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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Dec 14th 2012 new

I really do not know what transpired because I did not participate. I am a convert so this whole process seems to go against the seven sacraments to me. I am curious why and how such a process can go through and the other party not be privy to documentation? I am just ranting, but I am still curious about what happened.

Dec 14th 2012 new

(Quote) Mary-913177 said: I really do not know what transpired because I did not participate. I am a convert so this whole p...
(Quote) Mary-913177 said:

I really do not know what transpired because I did not participate. I am a convert so this whole process seems to go against the seven sacraments to me. I am curious why and how such a process can go through and the other party not be privy to documentation? I am just ranting, but I am still curious about what happened.

--hide--

Have you contacted the marriage tribunal that issued the declaration? They are the only ones, other than your ex-husband, who will know for sure: anything we can tell you here will just be speculation. You might also ask about your right too appeal the decision.

If they are not helpful and are in a different diocese than where you reside, you might also contact the marriage tribunal in your diocese and see if they are able to provide some general information and guidance.

Dec 14th 2012 new

(Quote) Mary-913177 said: I really do not know what transpired because I did not participate. I am a convert so this whole ...
(Quote) Mary-913177 said:

I really do not know what transpired because I did not participate. I am a convert so this whole process seems to go against the seven sacraments to me. I am curious why and how such a process can go through and the other party not be privy to documentation? I am just ranting, but I am still curious about what happened.

--hide--


If you chose not to participate then you gave up the privelege to know why it was granted.. My ex-husband chose not to participate.. He is not Catholic and was in the middle of wedding preparations to his third wife when he was contacted.. They had a heck of a time finding a minister to marry them and ended up bringing a friend of his niece who was newly ordained in his faith down to Indy.. They didn't want to use a judge.

Dec 15th 2012 new

Well, my ex was in a hurry to get an annulment so he could get engaged. LOL! It all seemed too quick for me and I felt railroaded into just fill out the papers and get 8 witnesses; like I approved of the process. I did drag my feet and later asked for an extention, but they had already closed the book on me. Oh, well! Thanks for the information and some kind of an explaination. I don't really think that most people understand the annulment process when it happens to them and are treated like they do not have an option.

Dec 26th 2012 new

(Quote) Mary-913177 said: I really do not know what transpired because I did not participate. I am a convert so this whole p...
(Quote) Mary-913177 said:

I really do not know what transpired because I did not participate. I am a convert so this whole process seems to go against the seven sacraments to me. I am curious why and how such a process can go through and the other party not be privy to documentation? I am just ranting, but I am still curious about what happened.

--hide--



Mary, I know in my situation the tribunal wrote to my ex and informed him of the application for annulment and gave him the ability to respond. I think they also told him, he could read the documents if he came in and did it at the office. I would think they would give you the same opportunity unless they were unable to locate you. Not sure, why you wouldn't have.

Dec 27th 2012 new
(Quote) Marirose-887295 said: Mary, I know in my situation the tribunal wrote to my ex and informed him of the application for...
(Quote) Marirose-887295 said:




Mary, I know in my situation the tribunal wrote to my ex and informed him of the application for annulment and gave him the ability to respond. I think they also told him, he could read the documents if he came in and did it at the office. I would think they would give you the same opportunity unless they were unable to locate you. Not sure, why you wouldn't have.

--hide--


I experienced a similar thing. My former husband did not participate in the inquiries, but he was given full liberty to review my answers, and those of the witnesses, before it went to First Instance and after a Decree of Nullity was finally issued.

I believe this is universal in the Church, because I had to write to the Pope to request that my former husband not be allowed to read any of the documentation. We were in the middle of a heated child custody disagreement in Court and I feared he might use some of what I wrote against me. The Tribunal told me that this is one issue they have been asking the Holy See to change, but it still has not happened. Hence, I had to request an exception.

By the way, the Pope sent a "no reply" and I then tried to trust in God and I moved forward with the process.
Jan 8th 2013 new

Mary,

My ex after being divorced and remarried (out of the church) for many years decided that he wanted an annulment and I was sent papers. I didn't think I could write everything down and open all of it up again and didn't know about witnesses, since it had been so many years. I finally called my Archdiocese and was told I could give a verbal accounting, which is what I did (what a relief). I also started digging and found witnesses, what they finally said I do not know. The bottom line is that I have an annulment so many years later, he is not free to remarry now and he had the papers sealed. I don't know what's in them, but suspect quite a bit. It was such a healing and freeing experience for me and looking back I should have done it after our divorce, but did not know what was in his mind and the reason he considered our marriage invalid in the eyes of the church, or if he even thought it at the time. I had other reasons that I thought were valid but never pursued them. I do wish him peace in his life.

Many people do not understand the process or the timeline. It's as if you are the deer caught in the headlights, frozen in time and space, if you do not move quickly, it's too late. Go to the Archdiocese again and ask for answers, I do believe they will respect your request and at least give you some answers and you papers. At least I was given some verbal answers after calling the Archdiocese for an explanation of the annulment, not in writing, not the whole picture, but enough to satisfy me and to let go of the past with a peaceful heart.

theheart

Jan 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathleen-878558 said: I experienced a similar thing. My former husband did not participate in the inquiries, but he...
(Quote) Kathleen-878558 said:

I experienced a similar thing. My former husband did not participate in the inquiries, but he was given full liberty to review my answers, and those of the witnesses, before it went to First Instance and after a Decree of Nullity was finally issued.

I believe this is universal in the Church, because I had to write to the Pope to request that my former husband not be allowed to read any of the documentation. We were in the middle of a heated child custody disagreement in Court and I feared he might use some of what I wrote against me. The Tribunal told me that this is one issue they have been asking the Holy See to change, but it still has not happened. Hence, I had to request an exception.

By the way, the Pope sent a "no reply" and I then tried to trust in God and I moved forward with the process.
--hide--
I can relate, I wanted to take back the paperwork and forget the whole thing I found that out. I also had to trust in God but I was scared through the whole process.


Unfortunately, I covered for him during the marriage and was ashamed of what was happening so only people very close to me knew what was going on.

Jan 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-913177 said: Well, my ex was in a hurry to get an annulment so he could get engaged. LOL! It all seemed too qui...
(Quote) Mary-913177 said:

Well, my ex was in a hurry to get an annulment so he could get engaged. LOL! It all seemed too quick for me and I felt railroaded into just fill out the papers and get 8 witnesses; like I approved of the process. I did drag my feet and later asked for an extention, but they had already closed the book on me. Oh, well! Thanks for the information and some kind of an explaination. I don't really think that most people understand the annulment process when it happens to them and are treated like they do not have an option.

--hide--

You are right, Mary. One party does not have the option of preventing the other party from proceeding with the annulment process. You either get to jump on the train and take the ride through the process or wave as it leaves the station.

It possible that you may gain some peace by learning more about the process, i.e. contacting your local Tribunal for a general appointment or reading books about the process.

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