Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

I'm a bit of a curious one. Computer programmer, geek of all trades, but also someone who enjoys camping, kayaking, sailing, swimming and biking. Not so much expecting an answer as much as positing a quandry to the world. There are two dating sites I frequent: Catholic Match is one, and Geek2Geek is the other. Personally, I prefer the style and layout, and inhabitants of CM. When I search through people in my area, I see plenty of kind individuals listed, but unfortunately no one seems to identify as a gamer beyond enjoying the occaisional movie. On the other hand, when I go to gk2gk, I see plenty of matches for women who are into Harry Potter, Doctor Who, video gaming and the like, but not one, not one who is Catholic.

This raises an interesting (if false) dichotomy. The appearance is that being geeky and being Catholic are mutually exclusive, but I don't buy that. Am I putting too much weight into common interest? I was always taught (and I firmly believe) that there can be no love without friendship, and friendships are formed on the basis of common (or at least compatible) interest. Religion is something I can't compromise on in a relationship (I tried once and it didn't end well, even though the Church would have allowed the wedding), but on the same note, I feel someone who isn't a geek is going to be put off by my hobbies, since roleplaying, gaming etc carries such a social stigma to it.


Am I crazy, or am I making this harder than it has to be?



Dec 27th 2012 new
(Quote) Craig-883532 said: I'm a bit of a curious one. Computer programmer, geek of all trades, but also someone who enjoys camping, k...
(Quote) Craig-883532 said:

I'm a bit of a curious one. Computer programmer, geek of all trades, but also someone who enjoys camping, kayaking, sailing, swimming and biking. Not so much expecting an answer as much as positing a quandry to the world. There are two dating sites I frequent: Catholic Match is one, and Geek2Geek is the other. Personally, I prefer the style and layout, and inhabitants of CM. When I search through people in my area, I see plenty of kind individuals listed, but unfortunately no one seems to identify as a gamer beyond enjoying the occaisional movie. On the other hand, when I go to gk2gk, I see plenty of matches for women who are into Harry Potter, Doctor Who, video gaming and the like, but not one, not one who is Catholic.





This raises an interesting (if false) dichotomy. The appearance is that being geeky and being Catholic are mutually exclusive, but I don't buy that. Am I putting too much weight into common interest? I was always taught (and I firmly believe) that there can be no love without friendship, and friendships are formed on the basis of common (or at least compatible) interest. Religion is something I can't compromise on in a relationship (I tried once and it didn't end well, even though the Church would have allowed the wedding), but on the same note, I feel someone who isn't a geek is going to be put off by my hobbies, since roleplaying, gaming etc carries such a social stigma to it.




Am I crazy, or am I making this harder than it has to be?







--hide--


You are going to hear this a lot. You are young yet, give it some time. While you are here, you may develop some less than geeky interests that a non geeky girl would be drawn to. And i have no doubt, that if done with care and patience, you could probably teach a non geeky girl a geeky thing or two.

Blessings
Dec 27th 2012 new

You are young and I am not, lol, so this may not speak to you, but 'gamer' is not attractive to many women because playing is for children, not men. Now wait -- we all need play and fun times, but the addiction to computer or video games seems to be so prevalent in young men and it takes their focus off become 'men' of responsibility and position. Many gamers are too busy gaming to finish college or search for a good job or get off the computer long enough to be a good spouse much less good father to children. And that is just a generalization, but it might be part of the problem. Gamers are generally not thinking of living good lives in real life but playing good lives in fantasy games that will not help them in real life. Now, reading your profile, you seem well-rounded and not typical of the stereotype, so who knows? But since gaming is not looked at as a great quality in a women, to most people (?), then you will not find it listed in their profile, at least prominantly. Does this make any sense? My 19yo daughter agrees.

Dec 27th 2012 new

I understand the logic, certainly. I never actually thought of it like that to be honest. I've always viewed them as hobbies, not things to interrupt what is important, but worth spending free time on. I suppose it isn't true of everyone - I've certainly known the type you speak of and most of them migrate to World of Warcraft. Thank you for your insight.

Dec 27th 2012 new

I'm glad you started this topic. I have found that finding Catholic geeks is very difficult. In my opinion, it seems that the culture of being "cool" has seeped in. That is why I don't go to "Theology on Tap"; it's all the metropolitan types. Nerds are simply "not cool" in the eyes of today's world. You see, most people are only capable of thinking about things relating to sexuality(brought on by the sexual revolution). The reason for this is that most folk have not trained their minds in a fashion that wil develop the intellect; they never study anything or want to learn anything, unless it's related to sex. If your journey is hard, I want to encourage you to stay the course, as Jesus said in Matt 7:13:

"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.

Dec 27th 2012 new

Greg -- I have 6 kids -- ages 25, 22, 19, 16, 10, and 7 -- and they are all geeks!! they are not all gamers -- only my 22 is a gamer and he dropped out of school and spends almost all free time gaming -- he does work a full time job that pays enough to get by sharing a house with a few others of the same type. My oldest is a computer geek -- writes programs, etc -- IFTTT is his company! but he doesn't 'waste time' gaming. He makes a much better prospect for a woman than my second son at this time.

Dec 27th 2012 new

I meant that geeks can be awesome people -- my 10yo just came up to me to show me the language she just made up for the people in a book she is writing -- but gaming can be such a timesuck and mindsuck that it is not attractive.

Dec 27th 2012 new

Craig, I think that there are all kinds of "geeks" out there, and some are "gamers", and some are just plain good old "nerds"....That said, from this old lady's perspective, I LOVE nerds---I was married to one for many years! I am still attracted to nerds/geeks of a certain nature--frankly, my knees crumble around scientists of every kind, especially those outdoorsy geology/botany/oceanography/physicis types. faint Computer geeks and bankers also make me a tingly inside! wink

I would think that there are plenty of women at Catholic Universities, who are majoring in the fields of Science, Engineering, Economics/Finance, and Artificial Intelligence. Have you tried the chat rooms there? Headed out to a weekend workshop offered in one of the related fields? Gotta be some wonderful opportunities waiting for you! Good luck and God bless! crossfingers

Dec 27th 2012 new

Catholics geeks are very much in existence and I think Beverly has some solid advice for you...


On a slightly unrelated side note, one of these days I want to put my nerd hat in place and go to Comic-Con...

Dec 27th 2012 new
Congrats to your son on forming his own company.
Posts 1 - 10 of 32