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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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12/27/2012 new

Hi Ray! I was thinking about this as I was out walking this evening looking at Christmas lights (I'm in southern California, right now!). I believe we all have our ideal mate. (If the world were perfect and so were they!) Then, there are our preferences. As someone mentioned earlier, we also have a list of non-negotiables. Of course, there are many other things that factor into the forming of a relationship - morals and values, physical appearance, sets of behaviors, family and friends, etc. I think it comes down to how important certain things are to us and where we are willing to land in the mixture. I don't think anyone should settle, but I do believe we need to recognize the fact that we are all human. Yesterday, my friend was telling me about an advertisement or commercial he saw of two sets of couples in an embrace. The first couple was two very beautiful people. The caption read, "Who we think we are." The other picture was of two regular looking people. The caption read, "Who we really are." Chelle

12/27/2012 new

(Quote) Chris-921139 said: I have been on here and other dating websites and seems most ladies my age have a list of what th...
(Quote) Chris-921139 said:

I have been on here and other dating websites and seems most ladies my age have a list of what they. I tend not to fit into their list as I am starting a business and live at home after finishing school last year.

Personally this why I have found it better to date older woman who are just looking for a nice guy.


I am wondering if this is just me or do other singles find that a lot of people have a list. If God is in control it is pointless for us to have a list.

--hide--


Well, who knows for sure, but I tend to think that most women's "lists" include having a guy stick around long enough for dialogue.


You're certainly not going to endear yourself to any woman if you ask a question and disappear immediately after asking, as you've done the last three times you've posted a topic in here. If this is a reflective trait then I would guess that your biggest problem would have something to do with communication.


Just a thought.


theheart

12/27/2012 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: Hi Ray! I was thinking about this as I was out walking this evening looking at Christmas lights ...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:

Hi Ray! I was thinking about this as I was out walking this evening looking at Christmas lights (I'm in southern California, right now!). I believe we all have our ideal mate. (If the world were perfect and so were they!) Then, there are our preferences. As someone mentioned earlier, we also have a list of non-negotiables. Of course, there are many other things that factor into the forming of a relationship - morals and values, physical appearance, sets of behaviors, family and friends, etc. I think it comes down to how important certain things are to us and where we are willing to land in the mixture. I don't think anyone should settle, but I do believe we need to recognize the fact that we are all human. Yesterday, my friend was telling me about an advertisement or commercial he saw of two sets of couples in an embrace. The first couple was two very beautiful people. The caption read, "Who we think we are." The other picture was of two regular looking people. The caption read, "Who we really are." Chelle

--hide--
Chelle -- let me add something to the equation. There are actually 3 of each of us:

#1. How we see ourselves;

#2. How others see us;

#3. How we really are......

Granted there are some non-negotiables that are mainly in the moral behavior area, and I'm not suggesting foregoing those. It's other areas that can be mind-opening. They are primarily in the areas of personal interests, hobbies and enjoyed activities. Even if we don't participate in them for reasons of disinterest or inability, we can be supportive of a potential mate's interest in them. It might not be what we first wanted or hoped for, but we can find them compatible, even though they are quite opoosite. Rather than be a naysayer, we can at least give it a try.

12/27/2012 new

Hi Ray! I absolutely agree! (And I forgot about how others see us - good point!). I've always wanted to be with someone who shared some of my interests and had other interests of his own. Hopefully, the same would be true in reverse. Then, both of us would get to show the other some of what else makes us happy, and both of our lives would be broader and better for it! Please don't lambaste me for this gents, but most of my issue with men (and a number of my same-age girlfriends!) is that I find them extremely boring...if I wanted to sit on the couch every night and watch television, I could do that by myself. I don't need someone else eating my food and using my bathroom and hogging the remote control!! I'm a very active person; I want someone to share my life with me. To a certain degree, that means participating in activities. If he is at home watching TV and I'm out doing my things, what's the point of the relationship?!?! (Of course, all other things being considered and everything being equal!) Chelle

12/27/2012 new

I guess I have 2 lists -- a list of musts and a list of must nots!

Must:
love God above all
be kind to children and old people
must follow church teaching
must smile more than frown
must at least minimally care for himself physically, mentally, spiritually
must share with me some interests and pleasures

Must not:
smoke
drink to excess
look at porn
be unfaithful
be abusive to people or animals

are these too restrictive???

12/27/2012 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: Hi Ray! I absolutely agree! (And I forgot about how others see us - good point!). I've alway...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:

Hi Ray! I absolutely agree! (And I forgot about how others see us - good point!). I've always wanted to be with someone who shared some of my interests and had other interests of his own. Hopefully, the same would be true in reverse. Then, both of us would get to show the other some of what else makes us happy, and both of our lives would be broader and better for it! Please don't lambaste me for this gents, but most of my issue with men (and a number of my same-age girlfriends!) is that I find them extremely boring...if I wanted to sit on the couch every night and watch television, I could do that by myself. I don't need someone else eating my food and using my bathroom and hogging the remote control!! I'm a very active person; I want someone to share my life with me. To a certain degree, that means participating in activities. If he is at home watching TV and I'm out doing my things, what's the point of the relationship?!?! (Of course, all other things being considered and everything being equal!) Chelle

--hide--
You can be perfectly compatible with a couch potato -- IF you're content with doing nearly everything by yourself or with friends instead of a husband -- OR both of you can enter each other's world to share a part of it. You can take time to breathe occasionally; he can get off his tail end and do something you like to do. No nagging from either one of you though -- just encouragement.

12/27/2012 new

(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: I guess I have 2 lists -- a list of musts and a list of must nots! Must:love God abov...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said:

I guess I have 2 lists -- a list of musts and a list of must nots!

Must:
love God above all
be kind to children and old people
must follow church teaching
must smile more than frown
must at least minimally care for himself physically, mentally, spiritually
must share with me some interests and pleasures

Must not:
smoke
drink to excess
look at porn
be unfaithful
be abusive to people or animals

are these too restrictive???

--hide--


Great List Rachel.

12/27/2012 new

I think that figuring out what one's list of expectations is, and then deciding if these are really "non-negotiables" is the challenge. I think I have a list of expectations that is probably rather idealistic and I haven't really stopped to think whether all of these qualities are all really that important. But having a plan for the future (which includes gainful employment) is probably a non-negotiable most women have, as it indicates that they man is actually ready for a relationship.

12/27/2012 new
I don't have a list!

A gentleman who is a practicing Catholic, active in his parish, has a good prayer life, has integrity, a strong work ethic, a strong conscience, and conservative values would be very attractive to me. I am looking for someone who is grounded and level-headed. Because I love to help others, I am looking for someone who shares my humanitarian values. Someone with a good sense of humor would be very attractive to me. I am seeking a husband that will be active in our parish and pray the Rosary with me on a regular basis. MOST OF ALL, I am looking for a beautiful soul.

I am looking for a gentleman who can make decisions and be the leader in the family. One who also understands that the wife is an equal partner. I view marriage as a team effort and as a give-and-take. Sometimes, the wife must give 75% of the total effort. Sometimes, the husband must give 75% and feed himself. Marriage is team effort, knowing when to compromise.

I look forward to marrying my best friend. I look forward to knowing that I am your best friend. After all, we are supposed to marry our best Catholic friend. I am looking for someone who is actively looking for The Love of his Life and who is not afraid of commitment. YOU will be the Love of MY Life. So, I am looking for someone who will help me become "The Best Version of Myself." In return, I want to be able to help you become "The Best Version of Yourself." I am looking for someone that will challenge me to be a better person and a better Catholic. I believe that being Catholic is a special gift to us. Especially to those of us who are converts. The Sacraments of The Eucharist, Reconciliation and Marriage are a very important part of our faith. The gentleman that I am looking for must be able to marry in the Catholic Church, go to Confession, and receive Communion on a regular basis. I hope to meet you soon!

I am looking for a gentleman who is actively looking for me. I invite you to add me as one of your favorites and take my interview. CM does not inform members of every view. If you do not message me, I may never know that you stopped by. Please start the line of communication: emote, chat, or message me. I will respond. I am not currently courting/dating anyone at this time. Would you like to change that?

12/27/2012 new

I do have a list which changes depending on the man. However, smoking and drinking (drinking to excess is one of the reasons my last relationship did not last) are deal breakers though. He must be a practicing Catholic who lives his faith not just talks about it. Of course, he must be financially stable and responsible as I am. Drugs are a no no. And gambling/betting are definitely warning signs for me to stay away.

But I think all of the above are a lot of peoples "must haves". But when we list them, it sounds long. But I think every relationship can teach us what we want and don't want in our next relationship. Each relationship has its gives and takes. It is up to each of us to decide how much give and take we have - to - with - and for that person.

It is really important though to pray about it. I think I will let God handle that for me.

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