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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Chris-840826 said: In my dating experience, I have noticed that if a guy and a girl are friends for long enough, one...
(Quote) Chris-840826 said:

In my dating experience, I have noticed that if a guy and a girl are friends for long enough, one or both of them becomes happy in the complacency of their friendship and would not be open to turning their friendship into one that involved dating.
It seems to me that dating is something people only consider when they are first meeting a potential date. After that people categorize their friends as "oh, well apparently they are not interested so neither should I".

But what if due to other circumstances such as meeting someone at a time when you are not in the dating market or just simply didnt think about dating them right away but changed your mind later?

Particularly asking the women out there, if a guy who was a long time friend were to start being interested in dating you at a time when the two of you were both available to date, how can the "friendship complacency" be broken resulting in starting to date one another?

And to the guys, if you have been in a similar situation, have you ever asked out and then dated a "long time friend"? If so, how were you two able to make the transition?

--hide--
I have a couple of friends that the timing just hasn't been right with. If the timing were to change...I'd gladly open the door or knock on the door!

Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Chris-840826 said: In my dating experience, I have noticed that if a guy and a girl are friends for long enough, one...
(Quote) Chris-840826 said:

In my dating experience, I have noticed that if a guy and a girl are friends for long enough, one or both of them becomes happy in the complacency of their friendship and would not be open to turning their friendship into one that involved dating.
It seems to me that dating is something people only consider when they are first meeting a potential date. After that people categorize their friends as "oh, well apparently they are not interested so neither should I".

But what if due to other circumstances such as meeting someone at a time when you are not in the dating market or just simply didnt think about dating them right away but changed your mind later?

Particularly asking the women out there, if a guy who was a long time friend were to start being interested in dating you at a time when the two of you were both available to date, how can the "friendship complacency" be broken resulting in starting to date one another?

And to the guys, if you have been in a similar situation, have you ever asked out and then dated a "long time friend"? If so, how were you two able to make the transition?

--hide--



I think this works very well. Two people obviously like each other's company and enjoy being around each other. I know two different couples who are currently still happily together that began as friends first. What actually happened was the lady had to ask the guy out because he was completly clueless that she saw him as something more. So, if you want to do it, go for it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. And there is a chance the guy was just clueless and she has been hoping he would ask her out!

Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Chris-840826 said: In my dating experience, I have noticed that if a guy and a girl are friends for long enough, one...
(Quote) Chris-840826 said:

In my dating experience, I have noticed that if a guy and a girl are friends for long enough, one or both of them becomes happy in the complacency of their friendship and would not be open to turning their friendship into one that involved dating.
It seems to me that dating is something people only consider when they are first meeting a potential date. After that people categorize their friends as "oh, well apparently they are not interested so neither should I".

But what if due to other circumstances such as meeting someone at a time when you are not in the dating market or just simply didnt think about dating them right away but changed your mind later?

Particularly asking the women out there, if a guy who was a long time friend were to start being interested in dating you at a time when the two of you were both available to date, how can the "friendship complacency" be broken resulting in starting to date one another?

And to the guys, if you have been in a similar situation, have you ever asked out and then dated a "long time friend"? If so, how were you two able to make the transition?

--hide--


I have not experienced this change in a friendship but think it could be wonderful. I feel if a male friend suggested 'switching gears', it would take some time to look at that possibility but I would be very open to it. What a wonderful way to start a romantic relationship--as friends who already know and are comfortable and trusting of each other!

Dec 9th 2012 new
Ive actually had this experience. I had a male friend and we started off as friends due to circumstances and one day i decided hey why not take our friendship to the next level he agreed. We didnt work out. And unfortunetly we no longer are friends. But all in all i dont regret the experience. I would have wondered what if? I think that life is too short but take into consideration how your friendship will be affected if you guys dont work out. Good luck and god bless!
Dec 9th 2012 new

Everyone has a different take on this, and they are entitled to their views. My own approach to this is that yes, friendship between a man and a woman can indeed blossom into a romance if both are open to it.

Once you hit adulthood, and the idea of wanting to be married in the not-to-distant future enters the picture, relationships should have a deeper and mature meaning than just “I think you’re cute” and “It would be cool to go the senior prom with you because we would look really good together.” In a marriage, a husband and wife are partners in life and need to be on the same page on a lot of big issues like values, financial management, child rearing and so on. You have to be able to get along and not just make each other’s heart go pitter-pat.

On some level, a successful marriage requires a husband and wife to be best friends with all that goes with that, such as loyalty, having each other’s back and possessing a willingness to get through tough times.

Adding a romantic dimension to an existing friendship can be tricky, but some of the suggestions in the thread are good ones: offer to pay for dinner the next time you hang out, ask her to accompany you somewhere where it should be obvious that she is your date, such as a New Year’s Eve party, a banquet reception for something, a charity event, a dinner/dance, and take your cue from there. If she responds positively, you are adding a romantic dimension to the relationship. If the response is not positive, at least you know where she stands, and you can both decide where to go from there. Sometimes what you think is a friendship is actually just someone wasting your time, as sad as that sounds.

Dec 9th 2012 new

I think friendship is the best foundation for a good and lasting relationship. The biggest hurdle is being able to get out of the friend zone and move on to the next level. There's no other way to find out if it will work other than giving it a try. It's a tricky situation and I wish you the best buddy!

Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Chris-840826 said: And to the guys, if you have been in a similar situation, have you ever asked out and then dated ...
(Quote) Chris-840826 said:

And to the guys, if you have been in a similar situation, have you ever asked out and then dated a "long time friend"? If so, how were you two able to make the transition?

--hide--
To answer your question, yes, I've been there. It didn't work out as I am just her friend. First few weeks was awkward, that's for sure. But our friendship and, I guess, our maturity prevailed. We now look back at it as some sort of a private joke and we always get a good laugh out of it.

Dec 9th 2012 new

Thank you to everyone who has replied with their stories and opinions. It is an interesting read.

Dec 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Chris-840826 said: In my dating experience, I have noticed that if a guy and a girl are friends for long enough, one...
(Quote) Chris-840826 said:

In my dating experience, I have noticed that if a guy and a girl are friends for long enough, one or both of them becomes happy in the complacency of their friendship and would not be open to turning their friendship into one that involved dating.
It seems to me that dating is something people only consider when they are first meeting a potential date. After that people categorize their friends as "oh, well apparently they are not interested so neither should I".

But what if due to other circumstances such as meeting someone at a time when you are not in the dating market or just simply didnt think about dating them right away but changed your mind later?

Particularly asking the women out there, if a guy who was a long time friend were to start being interested in dating you at a time when the two of you were both available to date, how can the "friendship complacency" be broken resulting in starting to date one another?

And to the guys, if you have been in a similar situation, have you ever asked out and then dated a "long time friend"? If so, how were you two able to make the transition?

--hide--


Yes I would date a guy friend. I think in general it would be a great way to start a relationship.

Dec 9th 2012 new

Some men see a woman they are not attracted to and see her as a friend.

Some men may have other definitions for the word friend. Find out your friend's definition. Sometimes it is hard to find out.

I once dated a certain guy who never admitted to more than friendship, but paid for everything and was very kind. When I asked him about any feelings he told me he was afraid to lose the friendship if it did not work. We are friends still -but live so far away. We would now be best buddies, travel companions and share many interests. So we were able to keep that. I have no idea how he felt but his sister thinks I hurt him somehow or that he just would never say. There were times when we flirted... One time I broke down crying and tried to talk to him about it. He looked sad but nothing came of my talking and crying. It is tough, but we still are friends and would go do things in a second if we were in the same town. It can be tough.. But losing romance is sometimes too painful for two persons. So we still have our friendship.

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