Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Marirose-887295 said: www.hoffmaninstitute.org
(Quote) Marirose-887295 said:

www.hoffmaninstitute.org

--hide--

Many wonderful posts and advice. I looked at the Hoffman Process site and it is very expensive.

Maybe one of the books listed would be an a less expensive alternative.

I looked at one of the books on Amazaon. A used book is a bargain.

Journey into Love : Ten Steps to Wholeness by Kani Comstock (Author), Marisa Thame (Author) www.amazon.com I found the Editorial review interesting: From the Inside Flap Journey into Love: Ten Steps to Wholeness: 1 Moving Into Awareness
The journey into love begins with understanding how we lost sight of our essence, our spirit, our source of love. In order to survive in childhood we took on a false self comprised of compulsive patterns which are not us, but define, control and limit us. Awareness that these patterns are not us, brings us hope that we can change.

2 Committing to Change
Our desire to change our self and our life arises from our dissatisfaction with what is, regardless of how successful and fulfilled our life appears to be. Hope that change is possible, along with recognition of the specifics of what's wrong with our life, moves us to commit to change. Commitment energizes the change process and enables it to flow.

3 Acknowledging Our Essence
Compulsive patterns disrupt our connection with our essence which is love. Re-experiencing and acknowledging that our spiritual essence is love reveals our patterns as separate from us and opens us to our inner wisdom. We can envision living from our truth. We are empowered to proceed from strength rather than weakness.

4 Getting the Anger Out
To escape the hurt, fear and abandonment we felt as a child, we got angry. Suppressed and denied, that anger from our childhood surfaces today as resentment, depression, illness and violence. By focusing our anger's expression at the source of the pain, we move the parents of our childhood outside of us, establish clear boundaries, and claim our self.

5 Finding Forgiveness and Compassion
Having released our anger, the path takes us into the reality of our parents' childhoods. Deep emotional understanding of their lives brings forgiveness, and compassion for the child that lives in each of them. In giving them unconditional love, we can finally experience compassionate forgiveness and love for our self.

6 Ending the Battle Within
Freed from negative attachment to our parents, we face the war within. The internal battle between child and intellect has stressed our body and obscured our essence. Expressing the grievances makes space for a truce, an agreement to work together in partnership and harmony, and create inner peace.

7 Moving Beyond Blame
Finally we see that blaming our self and others keeps us negatively attached to the past, and limits us to fantasizing a better future. We keep missing the moment. Moving beyond the compulsive blaming and desire for revenge restores our ability to live in the present with responsiveness and choice.

8 Disempowering the Dark Side
Our patterns fit together creating a powerful compulsive internal system that harnesses our energy and runs our life. This is our dark side. It robs us of consciousness, and separates us from our spirit. Through awareness, commitment and action, we can disempower our dark side, and free our being to live from our innate positivity.

9 Reclaiming Our Joy
Our changes broaden our perspective, and new truths become visible. We can reclaim the childlike spontaneity, playfulness and joy which is us. We are able to perceive and validate the positive attitudes and skills learned from and nurtured by our parents. This restores balance to our lives.

10 Achieving Integration
The necessity of each of our four aspects -- spirit, emotions, intellect and body -- can now be recognized as essential for life. Our emotional child matures, and all aspects integrate as equal adult partners committed to collaboration and teamwork. We love our whole being the way we have always wanted to be loved, and, finally, can receive love from others and love unconditionally.


Jan 19th 2013 new

Another thought on change regarding the Hoffman Process. This reminds me of the Prochaska's Model of Change.

Stage 1: Precontemplation (Not Ready)[4]

People at this stage do not intend to start the healthy behavior in the near future (within 6 months), and may be unaware of the need to change. People here learn more about healthy behavior: they are encouraged to think about the pros of changing their behavior and to feel emotions about the effects of their negative behavior on others.

Precontemplators typically underestimate the pros of changing, overestimate the cons, and often are not aware of making such mistakes.

One of the most effective steps that others can help with at this stage is to encourage them to become more mindful of their decision making and more conscious of the multiple benefits of changing an unhealthy behavior.

Stage 2: Contemplation (Getting Ready)
At this stage, participants are intending to start the healthy behavior within the next 6 months. While they are usually now more aware of the pros of changing, their cons are about equal to their Pros. This ambivalence about changing can cause them to keep putting off taking action.

People here learn about the kind of person they could be if they changed their behavior and learn more from people who behave in healthy ways.

Others can influence and help effectively at this stage by encouraging them to work at reducing the cons of changing their behavior.

Stage 3: Preparation (Ready)
People at this stage are ready to start taking action within the next 30 days. They take small steps that they believe can help them make the healthy behavior a part of their lives. For example, they tell their friends and family that they want to change their behavior.

People in this stage should be encouraged to seek support from friends they trust, tell people about their plan to change the way they act, and think about how they would feel if they behaved in a healthier way. Their number one concern is: when they act, will they fail? They learn that the better prepared they are, the more likely they are to keep progressing.

Stage 4: Action
People at this stage have changed their behavior within the last 6 months and need to work hard to keep moving ahead. These participants need to learn how to strengthen their commitments to change and to fight urges to slip back.

People in this stage progress by being taught techniques for keeping up their commitments such as substituting activities related to the unhealthy behavior with positive ones, rewarding themselves for taking steps toward changing, and avoiding people and situations that tempt them to behave in unhealthy ways.

Stage 5: Maintenance
People at this stage changed their behavior more than 6 months ago. It is important for people in this stage to be aware of situations that may tempt them to slip back into doing the unhealthy behavior—particularly stressful situations.

It is recommended that people in this stage seek support from and talk with people whom they trust, spend time with people who behave in healthy ways, and remember to engage in healthy activities to cope with stress instead of relying on unhealthy behavior.

Book: Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward [Paperback]
James O. Prochaska (Author), John Norcross (Author), Carlo DiClemente (Author)

www.amazon.com

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Sandra-871852 said: Another thought on change regarding the Hoffman Process. This reminds me of the Prochaska's ...
(Quote) Sandra-871852 said:

Another thought on change regarding the Hoffman Process. This reminds me of the Prochaska's Model of Change.

Stage 1: Precontemplation (Not Ready)[4]

People at this stage do not intend to start the healthy behavior in the near future (within 6 months), and may be unaware of the need to change. People here learn more about healthy behavior: they are encouraged to think about the pros of changing their behavior and to feel emotions about the effects of their negative behavior on others.

Precontemplators typically underestimate the pros of changing, overestimate the cons, and often are not aware of making such mistakes.

One of the most effective steps that others can help with at this stage is to encourage them to become more mindful of their decision making and more conscious of the multiple benefits of changing an unhealthy behavior.

Stage 2: Contemplation (Getting Ready)
At this stage, participants are intending to start the healthy behavior within the next 6 months. While they are usually now more aware of the pros of changing, their cons are about equal to their Pros. This ambivalence about changing can cause them to keep putting off taking action.

People here learn about the kind of person they could be if they changed their behavior and learn more from people who behave in healthy ways.

Others can influence and help effectively at this stage by encouraging them to work at reducing the cons of changing their behavior.

Stage 3: Preparation (Ready)
People at this stage are ready to start taking action within the next 30 days. They take small steps that they believe can help them make the healthy behavior a part of their lives. For example, they tell their friends and family that they want to change their behavior.

People in this stage should be encouraged to seek support from friends they trust, tell people about their plan to change the way they act, and think about how they would feel if they behaved in a healthier way. Their number one concern is: when they act, will they fail? They learn that the better prepared they are, the more likely they are to keep progressing.

Stage 4: Action
People at this stage have changed their behavior within the last 6 months and need to work hard to keep moving ahead. These participants need to learn how to strengthen their commitments to change and to fight urges to slip back.

People in this stage progress by being taught techniques for keeping up their commitments such as substituting activities related to the unhealthy behavior with positive ones, rewarding themselves for taking steps toward changing, and avoiding people and situations that tempt them to behave in unhealthy ways.

Stage 5: Maintenance
People at this stage changed their behavior more than 6 months ago. It is important for people in this stage to be aware of situations that may tempt them to slip back into doing the unhealthy behavior—particularly stressful situations.

It is recommended that people in this stage seek support from and talk with people whom they trust, spend time with people who behave in healthy ways, and remember to engage in healthy activities to cope with stress instead of relying on unhealthy behavior.

Book: Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward [Paperback]
James O. Prochaska (Author), John Norcross (Author), Carlo DiClemente (Author)

www.amazon.com

--hide--
Interesting! I will have to check them out. Hopefully they are on CD, as I use my commute time for self improvement. Hoffman is expensive but they offer scholarships and from what I have seen it is well worth it. Also, I noticed they are now offering some classes for none graduates that are reasonably priced.

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Sandra-871852 said: Another thought on change regarding the Hoffman Process. This reminds me of the Prochaska's ...
(Quote) Sandra-871852 said:

Another thought on change regarding the Hoffman Process. This reminds me of the Prochaska's Model of Change.

Stage 1: Precontemplation (Not Ready)[4]

People at this stage do not intend to start the healthy behavior in the near future (within 6 months), and may be unaware of the need to change. People here learn more about healthy behavior: they are encouraged to think about the pros of changing their behavior and to feel emotions about the effects of their negative behavior on others.

Precontemplators typically underestimate the pros of changing, overestimate the cons, and often are not aware of making such mistakes.

One of the most effective steps that others can help with at this stage is to encourage them to become more mindful of their decision making and more conscious of the multiple benefits of changing an unhealthy behavior.

Stage 2: Contemplation (Getting Ready)
At this stage, participants are intending to start the healthy behavior within the next 6 months. While they are usually now more aware of the pros of changing, their cons are about equal to their Pros. This ambivalence about changing can cause them to keep putting off taking action.

People here learn about the kind of person they could be if they changed their behavior and learn more from people who behave in healthy ways.

Others can influence and help effectively at this stage by encouraging them to work at reducing the cons of changing their behavior.

Stage 3: Preparation (Ready)
People at this stage are ready to start taking action within the next 30 days. They take small steps that they believe can help them make the healthy behavior a part of their lives. For example, they tell their friends and family that they want to change their behavior.

People in this stage should be encouraged to seek support from friends they trust, tell people about their plan to change the way they act, and think about how they would feel if they behaved in a healthier way. Their number one concern is: when they act, will they fail? They learn that the better prepared they are, the more likely they are to keep progressing.

Stage 4: Action
People at this stage have changed their behavior within the last 6 months and need to work hard to keep moving ahead. These participants need to learn how to strengthen their commitments to change and to fight urges to slip back.

People in this stage progress by being taught techniques for keeping up their commitments such as substituting activities related to the unhealthy behavior with positive ones, rewarding themselves for taking steps toward changing, and avoiding people and situations that tempt them to behave in unhealthy ways.

Stage 5: Maintenance
People at this stage changed their behavior more than 6 months ago. It is important for people in this stage to be aware of situations that may tempt them to slip back into doing the unhealthy behavior—particularly stressful situations.

It is recommended that people in this stage seek support from and talk with people whom they trust, spend time with people who behave in healthy ways, and remember to engage in healthy activities to cope with stress instead of relying on unhealthy behavior.

Book: Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward [Paperback]
James O. Prochaska (Author), John Norcross (Author), Carlo DiClemente (Author)

www.amazon.com

--hide--
Interesting! I will have to check them out. Hopefully they are on CD, as I use my commute time for self improvement. Hoffman is expensive but they offer scholarships and from what I have seen it is well worth it. Also, I noticed they are now offering some classes for none graduates that are reasonably priced.

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Sandra-871852 said: Another thought on change regarding the Hoffman Process. This reminds me of the Prochaska's ...
(Quote) Sandra-871852 said:

Another thought on change regarding the Hoffman Process. This reminds me of the Prochaska's Model of Change.

Stage 1: Precontemplation (Not Ready)[4]

People at this stage do not intend to start the healthy behavior in the near future (within 6 months), and may be unaware of the need to change. People here learn more about healthy behavior: they are encouraged to think about the pros of changing their behavior and to feel emotions about the effects of their negative behavior on others.

Precontemplators typically underestimate the pros of changing, overestimate the cons, and often are not aware of making such mistakes.

One of the most effective steps that others can help with at this stage is to encourage them to become more mindful of their decision making and more conscious of the multiple benefits of changing an unhealthy behavior.

Stage 2: Contemplation (Getting Ready)
At this stage, participants are intending to start the healthy behavior within the next 6 months. While they are usually now more aware of the pros of changing, their cons are about equal to their Pros. This ambivalence about changing can cause them to keep putting off taking action.

People here learn about the kind of person they could be if they changed their behavior and learn more from people who behave in healthy ways.

Others can influence and help effectively at this stage by encouraging them to work at reducing the cons of changing their behavior.

Stage 3: Preparation (Ready)
People at this stage are ready to start taking action within the next 30 days. They take small steps that they believe can help them make the healthy behavior a part of their lives. For example, they tell their friends and family that they want to change their behavior.

People in this stage should be encouraged to seek support from friends they trust, tell people about their plan to change the way they act, and think about how they would feel if they behaved in a healthier way. Their number one concern is: when they act, will they fail? They learn that the better prepared they are, the more likely they are to keep progressing.

Stage 4: Action
People at this stage have changed their behavior within the last 6 months and need to work hard to keep moving ahead. These participants need to learn how to strengthen their commitments to change and to fight urges to slip back.

People in this stage progress by being taught techniques for keeping up their commitments such as substituting activities related to the unhealthy behavior with positive ones, rewarding themselves for taking steps toward changing, and avoiding people and situations that tempt them to behave in unhealthy ways.

Stage 5: Maintenance
People at this stage changed their behavior more than 6 months ago. It is important for people in this stage to be aware of situations that may tempt them to slip back into doing the unhealthy behavior—particularly stressful situations.

It is recommended that people in this stage seek support from and talk with people whom they trust, spend time with people who behave in healthy ways, and remember to engage in healthy activities to cope with stress instead of relying on unhealthy behavior.

Book: Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward [Paperback]
James O. Prochaska (Author), John Norcross (Author), Carlo DiClemente (Author)

www.amazon.com

--hide--
Interesting! I will have to check them out. Hopefully they are on CD, as I use my commute time for self improvement. Hoffman is expensive but they offer scholarships and from what I have seen it is well worth it. Also, I noticed they are now offering some classes for none graduates that are reasonably priced.

Jan 20th 2013 new

Excellent info.

Posts 21 - 26 of 26