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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Dec 21st 2012 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: And you probably would have enjoyed those silly $1 mustaches more than a $500 dinne...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


And you probably would have enjoyed those silly $1 mustaches more than a $500 dinner!

--hide--

You know it, Victor! There are no $500 dinners in my future! Well, except I guess I need to start saving for the dress rehersal dinner....

Dec 21st 2012 new

(Quote) Lisa-572677 said: You know it, Victor! There are no $500 dinners in my future! Well, except I guess...
(Quote) Lisa-572677 said:

You know it, Victor! There are no $500 dinners in my future! Well, except I guess I need to start saving for the dress rehersal dinner....

--hide--


Don't forget your mustache! laughing wink


theheart

Dec 21st 2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: (Quote) Lisa-572677 said: OK, this is for thoughts and general discussion. I...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Quote:
Lisa-572677 said:

OK, this is for thoughts and general discussion. I've been single forever and have no idea what my mom does regarding gifts for me, my siblings and their spouses. However, I have a dear, dear divorced mom friend who frequently pointed out to me over the years that she was being shorted! Seems her mom spent x amount on her, the same on her sister, and then the same on her brother-in-law. So, to her way of thinking, she was getting less than her sister.

I've got two sons and it makes sense to keep things "even-Stephen," but now, I am faced with a similar dilemna. I'm joyfully buying gifts for one son and his girlfriend (who we all hope will become his wife in the near future) and then there's my other son. What's fair for him?


There's some unwritten rule about spending equal amounts for the younger set. It's more important to consider their wants and needs and get them something that is meaningful and useful to them. In the long run, even though different amounts will be spent each year, things will balance out. There's a natural tendency for some people to keep score, but in reality, it's not important. I'd rather receive something thoughtful, even though it's less expensive than what someone else in the family got.

Actually, at this stage, I'm not concerned about receiving gifts. There comes a time when a person wants to make more space as opposed to accumulating more stuff.

--hide--


Ray, I know it is hard but in the past I did keep up with how much I spent on each of my two children. It was a daunting task since I have a boy and girl. It all worked out though.

Now, regarding your gift to me - I would like something thoughtful but very expensive. No dime store stuff for this Texan. Better get it in the mail today so I get it by Monday. I promise to return the favor at the next fire sale. laughing laughing

Seriously, just as yourself, I want nothing, expect nothing. On Christmas Day, I will find great joy watching 12 children ranging in age from 8 months to 14 years open their gifts and being around lots of people. The biggest gift anyone could give me is for families to get along and have mutual respect and trust. One day, maybe my prayers will be heard.

To you and yours, the merriest of Christmas' and a blessed and prosperous New Year.

Drink one for this rascal, cowboy

Peace, joy, happiness and lots of love, Praying Praying Praying smile wave

Dec 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Leon-593843 said: Ray, I know it is hard but in the past I did keep up with how much I spent on each of my t...
(Quote) Leon-593843 said:



Ray, I know it is hard but in the past I did keep up with how much I spent on each of my two children. It was a daunting task since I have a boy and girl. It all worked out though.

Now, regarding your gift to me - I would like something thoughtful but very expensive. No dime store stuff for this Texan. Better get it in the mail today so I get it by Monday. I promise to return the favor at the next fire sale.

Seriously, just as yourself, I want nothing, expect nothing. On Christmas Day, I will find great joy watching 12 children ranging in age from 8 months to 14 years open their gifts and being around lots of people. The biggest gift anyone could give me is for families to get along and have mutual respect and trust. One day, maybe my prayers will be heard.

To you and yours, the merriest of Christmas' and a blessed and prosperous New Year.

Drink one for this rascal,

Peace, joy, happiness and lots of love,

--hide--
Figured out what I can get you for Christmas that fulfills your wish that it be something thoughtful but very expensive. That would be a wife...... faint Can't send one in the mail of course, but she'll be there ASAP. Hope she doesn't melt with all that hot air.....

Peace in families, mutual respect and trust will take a bit longer, I'm afraid. But they are noble goals to work toward.

Leon -- there comes a time when it's so much more enjoyable to turn the gift receiving over to the little ones. Like the Mastercard commercial says: "Priceless". It's even more amusing to see them open a large box, take out the present, then spend the rest of the day playing with the box.

To you, Leon -- I will raise that cup of kindness, for auld lang syne..... Coffee

A blessed Christmas and holiday season to you, too.

Dec 25th 2012 new

As a young adult, I'm sure the other son will be happy just having everyone together with the possibility of gaining a sister-in-law. Most people past the age of 11 don't keep score. I've always tried to teach my kids that life isn't always fair, but we are always given what we need. When my step-daughter and her hubby were having a really hard year, I spent way more on things for them that they needed than I did on my two. My kids didn't seem to mind until it hit them in the cookie jar and they felt slighted that I give more away than I keep for us. I have tried to keep things even between them to a point, but if something is on sale, I don't rush out to make up the difference!


This year, Christmas was pretty slim in the gift giving department. It has also been one of our best in being together and playing games and going to church. (They rushed off to put on suits and dresses and chided me for not dressing up as I was in my dress slacks and a sweater.) I told them weeks ago we probably wouldn't have Santa gifts, but it didn't stop us from contributing to the giving tree. So this morning, after 16 years of staying up until the wee hours and sneaking gifts under the tree for everyone, I slept in a bit. When I came upstairs, I was surprised to see my daughter had cards and recycled gifts from her to everyone. It's the first time my name has been on a present from Santa. I was so touched that she has crossed the line from expectations to knowing the joy of giving.


I vote that if you are able, give joyfully to your son's friend. For it is in the giving that
we receive!

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