Goodness Alma, I don't know what to say. Have they come to love each other unconditionally today? My parents will be celebrating their 60th this coming summer. Yes, it is true, marriage isn't always a bowl of cherries, peaches or cream as referenced by them, but they have never had the "I hate You" relationship but more like "He or She" is always right, ugh, in a joking way. I guess they respect and love each other dearly and have never in my whole life seen any disrespect. Now given, they pray the rosary every single day and probably more than one time a day.
I truly believe those that pray together stay together
Human beings can be quirky sometimes.
I think that maybe sometimes that works, but it's not the kind of relationship I think I would want.
There was a song a while back and I don't remember the name - maybe something like "Best friends with benefits"...you get the drift.
That's what I was looking for before I accidentally married the wrong guy. And, that's still on my radar. I want a best friend,
only in guy form . Sure, there will be times when things will be hot and heavy and exciting, but, relationships - ones that last forever and ever - are built on a solid foundation of friendship and respect - mutual respect.
I think that "forever" really starts at ground zero - meaning with each other. A one to one thing. In my opinion,
if I have an issue with my husband, and I have to go running to my girlfriends to discuss it because I don't feel safe enough and trust him enough, then our marriage will be in big trouble. Same for him. He should know without a doubt from my actions that he can come to me if there is an issue with our relationship BEFORE he even thinks of going to a friend or someone else. He needs to feel safe enough with me to do that. My job is to make sure he feels accepted and loved enough realize that he can tell me anything, and I will always be on "his side", even if the issue with me.
His job is to treat me in such a way that, of all the people in my life, I know that I can trust him the most.
The way I figure it, even saying "his side" or "her side" - well, there is just ONE side in a good relationship, and that is OUR side.
"Love/hate" can work, but not well. They don't work well because neither party ever feels safe enough to really
share his or her heart and soul with the other person. They may get close, but they can't become one like it says in the marriage vows.
Alma Rosa, I think that if you create a deep friendship with your partner....then the rest falls into place.....
My friend's father used to say:
If you want to be happy for an hour, take a nap.
If you want to be happy for a day, go fishing.
If you want to be happy for a week, rent a cottage at the beach.
If you want to be happy for a month, GET MARRIED.
If you want to be happy for a lifetime, SERVE OTHERS!!
Despite the sharp humor, the message is clear and applies to marriages as well. If we want to be happy, we get out of ourselves and do what we can for others. Nothing else ensures happiness so much as this. When we focus on ourselves and our own unmet needs, we become resentful.
I think also if people are looking for someone to make them happy, they'll be sorely disappointed. David's statement makes sense, take care of your partner. My maid of honor and our best man had a relationship where it seemed they were mean and insulting, but it works for them. They just had their 50th anniversary and couldn't be more in love. While I would want to celebrate many anniversaries, insults won't work for me. I think it is great they are so secure in their relationship they can be like that, though. Each couple is different.
Excellent advice from Brian.
Went to church this evening and there was a couple there celebrating their 59th anniversay another.There was another who were 41 yrs married already who I remember going off to 5:30am weekly Mass.
As Fr Stan sang:
F orget about me
M e 'cause