Tara - great post! It IS hard sometimes to remember to step back and let the man BE the man! They should do those things for us, even if we're used to being fairly independent. I think the older gents are more prone to automatically behave that way - the younger ones have taken more unfair hits from the feminists, sadly, and it's made them gun shy. I don't blame them.
I'm one of those 'older gents', and yes, we learned to show honor and respect for women in those ways when we were young. We were never taught to think of women as less capable, helpless, or weak - an accusation I face quite often when I respectfully open a door for a female. I continue to show honor and respect for women, young and old, in these ways. The ladies - and I make the distinction between ladies and women - irrespective of age, appreciate the gesture, even though some of them appear to be surprised by such treatment.
I think ladies should expect to be treated as such. As the character Liza in My Fair Lady says, "The difference between a flower girl and a lady is not how she behaves, but how she's treated". Gentlemen, if you want to date and marry a lady, treat her like one.