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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Thank you! It's such a long July, though!
(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Thank you! It's such a long July, though!
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Oh, Kathryn, if July is tough, I don't want to even tell you how hard august and september are.
((in my "prime" when he died suddenly but had a baby in my arms to buffer the blow))
13 years, .... months, .... days and counting, no ring on this finger.....................Oh God, can't believe I just took the time to figure this out!

Ray, why couldn't you have been born a few years younger?
Terry, thanks for jumping in, welcome, and I miss the passenger seat!

Carrie, you nailed it. We want mental, emotional, physical AND spiritual health and God gives us the guidelines to do it, thank you.
Yes, Kay, offering it up, watching to see what miracle God performs with my meager offering works better than anything else I have tried, watching Him perform miracles with the small and big offerings make the sacrifice more than worthwhile, it brings true JOY into my 'plugger' lifestyle - referring to the comic strip Linda, take you mind out of the gutter. laughing

This has been one of the best threads I have read, so glad I read it through from start to finish,
You are all the reason why I am still here on CM!
So human, compassionate and humble, all of you! love you all!

Jan 19th 2013 new

By the way, I have been divorced and widowed,
there are differences AND similarities, ALL could be honored if we but let Life speak.

Feb 2nd 2013 new

hug One of the benefits I found from having practiced periodic abstinence as part of NFP all through my 18-year marriage was that the discipline of waiting helps a lot now that he's gone. I wish they would remind young people of this.


I'm widowed 14 years, kids were 13, 11, 5, and 2 and 2 at the time.....

Feb 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Ok, so I'm just going to come right out with it--How do you manage yearning s for physical intimac...
(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Ok, so I'm just going to come right out with it--How do you manage yearning s for physical intimacy? This has become my biggest challenge. I never took a vow of chastity and I yearn for a physical relationship There, I said it. Am I alone in having these feelings? Kate Widowed 5 years, 7 children ages 23, 21, 18, 14, 9, 8, & 8
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Kate, I appreciate you taking the lead on this. Yeah, I wonder the same thing. I miss touch. I miss sex, but I could go forever without it vs not being the woman I am being called to be. Having said that, I am not immune. That scares me. I do not want my need for physical touch to cloud my judgment. I am reading a really good book called "Saturday Night Widows" about a bunch of young vibrant widows. Apparently, we are not alone. Not that it makes me feel better. I am too young to be in this position. Just saying. You are there with me. :)

Feb 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: (Quote) Rachel-731570 said: 1. the need for touchI give my friends lots...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Quote:
Rachel-731570 said:

1. the need for touch
I give my friends lots of hugs, my kids lots of hugs and kisses and backrubs, my cats lots of hugs.
I go to the hairdresser and just enjoy having someone's hands wash my hair, comb it out, touch and fix it (he's a guy).
I wear clothes that feel good on me -- fuzzy soft sweaters, silky nighties, snuggley clothes that comfort me, as well as invite hugs from others!
I pamper myself in little ways -- a long shower, smoothing oils and creams on my skin, etc.
I just find ways to get touched that help fill my need for touch.


I disagree with this portion of your response. While none of these things are bad in and of themselves, when we respond to the passions (using the term in a philosophical sense) in this manner, we become further enslaved to them rather than mastering them.

--hide--


nothing she described is erotically charged or a near occasion of sin. all humans need the warmth of touch. not all human contact is erotic - UNLESS that's what we make of it.


OK fine. you're right. where's my hairshirt and cilice? how stupid of me to have put on that tempting flannel shirt! mea culpa.

Feb 12th 2013 new

Not very well. Having a good marriage and then having your spouse die is worse that losing your right arm. I know, I lost my wife and my right arm. So, focus on getting married again. Is there any other really acceptable way to fix it? You can pray till something falls off and you will still want sex. So why not pray for a man, pray for a man and pray for God's help to make majic, or turn the toad into a prince.

Praying that you'll stop having the desire is not going to work and it is not healthy.


Larry

Feb 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said: Not very well. Having a good marriage and then having your spouse die is worse that losing you...
(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said:

Not very well. Having a good marriage and then having your spouse die is worse that losing your right arm. I know, I lost my wife and my right arm. So, focus on getting married again. Is there any other really acceptable way to fix it? You can pray till something falls off and you will still want sex. So why not pray for a man, pray for a man and pray for God's help to make majic, or turn the toad into a prince.

Praying that you'll stop having the desire is not going to work and it is not healthy.


Larry

--hide--


I just pray that God will either put the right person in my life, or that he will take away my need and want for that. I sit back and wait to see what he wants. Not my will but his. All I know is that the moral compass hasn't shifted and I would rather be alone than to give myself away without the love and commitment.

Feb 13th 2013 new

Interesting how people pray for solutions. We find ourselves in a situation we don't like and then ask God to help "fix it". Where does acceptance and sacrafice enter into the picture. As Catholics are we required to accept suffering? We might as well accept it, I don't think we can ever really get rid of it. Certainly, in our history as a religion, Catholics have endured much suffering.

Please don't think I am picking on anybody, I pray for God to "fix" my situations too. So did Jesus. But, just as in the case of Jesus, my prayers did not work. Sometimes God does not give us what we ask for. So when God says no, that is an answer. We need to accept it and move on.

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Ok, so I'm just going to come right out with it--How do you manage yearning s for physical intimac...
(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Ok, so I'm just going to come right out with it--How do you manage yearning s for physical intimacy? This has become my biggest challenge. I never took a vow of chastity and I yearn for a physical relationship There, I said it. Am I alone in having these feelings? Kate Widowed 5 years, 7 children ages 23, 21, 18, 14, 9, 8, & 8
--hide--


A friend of mine told me that fasting (like a black fast) is pretty much a certain cure for the desire for marital embrace. He said at some point you can get so hungry that your underlying passions turn toward food instead of the opposite sex and marital intimacy.

Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Ok, so I'm just going to come right out with it--How do you manage yearning s for physical intimac...
(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: Ok, so I'm just going to come right out with it--How do you manage yearning s for physical intimacy? This has become my biggest challenge. I never took a vow of chastity and I yearn for a physical relationship There, I said it. Am I alone in having these feelings? Kate Widowed 5 years, 7 children ages 23, 21, 18, 14, 9, 8, & 8
--hide--
Join the Club.I've been divorced/seperated annulled 16 years(two daughters)! Manage it through sacrifice,and the Sacraments.

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