness, you should be curious about what is going on subconsciously so that your actions are in alignment with your thoughts. Our personalities are like icebergs in that the subconscious would be the biggest part of the iceberg which is submerged and seemingly invisible. Some questions you might want to ask yourself are: What women do I most have difficulty looking at? Does beauty factor in? In other words, if the woman is not attractive, does that have any bearing on whether you can look at her or not? Age seems to have some relevance. Maybe ask yourself what age span of women do you have difficulty looking at? Maybe it is a relatively small population. If you do not face your fears, it is said that they may grow. If you do not feel very well on any given day, that can be an example of a distraction that can override fears that pale in comparison. Food is our biggest physical hunger so if you are really hungry for something to eat, and there is a gorgeous woman waiting for your order at the fast food restaurant, chances are that you would not care so much about what she looks like as having her process your order quickly and efficiently. So it is something that can be overcome if you have something more important to think about.

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