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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Dec 12th 2012 new

No--it is what most women actually want anyway, at least for a time when their children are young.

There are so many ways to have your own business, work from home, etc. these days.

Dec 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker? How many of...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker? How many of you ladies want this to be your job? Do you want to have kids right away?

. . . I desire to have a well kempt household with all the fine womanly touches added to it, and an amazing wife/mother/homemaker, am I looking for a needle in a haystack?

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Hi Brian, here are my thoughts on your questions:

Q: Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker?

A: Of course it's okay! I was actually thinking about this topic this morning (on my way to work, hehe) about how managing a household is hard work, and requires a set of skills not all that different from a manager or employee in the paid workforce. Time management, prioritization, providing feedback, discipline, counsel -- those are all skills a good manager needs, but also a good wife/spouse. Just like it's okay for women to desire a husband and to be a wonderful mother, raising Christian children, it's perfectly alright (even wonderful) that men desire to have a traditional family. Of course the world tells us differently. However, in order to have a woman as you described, you must also strive to be the man who God calls you to be, loving your wife as the church, etc. (As a side note, I recently came across an article that describes a "Proverbs 32" man -- it's a compilation of scriptures, to compliment a Proverbs 31 woman). www.cmamen.org

Q: How many of you ladies want this to be your job? Do you want to have kids right away?

A: I personally struggle with this. I've been living as a productive adult on my own for over 8 years now, and have become successful in my career. I find fulfillment through my job, and a lot of personal satisfaction. Truth be told, it would be challenging for me to leave this behind. I do well, I feel great about my work, etc. I often think it would have been easier for me to do the "mom/wife" thing before I had a career--when I only had a "job", if that makes sense.

HOWEVER. God calls us to be sacrificial in order to follow him. I recently watched my best friend's 7 month old for an entire weekend. I learned a lot about myself that weekend, and I consider it to be a blessing. While I do enjoy my career, and it would be hard to give that up (and if we're being honest, the salary as well), and I would be giving up part of my identity as a career woman, that's what I desire in my heart. If I really, really listen to my heart and to the Lord, and set aside my fears or selfish desires--yes, I want to be a mom. I looked at that baby, and I could not imagine doing anything else.

That being said, I also do not think that it is wrong for a woman to do differently or want differently. I get pretty tired of stay at home moms judging working mothers, and working mothers judging stay at home moms. My goodness, we are all moms, trying to do the best we can to be a wife and mother to our family. In addition, there are plenty of families who simply cannot financially make the decision to have a single income.

(Obviously there are a lot of variables, I'm trying not to ramble.)\

Q: Do you want to have kids right away?

A: That's kind of a personal question, but yes.

Q: . . . am I looking for a needle in a haystack?

A: Yes, just like many of us women feel like we are looking for a needle in a haystack to find a wonderful, loving, generous, kind, moral, strong Christian man to lead us in marriage and in life. I many times think, "Where are all of the good men?" and I have to remidn myself that men are thinking the same thing about women. :)

I finally realized that I need to set aside my own worry/concern about "finding" something, by 1) living for today and what I am supposed to be doing NOW, 2) putting my trust in God that he will mold and shape me and my future husband and bring us together when the timing is right, and 3) I need to quit worrying about the future, because to do so is a direct sin against God, like me saying "I don't trust you to do what you promise, Lord."

Thanks for the question, Brian.

Dec 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Danielle-750102 said: I think if it's financial feasible someone should stay home with the kid...
(Quote) Danielle-750102 said:

I think if it's financial feasible someone should stay home with the kids but if not it possible it's not the end of the world. I'd like to stay home with my future offspring but financially I don't see that as possibly unless my future husband makes bank. Do I i want to start having kids 9 months after I get married? No, within the first 2 years yes.

--hide--

+1 biggrin

Dec 12th 2012 new

My daughter has Master degree in Chemistry and was workin for Dow chemical for 12 years in Research and Development. Dow eliminated R&D department. At the time my daughter was six months pregnant and was unable to go job hunting. It was not by choice that she became a stay at home mom but she loved it and is still a stay at home mom seven years later. She is an awesome Mother and Works part time at the YMCA teaching CPRand first aid. And she shares the child watch program. The kids are with her. She will probably want to get back in her field of Chemistry when the kids are in school. I admire her for doing this Full time Mom JOB.

Dec 12th 2012 new

I was a stay at home Mom for fifteen years. I Interrupted my nursing career to be home with my kids. I had four kids,and loved the years I was able to be with them. When I had empty nest ayndrome I took a refresher course in nursing and worked until I retired which was fifteen years later. I have no regrets. There are women who who want what you are offering. I bet it won't take long to find one either.

Dec 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: How many of you ladies want this to be your job?
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

How many of you ladies want this to be your job?

--hide--

I don't want it to be my "job," because it's a calling greater than any job out there!

Call me wacky, but I don't have the desire to seek validation or fulfillment outside of the home.

Dec 12th 2012 new
(Quote) Brian-144650 said: Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you dare...<...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you dare...

Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker? How many of you ladies want this to be your job? Do you want to have kids right away?


My position, I desire to have a stay at home mom who takes care of the house and helps raise the kids to be the best Catholic awesome kids ever. I desire to have a well kempt household with all the fine womanly touches added to it, and an amazing wife/mother/homemaker, am I looking for a needle in a haystack?

--hide--


If you can support her and the kids, I'm all for it bother!
Dec 12th 2012 new
wow Brian do I have the girl for you. Unfortunately she lives a little farther south than you, hmm I am going to take a look at your profile and see what I can cook up wink
Dec 12th 2012 new
(Quote) Sergio-566645 said: If you can support her and the kids, I'm all for it bother!
(Quote) Sergio-566645 said:

If you can support her and the kids, I'm all for it bother!
--hide--


Sorry, I meant "brother"!
Dec 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you dare...

Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker? How many of you ladies want this to be your job? Do you want to have kids right away?


My position, I desire to have a stay at home mom who takes care of the house and helps raise the kids to be the best Catholic awesome kids ever. I desire to have a well kempt household with all the fine womanly touches added to it, and an amazing wife/mother/homemaker, am I looking for a needle in a haystack?

--hide--



That's a great question. I think society as whole (and of course, the family, aka the "domestic Church") really benefits from women who stay at home and raise their children. I know I value a homemade meal and a tidy home more than a lot of other things in life. But, as my profile states, some women are truly called to work in specific vocations, and if that is the case, they need to do what God asks them to do. A mother can also show her children that there is good work outside of the home as well. Perhaps one of her many Catholic babies will be called to the religious or single life!

I would very much want to do this for the right man and also if we were able to live off of one salary and have children sooner rather than later. Also, I relish the idea of a small home business.

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