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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Dec 25th 2012 new

(Quote) John-842063 said: ...but my class was taught that there was probably a two year difference between Mary and...
(Quote) John-842063 said:

...but my class was taught that there was probably a two year difference between Mary and Joseph...

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Most sources say (early Church fathers and Saints) that there was likely a 15 year difference between Mary and St. Joseph, but we have to admit there relationship was extremely special and different to what most of us will be experiencing in marriage (i.e. she remained a virgin).

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Dec 25th 2012 new

(Quote) Brendan-824174 said: I have come across many interesting profiles of women in their 20's and early thirties, and...
(Quote) Brendan-824174 said:

I have come across many interesting profiles of women in their 20's and early thirties, and was tempted to click on them just to read. I did not however because I did not want to creep anybody out. There are people out there that want to read different profiles to learn more about the opposite sex, so they can use the knowledge to help find a mate around their own age. Good luck in your search.

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Brendan, I think it's fine to look at different profiles - it's just looking. I even look at women's profiles but I am not seeking a realtionship with a woman. It's what's contained in the messages sent after that's likely the problem.

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Dec 25th 2012 new

We live in a great time. In the old days some religions would dictate what a woman could wear, the length of her hair, sometimes covering them up. Leaving only peephole from which to stare. Some were bought, some were sold. Couldnt do what you want, you were told.
Today you can do what you want & please, just choose wisely so you dont get an old dude, or an infectious disease.


www.youtube.com

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Dec 25th 2012 new

(Quote) Sergio-566645 said: (Quote) Marita-847688 said: I'm new to the fora. This is only my second post, b...
(Quote) Sergio-566645 said:
Quote:
Marita-847688 said:

I'm new to the fora. This is only my second post, but I have been on Catholic Match for a while. I am 27 years old and suddenly I feel really old because I keep getting views from older men. I don't mind a few (FEW is the key word) years up or down. I actually feel like I'm quite flexible. I'm willing to go down up to 4 years and up up to 5 years. I wouldn't mind going a few years older if he has some of the qualities in there I like to see. I'll admit lately most of the guys who I've viewed or have viewed have been in that range, but I'm tired of men in in their 40's trying to contact me. Call me shallow, but here's how I see it. If I were to contact him, I'm saying I'm willing to go up at least 13 years. Would this same 40+ year old man be willing to go up 13 years to 53? I'm thinking since he's contacting much younger women the answer is no. More often than not, men in my preference category 23-32 or 33 contact me, but I get creeped out when much older men try to contact me. Ever since I turned 27, I've surrendered my right to date men my own age. I've seen post after post of men saying they'd be willing to go down to women MUCH younger but only a couple of years older. Why the hypocrsy?

I've followed some posts in the fora before, so I know this is the same tune under a different name. I'm pretty sure who is going to respond to this post since I have browsed the fora several times.




This question relates to a problem I had once and posted up here. It was a bout a younger girl I was interested in but felt foolish approaching because of her age. What you say is exactly how I thought she would feel if I did, that is, "creeped out" and so I never made any attempt to speak to her. I think the reason some men prefer younger girls is that oftentimes, men who have never married don't really feel much different than when they were in their twenties and tend to think they still look the same! Also, a young girl who is single doesn't likely have a background. Divorced, grown kids, set habits etc. No offense to the older girls here, but I'm sure many unmarried women would feel the same way. I've learned however, that reaching too far down or too high up agewise in dating isn't generally a good idea unless you get "lucky" without trying.
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Men who think they have not aged are delusional. Just sayin'

I think men who are so consumed with looks, which is the main advantage of youth, will reap what they sow. They will see what they will get.

It's a Strange kind of denial they live with as their cuddly bedfellow, because we all age. But this shallow thinking is what dominates many men's minds in terms of finding any sort of life partner.

I think what we are reading here is the same message we have seen here for years. It is the same delusional mindset.

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Dec 25th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Men who think they have not aged are delusional. Just sayin'I think men who are so co...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Men who think they have not aged are delusional. Just sayin'

I think men who are so consumed with looks, which is the main advantage of youth, will reap what they sow. They will see what they will get.

It's a Strange kind of denial they live with as their cuddly bedfellow, because we all age. But this shallow thinking is what dominates many men's minds in terms of finding any sort of life partner.

I think what we are reading here is the same message we have seen here for years. It is the same delusional mindset.

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What I find interesting is that some insist on making blanket statements such as those above as if they speak for everyone. What is the justification for labeling others as delusional, shallow thinking, etc. because their preference don't match yours?

Some women don't wish to date men who are significantly older. That's fine -- they are certainly entitled to their preference.

However, there are women who don't mind. As an extreme example, consider Tony Randall and his second wife. Should they not have the option of dating older men if they wish?

Those with truly unreasonable expectations in their dating preferences will either eventually figure it out and adjust or they will not date. Either way, the problem is theirs. If they approach you, politely turn them down, just as you do when you aren't interested for any other reason.

If, on the other hand, their expectations aren't as unreasonable as others seem to believe, both they and the right person for them will end up being very happy.

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Dec 25th 2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Men who think they have not aged are delusional....
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

Men who think they have not aged are delusional. Just sayin'

I think men who are so consumed with looks, which is the main advantage of youth, will reap what they sow. They will see what they will get.

It's a Strange kind of denial they live with as their cuddly bedfellow, because we all age. But this shallow thinking is what dominates many men's minds in terms of finding any sort of life partner.

I think what we are reading here is the same message we have seen here for years. It is the same delusional mindset.


What I find interesting is that some insist on making blanket statements such as those above as if they speak for everyone. What is the justification for labeling others as delusional, shallow thinking, etc. because their preference don't match yours?

Some women don't wish to date men who are significantly older. That's fine -- they are certainly entitled to their preference.

However, there are women who don't mind. As an extreme example, consider Tony Randall and his second wife. Should they not have the option of dating older men if they wish?

Those with truly unreasonable expectations in their dating preferences will either eventually figure it out and adjust or they will not date. Either way, the problem is theirs. If they approach you, politely turn them down, just as you do when you aren't interested for any other reason.

If, on the other hand, their expectations aren't as unreasonable as others seem to believe, both they and the right person for them will end up being very happy.

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Did something I said upset you? I was expressing my sense of what I have watched going on through my many years of observing. Even in a "CAtholic setting men try to bring this into things.

OH I am certain people are making and will make adjustments of sorts. I have nothing against Tony Randall or any of those people who do that sort of coupling. It is their preference. I was just sharing what really goes through my mind for once.

I once dated a man 13 years older than me when I was 29. I think a lot of men just don't realize when they are not very attractive anymore. I had men 9 and 13 years older interested. At the time my thought was "So what."


Did anyone ever think that Prudence is knowing what is true?

It take some maturity for persons to face the truth in their lives. Tonay Randall had lot of things going for him and we all know what most women are marrying older men for. MONEY.

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Dec 26th 2012 new

Ha - it goes both ways. In October (?) I met a woman in the health clinic and asked her to lunch - NO romantic aspects whatever. She is classic midwest and fun. Here in the desert there are few like her. It was really enjoyable. In any event we met for supper once and coffee once. I was shocked to hear that she was 37. What dare I say about that? Subsequently she wrote email as if we were getting involved and she liked it. I have no idea what to do with that except withdraw. I thought she was in her 50's! I did not entertain marriage or anything like it with her. I simply enjoyed meeting another person from the midwest. (I prefer mature women coser to my age and energy level.)

However, several months ago due ot a match by machine, I found it really nice to meet one much younger woman on this website. She is a terrific catch if the younger guys will just talk to her and get to know her a little. I do wish the website made a clear choice for people to clearly state their preference in age. The matching feature seems blind to age as well in some of the "matches" for me. I don't mind too much but it does require closer reading. For me, it sounds strange I suppose, but I just want God to place me with the right woman for me, just one for all my life. There are many great women on this site, but I am really not into internet social things, especially with more intrusive searching going on by government.

I agree with the post by Angela, make a clear simple statement on age preference in your profile.

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Dec 26th 2012 new
John, I almost dropped my phone when I read that you thought this 37 year old was in her 50s!!!! BE STILL MY HEART! I think you have convinced me to heavily tip anyone who "cards" me.... Whew!
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Dec 26th 2012 new

(Quote) John-875120 said: Ha - it goes both ways. In October (?) I met a woman in the health clinic and asked her to lunch -...
(Quote) John-875120 said:

Ha - it goes both ways. In October (?) I met a woman in the health clinic and asked her to lunch - NO romantic aspects whatever. She is classic midwest and fun. Here in the desert there are few like her. It was really enjoyable. In any event we met for supper once and coffee once. I was shocked to hear that she was 37. What dare I say about that? Subsequently she wrote email as if we were getting involved and she liked it. I have no idea what to do with that except withdraw. I thought she was in her 50's! I did not entertain marriage or anything like it with her. I simply enjoyed meeting another person from the midwest. (I prefer mature women coser to my age and energy level.)

However, several months ago due ot a match by machine, I found it really nice to meet one much younger woman on this website. She is a terrific catch if the younger guys will just talk to her and get to know her a little. I do wish the website made a clear choice for people to clearly state their preference in age. The matching feature seems blind to age as well in some of the "matches" for me. I don't mind too much but it does require closer reading. For me, it sounds strange I suppose, but I just want God to place me with the right woman for me, just one for all my life. There are many great women on this site, but I am really not into internet social things, especially with more intrusive searching going on by government.

I agree with the post by Angela, make a clear simple statement on age preference in your profile.

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John, This was a fun post. Thank you for reminding us what meeting in real life might be like when you described the lady you met! Can you elaborate on what you mean by the govt being intrusive and searching us through the internet? Not that I am completely surprised but wow...

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Dec 26th 2012 new

(Quote) John-324285 said: Probably not, and I'll willingly admit (and probably be flamed for it) that I'm s...
(Quote) John-324285 said:

Probably not, and I'll willingly admit (and probably be flamed for it) that I'm selfish when it comes to procreation and would like to be able to father 5+ kids with whoever I marry. That said, if it is Gods plan that I marry someone significantly older than He will lead me to that. I also don't believe in a "one" and that there are many I could marry who would be "the one" I love for the rest of my life, and who I can have a sanctifying marriage with, so the odds that none of those "many" are in their 20's and in conformity with my desires is very low.

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Quite honestly, I'm selfish when it comes to procreation as well, and would like to be able to father at least two children, possibly more. I have tried dating women older than I am and it just doesn't work well for me. I am not really into women in their 20's, however. Around 30 (maybe 29 if they are quite mature) to 38 is my preferred age range. I know this will be controversial to say. I am ALSO willing to date women who already have a child or two IF there is no baby-daddy drama (i.e., the father is not involved OR the two parents are friendly and amicable in their relationship as parents). There is too much drama between fathers/ex-husbands in many cases from my observations and personal experiences. . . I seem to be most compatible with women about 4-5 years lower in age, which is not huge. Back in the day (I know I've posted upon this before), even when the trend of marrying the high school or college sweetheart began, after the war, no one thought much of an age difference of that level. I am NOT into the age differences from prior generations. . . the whole Rhett Butler is 35 and noticing 16 year old Scarlett (even though they didn't marry until she was in her early 20s) is too much in today's society, as was the whole Jane Austen's "Emma," where she married a friend of her father's who was most likely around 32-35. . . I am not opposed to dating an older woman, but it hasn't worked well for me in the past. . .

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