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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Dec 20th 2012 new

It's good you're helping him. Listen, suggest things. Encourage and guide him to take the steps necessary to better his situation. Keep doing what you're doing. Keep praying.

Dec 20th 2012 new

If he is still in school, contact the school counselor. Also, contact a local YMCA. Talk to your parish preist for information for services. Contacting DHS on his behalf to help him get any services they offer. Salvation Army may also be of some help. Any of these places should be able to help him get the help he needs. God Bless you for taking him in and helping him get the help he needs. Prayers for him so that he may find peace in his life.

Dec 20th 2012 new
(Quote) Theresa-911246 said: A few weeks ago, my eldest son 17yrs brought his friend over. He is 18yrs and according to my older boys, the...
(Quote) Theresa-911246 said:

A few weeks ago, my eldest son 17yrs brought his friend over. He is 18yrs and according to my older boys, they attended the same highschool. My son seemed insistant, his friend stay and arranged for him to sleep on our quest cot. At first it was no big deal, when he slept over a few nights, but I needed to find out what was going on. I sat down with my son and he began to explain the situation. He said "Mom, he's homeless" ........
In disbelief, I said "what do you mean homeless"? He further explained an unrestful situation at home that resulted in him being kicked out. I talked with all the boys and the concensus was to let him stay. What could they say really, they didnt belief it either. I think my kids find it hard to belief a young person so close to their age is in this position. To make things more difficult, he suffers from ADD. This evening when I worked on the computer with him, I found he struggles with reading and spelling. This evening while all the boys were gaming, computing, texting, I wondered where his friend went. He was in my sons room, sitting on side of the bed with his head lowered. When he looked up, he didnt smile like he usually does. A few weeks ago I wondered when he would be ready to talk and this was going to be the night. I came in and asked him how the apt search was going and so. He began telling me things he was going to do. I pressed deeper, asking him if his family will help him. While describing the circumstances, he brought up his sick grandmother. He started to cry and he was coming unglued. He was sobbing so much I had to grab him and hug him. Well it was either that or slap him in the face. He hugged me back and nearly took my breath away. I told him to calm down. I told him to disassociate himself from negative situations and focus on himself. Emphasizing, the path God has set before him. He told me he was so frusterated with the situation, he had thoughts of suicide. I told him this is not an acceptible answer. I explained life is difficult but also rewarding and you must overcome to get to the next level and eventually Heaven. After he calmed down I discussed a short term action plan for him. He wanted to write some things down and I gave him a composition book I found. After writing in the book he shared it with my son.
Clearly, he needs help and way more than I can provide with food and shelter. Where do I go from here? He has tribal affiliations, but Im not sure who would help him. My dilema is, how do I help another womans child?

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You are doing a wonderful thing. He has to hear that he has a future and a hope. Jeremiah comes to mind. Depression and thoughts of suicide are common at that age, having a hard time focusing doesn't help. Assist him in areas where he can gain some confidence, improving his reading skills is a plus. But find something he has a passion for. What does he love? If it is healthy, encourage and nurture that. Again he has to see that there is a future past tomorrow. If he can see possibilities he will be less likely to do something to hurt himself.

Let him know there are complete strangers Praying for him.
Dec 21st 2012 new

Hi David, Sunday is our family day and we usually attend church. Lately Iv'e been emphasizing the bibles teachings and meaning behind it. Of course while the young man stays here he will be included when we pray. He's been to church with us and you could tell he was a little overwhelmed. The church is beautiful with its stained glass windows that are entrancing. When we arrived I asked if he knew how to make the sign of the cross and he said no. I showed him a few times and to my shock, he made the sign of the cross upside down. shocked Of course I quickly had him do it the right way. I pray the Virgin Mary give me guidence especially this Sunday.

Dec 21st 2012 new

Ray Ive already spoken to his mother and she is well aware of where he is and what he is doing. He does need counseling services and I agree he needs prevention counseling. He seems pretty upbeat for the time being.

Dec 21st 2012 new

(Quote) Joanna-615441 said: You are doing a wonderful thing. He has to hear that he has a future and a hope. Jeremiah comes...
(Quote) Joanna-615441 said:

You are doing a wonderful thing. He has to hear that he has a future and a hope. Jeremiah comes to mind. Depression and thoughts of suicide are common at that age, having a hard time focusing doesn't help. Assist him in areas where he can gain some confidence, improving his reading skills is a plus. But find something he has a passion for. What does he love? If it is healthy, encourage and nurture that. Again he has to see that there is a future past tomorrow. If he can see possibilities he will be less likely to do something to hurt himself.

Let him know there are complete strangers Praying for him.
--hide--
Joanna He is handy,with essembling things. Last week I had him work with my son essembling a book case. He took the inititive, while boasting about how his uncle showed him how to build things. I am trying to keep him busy. Last night my son dropped him off at another friends house. My son tried to call him but he didnt pick up. He hasnt come back to the house and I think its because I asked him to make some phone calls and go down to the tribal offices to fill out some forms. He's stalling for some reason, do you call that stage fright? What do you call that????

Dec 21st 2012 new

Angela He is no longer in school. I will reach out to some of the teachers at the high school, I know some of the facalty there.

Dec 21st 2012 new

(Quote) Theresa-911246 said: Ray Ive already spoken to his mother and she is well aware of where he is and what he is doing....
(Quote) Theresa-911246 said:

Ray Ive already spoken to his mother and she is well aware of where he is and what he is doing. He does need counseling services and I agree he needs prevention counseling. He seems pretty upbeat for the time being.

--hide--
What seems to be his mother's reaction to all of this?

Dec 21st 2012 new

(Quote) Theresa-911246 said: Hi David, Sunday is our family day and we usually attend church. Lately Iv'e been emphasizi...
(Quote) Theresa-911246 said:

Hi David, Sunday is our family day and we usually attend church. Lately Iv'e been emphasizing the bibles teachings and meaning behind it. Of course while the young man stays here he will be included when we pray. He's been to church with us and you could tell he was a little overwhelmed. The church is beautiful with its stained glass windows that are entrancing. When we arrived I asked if he knew how to make the sign of the cross and he said no. I showed him a few times and to my shock, he made the sign of the cross upside down. Of course I quickly had him do it the right way. I pray the Virgin Mary give me guidence especially this Sunday.

--hide--


his world has been shaken. he needs to learn or re-learn trust. just keep praying and treat him well. keep guiding him to do the right thing and not just settle in to a comfortable routine of being cared for. he's obviously never had any solid guidance, nor has he been shown positive productive habits. help him make a plan to get on his feet then help (w/o nagging!) him to put the plan into effect.


don't read too much into the sign of the cross he made. he may have some mood disorder or mild mental illness. perhaps even some cognitive issues like dyslexia. or it could have been a distress signal like when ships fly the US flag upside down. a loving example with very few well-chosen words is the way to plant the seed. never browbeat him about the faith.


you're a good woman who's doing god's work. theheart (but be very careful not to become an enabler!)

Dec 22nd 2012 new
(Quote) Theresa-911246 said: Joanna He is handy,with essembling things. Last week I had him work with my son essembling a book case. He t...
(Quote) Theresa-911246 said:

Joanna He is handy,with essembling things. Last week I had him work with my son essembling a book case. He took the inititive, while boasting about how his uncle showed him how to build things. I am trying to keep him busy. Last night my son dropped him off at another friends house. My son tried to call him but he didnt pick up. He hasnt come back to the house and I think its because I asked him to make some phone calls and go down to the tribal offices to fill out some forms. He's stalling for some reason, do you call that stage fright? What do you call that????

--hide--


Fear, avoidance, denial. Society tells him he is a man, he can vote, go off to war and enter into a legally binding contract. His heart tells him he is a boy in need of maternal approval. Gently encourage when you can, ask him about his dreams and aspirations. The key is to get him to have a hope for his future. It is very difficult for some people to think 1 day in advance much less one year. Maybe that is a place to start, "where do you see yourself in a year from now?"
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