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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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This is a piggyback post...


Besides the stereotypical "man stuff," like changing a flat tire, fixing a toilet, and carrying heavy things for us, how else can we show we need you? Of course I can open doors for myself, but I like when a guy does it. I can pay for myself, but it's nicer when a guy does it. I can bring my own jacket, but it's sweet when a guy offers his. I think, though, women are so used to doing things on our own that we need to think, "Wait, let him do this FOR me." With opening doors, even total strangers seem to do that down here, so that's more commonplace, but with other things, we actually need to stop and think. Just wondering...

12/26/2012 new

Might be hard to these days. Some ladies find it insulting to hold the door open for them. (post feminist culture)

12/26/2012 new

I'd piggyback this piggback post with the question, "And is NEEDING you better than just wanting YOU in our lives?" I was just talking about this with a CMer yesterday. Do you want us to need you because of the tasks you can take care of for us, or do you feel better when it's the intangibles we want you for--just that we love who you are and want you around us? (I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say here.)

12/26/2012 new
(Quote) Lina-796057 said: I'd piggyback this piggback post with the question, "And is NEEDING you better than just wanting YOU in...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:

I'd piggyback this piggback post with the question, "And is NEEDING you better than just wanting YOU in our lives?" I was just talking about this with a CMer yesterday. Do you want us to need you because of the tasks you can take care of for us, or do you feel better when it's the intangibles we want you for--just that we love who you are and want you around us? (I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say here.)

--hide--


Isn't there a fine line between needing a man in our lives and being 'needy????

Hmmmmm
12/26/2012 new

Hi Lina! I used to tell a former boyfriend that I wanted him to need me because he wanted me not want me because he needed me! I think we all need other people - wanting someone is a little different. To add to that, I don't know how to care about someone without doing things for them. Chelle

12/26/2012 new

(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: Isn't there a fine line between needing a man in our lives and being 'needy???? ...
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said:

Isn't there a fine line between needing a man in our lives and being 'needy????

Hmmmmm
--hide--


EXACTLY!!!!!!!

12/26/2012 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: This is a piggyback post... Besides the stereotypical "man stuff," like chang...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:

This is a piggyback post...


Besides the stereotypical "man stuff," like changing a flat tire, fixing a toilet, and carrying heavy things for us, how else can we show we need you? Of course I can open doors for myself, but I like when a guy does it. I can pay for myself, but it's nicer when a guy does it. I can bring my own jacket, but it's sweet when a guy offers his. I think, though, women are so used to doing things on our own that we need to think, "Wait, let him do this FOR me." With opening doors, even total strangers seem to do that down here, so that's more commonplace, but with other things, we actually need to stop and think. Just wondering...

--hide--

Tara - great post! It IS hard sometimes to remember to step back and let the man BE the man! They should do those things for us, even if we're used to being fairly independent. I think the older gents are more prone to automatically behave that way - the younger ones have taken more unfair hits from the feminists, sadly, and it's made them gun shy. I don't blame them.

I consciously have to stop and think - make myself hold back so they can get the door, or carry something heavy, or help me with my coat, or whatever. I really do appreciate every single gesture and kindness from a gentleman - even if I can do it myself.

We're all happier when we feel needed, as well as wanted. A little appreciation goes a long way hug

12/26/2012 new

(Quote) Mary-363093 said: Tara - great post! It IS hard sometimes to remember to step back and let the man BE the m...
(Quote) Mary-363093 said:

Tara - great post! It IS hard sometimes to remember to step back and let the man BE the man! They should do those things for us, even if we're used to being fairly independent. I think the older gents are more prone to automatically behave that way - the younger ones have taken more unfair hits from the feminists, sadly, and it's made them gun shy. I don't blame them.

I consciously have to stop and think - make myself hold back so they can get the door, or carry something heavy, or help me with my coat, or whatever. I really do appreciate every single gesture and kindness from a gentleman - even if I can do it myself.

We're all happier when we feel needed, as well as wanted. A little appreciation goes a long way

--hide--


My high school male students tend to get every door for me. Of course, I lay it on thick, "Wow, thank you SO much. You're such a GENTLEMAN. I appreciate YOU doing this!" Of course, it's genuine, but I know they thrive on the attention, so I don't just say thank you. lol

12/26/2012 new

(Quote) Joseph-841276 said: Might be hard to these days. Some ladies find it insulting to hold the door open for them. (post...
(Quote) Joseph-841276 said:

Might be hard to these days. Some ladies find it insulting to hold the door open for them. (post feminist culture)

--hide--


That's a shame. Maybe it's more "accepted" here instead of being "insulting" because it's the South. Hmmm...


I guess you could always ask, "Can I get the door for you?" But, really, you shouldn't have to worry that it's insulting. Sorry. :(

12/26/2012 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: That's a shame. Maybe it's more "accepted" here instead of being "insulting...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:

That's a shame. Maybe it's more "accepted" here instead of being "insulting" because it's the South. Hmmm...


--hide--


I grew up in the northeast, but I lived most of my adult live in Texas and now I'm back in the northeast and this is one of the cultural difference that jumped out right away. Doing things like opening doors for women in Texas is welcomed and appreciated, but doing the same thing in the northeast as generally been greeted with awkwardness.

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