Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
Something just occured to me going through the above was the words Puritan, Oliver Cromwell, Persecution and discrimination, Prohibition and Al Caponne
Ok, this is for real, b/c I'm tired of seeing it and well I guess I'm complaining a little but more just concerned. There are 2 commonalities that I see constantly on profiles of women on here that, frankly, might have better luck on match.com.
1) you have pictures in your profile with you at a bar drinking; or you have more than 1 picture on here with alcohol in it.
2) you have pictures in your profile showing off cleevege and/or short/tight fitting dresses/clothing that looks too 'pop' culture
Ok first, I am in no way a prude about drinking, I like alcohol on occassion and enjoy it at events, but certainly not daily or often for that mater. Is the first thing you ladies want to covey to a future partner, that 'hey i'm cool' I drink, yea I have fun! Thats probably a horrible way to start a pickup line...hey is your fav. drink a hot toddie b/c you certainly look tasty...I mean lets be real. If you are 'tired of meeting the same kind of guy at bars' then you come on here and post bar pictures, I'm confused, do you not like the bar scene or do you just not like the guys at the bar scene, which when I last checked was the only reason to go to a bar is to meet people of the opposite sex, you certainly don't go for the overpriced alcohol do you? If you do haha well I guess you are not really worth it either, lol, no offense...maybe
Secondly, you want to attract a good, wholesome guy, who doesn't oogle over every living and breathing thing that walks by him, Treats you with respect, and upholds your dignity, and yet you have pictures that show off 75% of your breasts/legs. Modest is hottest. When I say modest, I don't mean wear a full ninja suit like the muslim women, b/c thats rediculous but, wear something that covers up 100% of your chest and at least 50% of your legs. If we need to see more of either, it will come on our wedding night. I am all for dressing fashionably and its quite attractive actually when women dress very nice and coordinate and look put together. I have a friend who is married now but came to work every day very nicely put together, women, can you help me out here?
yes, really. why do you assume such women are wrong or bad? those are the times a camera is being used. watch how YOUR mind works.
the women don't need to be more virtuous - YOU DO!
Here are a few more:
Vatican Decrees on Modesty in Dress:
Standards of Modesty in Dress:
Notification Concerning Men's Dress Worn by Women:
Those Who Serve God Should Not Follow the Fashions:
The Corruption of Morals Through Immodest fashion:
Finding Your Worth, Avoiding Sin -- Dressing With Dignity:
Sorry Jerry. Don't blame women. You have no one to blame BUT YOURSELF if a woman's attire leads you to sin.
I lived in Saudi Arabia for 2 years in the late 1980's. Even covered from head to toe in a burkha, there were certain women who drove the men wild. It's NOT the woman's fault if we can't control ourselves. Let's not shift the blame. That is an infantile reaction.
Ya know, this whole modest thread seems so cliché. Thank you Jerry for keeping us on the straight and narrow but I think Tara got your point the first time. Poor Tara, did ya get that aspirin? I would probably prefer a martini after this one even though I can’t stand them.
First of all anyone who meets up at their local watering hole are NOT looking for a man or are Raging alcoholics. That is so biased. It is to socialize with friends and the locals. If a man looks at me at the local watering hole and thinks I’m there to get picked up or makes in appropriate passes, boy are they in for a surprise and Oh Boy, I have no problem showing it! I dress like the church lady so it doesn't matter what you wear, some men are still PIGS!
And no we don’t have I’m Catholic written on our foreheads, but by our demeanor and how we carry ourselves and by admitting it, they sure know it always by the end of our conversation! But how you carry yourself in public, and on Facebook, is probably more likely the Real You!
Yes, I have seen sleaze bags at the bar and yes they probably have been around the block a few too many times, but that doesn't mean
every woman is there for a pickup. We just need to pray for them.
Believe it or not, I’m in sales, and made a lot of business deals through my local charity ;) And when I’m with a group of woman, trust me, we are there to talk about our horrible experiences on dating websites and sleazy men which unfortunately there are way too many, ugh. At least not on here As Much.
But it totally discourages me when men send provocative pictures and think that’s what a woman wants to see or that's all they want:(
Plzzzz. It is degrading and humuliating and you wonder what the heck is wrong with them!
And, yes, the bathroom photos with the wife beater shirts, cmon or no shirts with them trying to flex, LOL, is disgusting and they don't even have abs like Ryan Reynolds:( and more like a beer belly!!!
The monster trucks, boats and RV’s, etc., and Harley bikes. Yup, that’s what us women want to see, geeze…
Amish people have their own style and religion and God loves them, but Thank you God for giving me a choice in fashion, whew. I would get so bored wearing the same thing everyone else does. But God also gave us fashion and trusts in each and everyone of us to be modest and to not dress
like lady gaga, Britney spears, or whomever are poor examples. I want my teenagers to dress modest and I lead a good example and they do so it is good to hear comments from young ones on here. OK, I am guilty on a hot summer's day of wearing shorts and short sleeve shirts and yes, a bathing suit when I swim:( But I don't find this immodest, only if I go to church with shorts in front of the sacristy, than I would feel under dressed for the Lord in his house!
Just remember, first impressions aren't everything and get to know someone on the inside makes all the difference in the world. I wouldn't say holding a beer in your hand means you’re a raging alcoholic on your social websites.
If someone dresses sleazy and we all have seen the “Sleazy Look” and know it, that will tell you to run because yes they have problems…
Sorry so long…Rambling too much here! I know. I like short and sweet myself:(
On what objective standards do you base these opinions?
Well, for one thing, they dress alike in order to take the focus off the individual and blend in with a community. the community is, in a sense, superior to an individual, whereas in our faith, they are both equally important. I am by no means dissing their way of life or those of other communities/faiths with different modesty practices. just wanted to point out that other religious cover for different reasons, and I personally am Catholic and follow what the Curch believes and teaches because it is the truth.
I don't think strapless dresses are neccessarily immodest. I'm a bridesmaid for my friend's(a Catholic btw) wedding and we have a one shoulder dress which just hits the knee. The wedding will be in July and I think the dress looks modest. My friend's wedding dress is strapless but it is not revealing. I think strapless looks can be very classy. It's all in how you wear the outfit. A tee shirt and jeans look can be very promiscous if done in a certain way.
At one time, our Diocesan office said no bare shoulders. Period. The bridesmaids could wear fabric, jackets, or transparent fabric over them, and if the bride's dress was adequately free of cleavage AND she wore a veil draping over her shoulders, it met the requirement. These rules were never really lifted, but discarded, because of the fact that strapless exploded and brides couldn't find many selections that weren't strapless. Too bad for the Church.
I don't consider pants, immodest, though. Even a below the knee skirt can shift or become immodest unintentionally with standing and kneeling or shifting positions.
Why not wear off the shoulder (i.e. Jackie Kennedy) if you want to show neck and arms, but still have a bridal gown without cleavage?
Just to add some humor to this topic, Brian, here are ten reasons to go to a bar, none of which involve going for the opposite sex, as you so put it:
1) Kareoke: Find me a kareoke place that is not in a bar
2) Watching sports that are not on your local tv
3) Networking opportunities (even with a few drinks--people can usually offer some decent advice and as long as you are not smashed and appear presentable--it can benefit you and you can make connections)
4) The food: many bars actually have decent food
5) A place to socialize with friends: nothing wrong with this
6) Some of that overpriced alchol actually taste quite good (microbreweries)
7) They might have lier's dice cups (anyone ever played this game--it's quite fun and is briefly shown in the Pirates of the Carabean Part II)
8) Get a free drink on your birthday (some states prohibit this practice but in California, it is allowed)
9) It helps stimulate the the economy and provide jobs
10) It's just nice to get out of the house.
I have a Catholic friend who is a devout young woman (she is seeing someone else) who usually wears skirts (to the knee or below) and is conservative, but wears tasteful make-up and jewelry, and appears up-to-date. She doesn't believe, for herself, in drinking. She goes to bars to sing karaoke, but drinks non-alcoholic beverages. . . I don't see anything wrong with this. . . . or any of the rest of William's list. . .
Brian, after rethinking your rantings and the picture you used for your profile, I've come to the conclusion that if one of my daughters or nieces brought home a copy of this thread with your less than appropriate picture and holier than thou rantings, my advice to them would be to leave the Catholic Taliban for some other poor soul to suffer through life with and search for a man who may have some of the same view points of propriety that you have, but more humility and people skills.
You might want to rethink your approach to wife hunting and consider using more honey and less vinegar.
Awww... I feel like I'm in a battle and need to get on the "neutral ground"... (New Orleans shout-out, anyone?) I think Brian had good intentions. I really do. When people get defensive, though, things can get heated.
Let's just all take a time out and laugh about the Saints season and the fact that they won't be in the Super Bowl this year even though we're hosting it.
Oh wait, now I'm depressed.
Don't worry -- I won't be giving you another piece of paper to hang on the wall regardless of how you answer. I know that would creep out some of the CM guys who might otherwise consider dating you.
Okay, for the people who have been messaging me to support me and make sure I'm okay... I appreciate it, really! lol But Jerry and I are picking on each other, and it's fine... really! I know I can "rock the modest-cute style," and it's all good.
Now, for Jerry's other remarks, y'all can deal with those!
For those men who blame women's attire for their own uncontrollable lust, I pose the following question:
What would your reaction be if the priest took you aside one day after mass and said that a male parishioner who struggles with same-sex attraction complained that your attire was distracting/tempting him during Mass and leading him to commit various sins of impurity afterwards?
How would you feel if the priest then ordered you to wear looser trousers, long sleeves, and a top which adequately covers your rear end?
Are YOU to blame for the other guy's reaction???