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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 12th 2012 new

No you are not looking for a needle in a haystack. You have come to the right place! Good for you! This is a great bold move. See who responds! heartbeat

Dec 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you dare...

Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker? How many of you ladies want this to be your job? Do you want to have kids right away?


My position, I desire to have a stay at home mom who takes care of the house and helps raise the kids to be the best Catholic awesome kids ever. I desire to have a well kempt household with all the fine womanly touches added to it, and an amazing wife/mother/homemaker, am I looking for a needle in a haystack?

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As Ella Fitzgerald once sang, "Nice work if you can get it..." It's a great goal if you can live within the means of the lifestyle you want.

Dec 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you dare...

Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker? How many of you ladies want this to be your job? Do you want to have kids right away?


My position, I desire to have a stay at home mom who takes care of the house and helps raise the kids to be the best Catholic awesome kids ever. I desire to have a well kempt household with all the fine womanly touches added to it, and an amazing wife/mother/homemaker, am I looking for a needle in a haystack?

--hide--




It is Catholic teaching that a woman should remain in the home. This is supported by Thomistic Philosophy. There is no prohibition for not being in the home. But, according to the doctors, it is usually venial due ignorance. It can be morally sinful if it is to obtain possessions unneccesary.


I forget exactly which virtue it violates. I do have this on authority from a seminary professor and priest with a double doctorate.

Dec 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you dare...

Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker? How many of you ladies want this to be your job? Do you want to have kids right away?


My position, I desire to have a stay at home mom who takes care of the house and helps raise the kids to be the best Catholic awesome kids ever. I desire to have a well kempt household with all the fine womanly touches added to it, and an amazing wife/mother/homemaker, am I looking for a needle in a haystack?

--hide--


The home is where the heart is. It is a full time job to run one and, especially to raise children. A husband to come home to a nurturing, relaxed, peaceful (and fun?!) nest is certainly understandable!

Dec 12th 2012 new

I believe it's every woman's right to be able to stay at home and care for the children, run the household, and is something that is greatly undervalued in today's society.... it's a job I would definitely love. Knowing that I would be able to make it to mass with my kids, maybe even having a weekly adoration hour if there was an adoration chapel close by. As for having kids right away, I would leave it in God's hands, not doing anything to interfere with the process but not worrying and saying "why haven't I had kids yet?" Children are a free gift from God's own heart and not a right to be taken. I don't think you're looking for a needle in a haystack, and I hope that you find what God wants for you. smile

Dec 12th 2012 new
(Quote) Brian-144650 said: Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you dare...<...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you dare...

Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker? How many of you ladies want this to be your job? Do you want to have kids right away?


My position, I desire to have a stay at home mom who takes care of the house and helps raise the kids to be the best Catholic awesome kids ever. I desire to have a well kempt household with all the fine womanly touches added to it, and an amazing wife/mother/homemaker, am I looking for a needle in a haystack?

--hide--
Hi Brian, no, you are not looking for a needle in a haystack. I believe that a catholic wife and mother puts family first and job second. If she requires to give up her professional life because it interferes with the balance and well being of her family, she would have no problem in doing so......this is my point of view and the way I was brought up in Mexico.
Dec 12th 2012 new

No Brian, it is not too much to ask. If I should be blessed with a loving spouse and children, I’d love to stay at home with the kids, at least while they are younger. There are so many ways to do this.

1) The wife can be a full-time stay-at-home Mom if the husband has a job that pays well and this is feasible financially. The problem with this in some cases is that in some big cities, a mortgage on a small house and one or two used cars can actually require a combination of two incomes. Financial problems are one of the main contributors to marital breakups, so both the husband and wife have to be realistic and on the same page about expectations and not blame each other if money is tight.

2) Which brings me to another way that a woman can be an at-home Mom for the kids and provide a welcoming home for her husband. Stay-at-home Moms have been contributing to the household income for generations, if not millennia, and this is not new, radical or some "weird feminist idea". In days of yore, a woman might sell extra butter, eggs, or preserves at the market, sell homemade pies, take in the laundry, or do mending and sewing for a fee or on a barter system, for example. In modern times, a woman can run a home-based business, do the accounting for the family business, or telework in her office job with computers, e-mail and the internet, all while spending the bulk of her time at home.

3) A woman who has earned a professional degree can take a leave of absence from an established career as a teacher, lawyer, nurse, doctor, or civil servant to stay home for her family and return to work either part-time or full-time when the children are older and more independent, or when appropriate.

It is with my third point in mind in particular, that I say this. Assumptions and ideals can get in the way of happiness. I have friends who swore they'd never resort to daycare. Then their only child was born, and there were no siblings, so they decided that part-time daycare would help with social interaction for their child. You can't be sure that you will have the 5 kids that you want. You may only have one, or you may not be able to have any.

Also, assuming that a woman does not want children or will not be a good wife because she has a career is a mistake. It is always a good idea to make sure that the particular ideal you have in mind of what your life will look like does not cause you to overlook or reject a nice Catholic woman who happens to work. There is nowhere where an adult woman can wait for free while a gentleman goes on the path of an education, training and establishing himself in a career so that he can support a family. There are no guarantees in life - it is possible that one’s dreams of marriage and family will not come to fruition. God does not look favourably upon idleness either.

Blessings in your search.

Dec 12th 2012 new

I go back and forth on this all the time. I have a teaching degree and I'm wondering if maybe I should homeschool my kids, if I have any. Then there are days where I want to have a career and stay at home with my kids during the summer, especially when my kids become school age. I think there are a lot of women who want to stay at home but feel they can't because of finances. However, God does provide. All you have to do is trust in God.

Dec 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you dare...

Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker? How many of you ladies want this to be your job? Do you want to have kids right away?


My position, I desire to have a stay at home mom who takes care of the house and helps raise the kids to be the best Catholic awesome kids ever. I desire to have a well kempt household with all the fine womanly touches added to it, and an amazing wife/mother/homemaker, am I looking for a needle in a haystack?

--hide--


As long as the husband can properly support the family, there should be no problem b/c taking care of a home IS a full time job. I know almost all of my friends would like to be a stay at home mom, but many women will not admit it to people outside of their inner circle. rolling eyes shhh

Dec 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

Do I live in a strange world, or do y'all think this is ok. Here's the question(s) if you dare...

Do you think it is ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom, who is a great homemaker? How many of you ladies want this to be your job? Do you want to have kids right away?


My position, I desire to have a stay at home mom who takes care of the house and helps raise the kids to be the best Catholic awesome kids ever. I desire to have a well kempt household with all the fine womanly touches added to it, and an amazing wife/mother/homemaker, am I looking for a needle in a haystack?

--hide--


I think it's great if a woman chooses to be housewife. I feel like there is a cultural comeback of the appreciation for homemakers, so I don't think you're looking for a needle in a haystack. But when you do find her, make sure you treat her like my grandfather treated my grandmother. He wrote poems about her to his dying day, often talking about how she would grace the home with her peace and tranquility. I think we need men who appreciate houswives, just as much as we need housewives.


As for me personally, I have no idea if that is something I want. I don't feel like I have a lot of control over it, to be honest, so I don't think about it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. With whatever happens, I know God will use me for how he sees fit.

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