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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 19th 2012 new
(Quote) Victor-544727 said: That's not always true. Sometimes, it's just circumstantial. Whil...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:






That's not always true. Sometimes, it's just circumstantial. While browsing profiles I frequently come across profiles that I recall seeing several times prior. If I then remember sending that person a prior message, but not receiving a reply, I'm certainly not going to waste my time sending another message (I do NOT send a second message if the first isn't replied to) regardless of whether or not I viewed her profile.






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Wait a minute Victor. I just read your profile this week and you said you are seeking friendship. ???
Dec 19th 2012 new

(Quote) 'The much wiser course in a dating contextboth for purposes of evaluating a potential spouse in biblical terms and to lay the ...
(Quote)
'The much wiser course in a dating contextboth for purposes of evaluating a potential spouse in biblical terms and to lay the groundwork for a biblically sound marriageis for the guy to model godly initiative and leadership with the womans good in mind, and for the woman to respond to that leadership.' - http://www.catholicmatch.com
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I think it's nice when the guy takes innitiative -- it's nice to be pursued as a woman instead of being the pursuer, which I feel is not my natural position.

Dec 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Kathleen-878558 said: Ray, I think my viewing men's profiles in Searches and from Threads is my way of giving g...
(Quote) Kathleen-878558 said:

Ray, I think my viewing men's profiles in Searches and from Threads is my way of giving gents a nudge.
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If you drop hints, a guy who's awake should take the hint. If only it worked that way more often.....

Dec 19th 2012 new

For me this entire thread is ridiculous--I mean, come on, people....

There is a reason why we are all single, and it is abundantly clear from what is being said in this thread.

No one is willing to step up and actually DO anything. In the first instance, this is the men's role, which CM men are abdicating, and that is a pity.

In the second instance, it is a woman's role to "encourage" him (which at most here is sending a note). This is a dance, where everyone has their part to dance, and if no one will dance their part, well, there's gonna be no party here....

So it's a pity, it really is, and if one is called to the vocation of marriage, I think it borders on or even is a sin as well, to not act on one's vocational call to DO SOMETHING so as to allow for it to happen.

You have to give God raw material with which to work.

That is reaching out to someone. After that, it is up to the other person, and to God. Either, and eventually both, have to say "yes" and until that happens, you just keep giving God more "raw material" to work with each day to try and fulfill your vocation.

Send of sermon. soapbox

Dec 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Donna-871766 said: If I receive a "view" AND I am interested/attracted to the viewer I will send an emote ...
(Quote) Donna-871766 said:

If I receive a "view" AND I am interested/attracted to the viewer I will send an emote thanking him for stopping by. If I don't hear back I know it is either because he is not interested/attracted or not a paying member. Either way is fine because it's up to God anyway. But you can't ask God to guide your footsteps if you refuse to move your feet.

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Donna-I love that about refusing to move our feet...I'm going to remember that one. Thanks.

Dec 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: For me this entire thread is ridiculous--I mean, come on, people.... There is a reason why we ...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

For me this entire thread is ridiculous--I mean, come on, people....

There is a reason why we are all single, and it is abundantly clear from what is being said in this thread.

No one is willing to step up and actually DO anything. In the first instance, this is the men's role, which CM men are abdicating, and that is a pity.

In the second instance, it is a woman's role to "encourage" him (which at most here is sending a note). This is a dance, where everyone has their part to dance, and if no one will dance their part, well, there's gonna be no party here....

So it's a pity, it really is, and if one is called to the vocation of marriage, I think it borders on or even is a sin as well, to not act on one's vocational call to DO SOMETHING so as to allow for it to happen.

You have to give God raw material with which to work.

That is reaching out to someone. After that, it is up to the other person, and to God. Either, and eventually both, have to say "yes" and until that happens, you just keep giving God more "raw material" to work with each day to try and fulfill your vocation.

Send of sermon.

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Oh trust me Pat, I've stepped up several times. Unfortunately, I can't find myself a dance partner. Oh well, the music continues and I shall continue to seek my dance partner. Anybody wants to swing to the music?

Dec 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Molly-236515 said: She says that he wants you to view his profile and respond. What do you think????
(Quote) Molly-236515 said:

She says that he wants you to view his profile and respond. What do you think????

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I don't think that's right and even if it were it sounds odd. If someone is interested they can contact you. I'm not sure why you would think they're interested if they can't do that?

Dec 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Kathleen-878558 said: (Quote) Molly-236515 said: So my sister and I were talking about those lovely ...
(Quote) Kathleen-878558 said:
Quote:
Molly-236515 said:

So my sister and I were talking about those lovely emails that tell you. "Johnny has viewed your profile!!!!" I say if there is no follow up with a message/emotiongram etc., then it is another rejection. She says that he wants you to view his profile and respond. What do you think????








I will create Searches, or see someone in a thread, in whom I might be interested and I will click on their photo and look at their profile. If he looks back at my profile, but don't send me an emotigram or a message, I interpret that as him not being interested. So I guess, I am willing to "drop the hankie", as Victor called it, but then I expect/hope the man will do something more significant if he is interested in me. I have come to realize I need a man to take charge from the get go, because I want him to take charge in the relationship/marriage.

I just came across this CM if anyone is interested. It came out today and is about this very topic. Here is an excerpt.

CatholicMatch Men: Lead And We Will Follow

"If a man, according to Scripture, is the 'head of a wife,' well then us CatholicMatch ladies should be sitting back with our feet up waiting for noble CatholicMatch men to make the first move, right?

According to Scott Croft, a contributor to Focus on the Familys 'Boundless' webzine, the answer is, indeed, yes. He wrote in his 2005 post:

'I think it is part of our job as men to risk rejection and be the initiators of dates and dating relationships, and if you wait until she has gone out on a limb and made her interest known, youre asking her to take the risk instead of taking it on yourself.'

Croft goes on to say that a woman pursuing a man sets a tone in the relationship for reversed biblical roles in marriage:

'The much wiser course in a dating contextboth for purposes of evaluating a potential spouse in biblical terms and to lay the groundwork for a biblically sound marriageis for the guy to model godly initiative and leadership with the womans good in mind, and for the woman to respond to that leadership.' - www.catholicmatch.com
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I'd be careful with this line of reasoning because it can EASLY lead to abuse. I think this means more that the husband is responsible for making sure his wife and family are happy and cared for, not necessarily CEO style leadership.

Dec 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Kelly-846180 said: I think my response would have to be, "Who cares!?" If, after viewing my profile, he...
(Quote) Kelly-846180 said:

I think my response would have to be, "Who cares!?" If, after viewing my profile, he's not interested enough to start communication, I'm not going to bother. Don't be shy, gentlemen! Step up to the plate!

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I agree, Kelly ... if he's not interested enough to send along with a follow-up note, then move on ... smile








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Dec 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: But, Kathleen, the fact is that a woman must chase a man until he catches her. Or, as a wise CM lad...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

But, Kathleen, the fact is that a woman must chase a man until he catches her. Or, as a wise CM lady said, "Men hunt; women fish."

Sometimes the gents need a little prodding -- or a swift kick in the posterior to get them motivated. It's unfortunate, but true.

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Hi wave Sir knight-errant Ray!

I've always kind of considered my browsing a man, more than once, was a sign that I was interested in him and would like to hear from him. And many times, I've had to drop more than my hanky by sending an emotigram with the same sentiment ... that I would enjoy hearing back from him. They either ignore it (by not responding), or send back a thank you with some reason why they're not interested. I give them credit for responding.

Hope you're having a very fruitful and holy Advent season!







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