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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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12/31/2012 new

Hi Brian,


I'm new on here and your post caught my attention. I am not one to judge but I have been in places less than appropriate. I know what I want in a man but I can honestly say that I have not always known that. I thought the right way was dressing provocatively and showing more than is appropriate. Then I came to meet some really important people in my life and they showed me how the best person is not going to be the man in the bar scene. Now please don't get me wrong, I'm all for having fun but there is a time and place for that and not for you to broadcast it on a public forum.

I think the women that place those kinds of pictures on here know what there heart's desire is (which Christ implanted on her heart) but she doesn't know where to find them. So she resorts to the breast and legs showing. I mean I am on here and I should not be giving advice but I have been down the road of not always doing the right thing and now have changed my life around for the best in the world (for now).


I hope my ramblings make sense. The women that are posting those kinds of pictures are not loving themselves and when they are they are hoping to have different outcomes.


Hopefully this helps a little


Mindy

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12/31/2012 new

(Quote) William-913283 said: Just to add some humor to this topic, Brian, here are ten reasons to go to a bar, none of which...
(Quote) William-913283 said:

Just to add some humor to this topic, Brian, here are ten reasons to go to a bar, none of which involve going for the opposite sex, as you so put it:


1) Kareoke: Find me a kareoke place that is not in a bar

2) Watching sports that are not on your local tv

3) Networking opportunities (even with a few drinks--people can usually offer some decent advice and as long as you are not smashed and appear presentable--it can benefit you and you can make connections)

4) The food: many bars actually have decent food

5) A place to socialize with friends: nothing wrong with this

6) Some of that overpriced alchol actually taste quite good (microbreweries)

7) They might have lier's dice cups (anyone ever played this game--it's quite fun and is briefly shown in the Pirates of the Carabean Part II)

8) Get a free drink on your birthday (some states prohibit this practice but in California, it is allowed)

9) It helps stimulate the the economy and provide jobs

10) It's just nice to get out of the house.

--hide--
William you forgot something, pool. Its my secret,well I guess not anymore. I don't frequent the bars, but every once in a while I just have to play pool. No, I dont go waring a toob top and always go with someone. I would ware a Zorro mask if I could get away with it. I order a rootbeer on the rocks and fish and chips. Most of the patrons are more than willing to oblige me at a game of pool, as its all in good fun.

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01/01/2013 new

AMEN Brother!!!


It is fascinating to me that women illicit attention through dressing immodestly and then complain about the type of guys that are lusting after them. Yes some women dress to make themselves feel good, and it's not meant for any man to lust over. Yes some women only go out with their girlfriends to have a good time and sing kareoke, play some pool, or just have a few drinks while having great conversation. But I think the point that Brian's trying to make (correct me if I'm wrong)... is that no matter where we are, or what we're doing... the only person we should be worrying about in terms of our dress is the Lord. He made us as individual beautiful beings who are temples of His Holy Spirit. Christ lives IN us!!! If we then are looking for a Christ filled man (as this site would suggest)... how much more so should we be respecting the temple that God gave us. God gave us a beautiful temple that it is our responsibility to protect and keep sacred.

"You can recognize women who are grateful to be a daughter of God by their outward appearance. These women understand their stewardship over their bodies and treat them with dignity. They care for their bodies as they would a holy temple, for they understand the Lord's teaching: 'Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?' (1 Cor. 3:16). Women who love God would never abuse or deface a temple with graffiti. Nor would they throw open the doors of that holy, dedicated edifice and invite the world to look on. How even more sacred is the body, for it was not made by man. It was formed by God. We are the stewards, the keepers of the cleanliness and purity with which it came from heaven. . . .

Margaret D. Nadauld, "The Joy of Womanhood," Ensign, Nov. 2000, 15



I think in terms of Brian's other points... first impression's are really important. I certainly feel that when looking at a profile I get a feel of what each guy's life is like through his pictures. If the only pictures I see are of him in different outfits in front of his bathroom mirror... I'm going to think that he doesn't get out much!!! haha. Granted I recognize that that doesn't mean he LIVES in front of his bathroom mirror.. but it does kind of make you wonder why he doesn't have any pictures out with friends or with family. The same can be said for pictures at a bar. If everyone of your pictures is at a bar... it's going to make me think that most if not all of your spare time is spent out with friends at a bar. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, but you have to think what kind of men are you going to attract? Maybe it will be the man of your dreams... I don't know. But for me... I want to know that a man is well balanced.. I want to see him in many different settings... and most certainly in a modest and holy light.

The last thing I have to say is just a HUGE thank you to Brian for having the courage to write this post! clap clap clap Modest is hottest. And it baffles me to have women on here who are down right mocking him for stating exactly what the church teaches!!!! Don't be moved or shaken Brian... your sisters in Christ greatly appreciate your fervor for our protection! It is so encouraging to know that men are still out there who appreciate the fact that I want to protect and keep sacred my body for my future husband!


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01/01/2013 new

Emily,

thank you...I am indeed speaking about what you are portraying on your profile in public to attract others, that is 100% of what your profile is meant for on this site. On facebook, thats different, but this isn't facebook, so should you have pictures of you drinking booze the entire time in 50% of your pictures, no, unless you spend 50% of your life at the bar, in which case, go for it. But ladies, gentlemen, THE BAR IS NOT THE PLACE TO MEET YOUR FUTURE WIFE, that quote and idea is WELL known all throghout dating sites, so be mindful of what you are hoping to get from your pictures.

Personally I feel like anymore than 5-10 pictures is getting on the verge of rediculous but thats just me. Advice for you profile makers, keep it short, simple, yet make a strong impression and be clear. Hopes, dreams, desires can be on the page but, dont make any of those sections too long. We want to message back and forth to get to know you, don't let your profile tell others to back off or leave them with no opening to know more. Just saying yall

PS - When you dress, modest is hottest, the less you show, the more beautiful often times you will be. Help us men who struggle against impurity each day through impure ads on TV, Magazines, or on the internet.

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01/01/2013 new

I don't know what you consider revealing, but modesty is different for every person and culture. If you live in a really southern or tropical climate you might be showing some more skin than those living in the Midwest or up North because it gets to be 100 degrees down here!!! Some men don't mind their significant other wearing more "pop"ish clothes. My advice would be, to realize that this is something you really value and not approach these women. If you have dated women in the past who dressed similarly and had a bad experience or what not, I would just avoid approaching these women.

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01/01/2013 new

(Quote) Livia-407406 said: So I just took a look through my pictures and realized I have three of me in a bar/pub, one holdi...
(Quote) Livia-407406 said:

So I just took a look through my pictures and realized I have three of me in a bar/pub, one holding a beer, one in a vineyard, two at a brewery, and two from New Year's Eve while out with a friend.


To which I can only say...God, please spare me the misfortune of ending up with a man who flies into a rage at the sight of a woman holding a drink or showing a tiny bit of skin. Life is too short.


I think Shakespeare said it best: "Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?"


Or perhaps Hilaire Belloc?


"Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine,
There’s always laughter and good red wine.
At least I’ve always found it so.
Benedicamus Domino!”


Oh, and you should NEVER assume that a Catholic girl at a bar is there to "meet guys." (By which I assume you mean one to go home with?) That is an apalling rash judgement to make about your sisters in Christ. I certainly would never make such a vulgar assumption about the Catholic men I know, many of whom enjoy an evening out at their local watering hole on a regular basis.

--hide--

EXCELLENT!

LOCKED
01/01/2013 new

(Quote) Livia-407406 said: So I just took a look through my pictures and realized I have three of me in a bar/pub, one holdi...
(Quote) Livia-407406 said:

So I just took a look through my pictures and realized I have three of me in a bar/pub, one holding a beer, one in a vineyard, two at a brewery, and two from New Year's Eve while out with a friend.


To which I can only say...God, please spare me the misfortune of ending up with a man who flies into a rage at the sight of a woman holding a drink or showing a tiny bit of skin. Life is too short.


I think Shakespeare said it best: "Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?"


Or perhaps Hilaire Belloc?


"Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine,
There’s always laughter and good red wine.
At least I’ve always found it so.
Benedicamus Domino!”


Oh, and you should NEVER assume that a Catholic girl at a bar is there to "meet guys." (By which I assume you mean one to go home with?) That is an apalling rash judgement to make about your sisters in Christ. I certainly would never make such a vulgar assumption about the Catholic men I know, many of whom enjoy an evening out at their local watering hole on a regular basis.

--hide--


I would certainly hope not, especially since my parish owns and operates a social club directly across the street from our Church!


As for those who make judgements, I live by one simple motto: "Opinions are like a******s. Everybody has one!"


theheart

LOCKED
01/01/2013 new

Okay, my two cents again...


Yes, I think women can get a little defensive because it is tough to dress modestly, especially when we see guys "appreciating" it. Also, some women think, "Well, that's HIS problem" if he can't control his thoughts when he looks at me. So, here's a little bulleted list for an easy read.


- Cleavage and noticeable thighs are not happening for me. lol This doesn't mean I'm in a turtleneck with a skirt to my anklers and closed-toe shoes. We know that dresses have gotten way shorter, and many come to mid-thigh length. When you sit, well, let's just say, it's not mid-thigh length anymore. (Britney moment, anyone?) eyepopping


- Pics should be varied. When I see several pics of someone in the same outfit, that screams: HEY, I need pics for a dating profile. Please take some of me! I think our pics should show our interests, as well. If you like to karaoke, have a pic of you singing karaoke (WITHOUT a drink... kidding!). If you love your really cute godson (AHEM!), then post a cute picture with him. wink If you love the Saints (AHEM, again!), then post something with that. lol But, if every pic of me showed a drink, then yeah, I'd wonder a little. But, DISCLAIMER, I realize that many people just happen to take pics when they're out. So it's possible that these women are thinking, "Wait, I need pics" and then they look through their pics and find these.


- There are guys who truly want to stay away from sin! Yes, these guys exist! I mean, obviously, women are gorgeous creatures, and guys can't help but notice us laughing but that doesn't mean they want us to tempt them. Yes, I could be modestly dressed and still tempt a guy (not by my doing), but the good guys who are trying will think, "Whew, she's cute and I didn't just feel like garbage because of where my thoughts just went."


When I see a hot guy, of course, I'm going to think something not-so-innocent; it's the world we live in. But I'm not going to dwell on it, and I'd rather just avoid the situation altogether. However, I can't help it that hot guys exist; I just have to thank God for that beauty and not have it be lustful. Move on, quickly! But, we know as women that guys are usually modestly dressed, unless they're mowing the lawn, jogging, or working out. The way some women dress makes ME cringe, so I really feel for the guys who are trying not to be tempted. Again, yes, these guys exist!


Now I'm off my soapbox!





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01/01/2013 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Okay, my again... Yes, I think women can get a little defensive because it is tough...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:

Okay, my again...


Yes, I think women can get a little defensive because it is tough to dress modestly, especially when we see guys "appreciating" it. Also, some women think, "Well, that's HIS problem" if he can't control his thoughts when he looks at me. So, here's a little bulleted list for an easy read.


- Cleavage and noticeable thighs are not happening for me. lol This doesn't mean I'm in a turtleneck with a skirt to my anklers and closed-toe shoes. We know that dresses have gotten way shorter, and many come to mid-thigh length. When you sit, well, let's just say, it's not mid-thigh length anymore. (Britney moment, anyone?)


- Pics should be varied. When I see several pics of someone in the same outfit, that screams: HEY, I need pics for a dating profile. Please take some of me! I think our pics should show our interests, as well. If you like to karaoke, have a pic of you singing karaoke (WITHOUT a drink... kidding!). If you love your really cute godson (AHEM!), then post a cute picture with him. If you love the Saints (AHEM, again!), then post something with that. lol But, if every pic of me showed a drink, then yeah, I'd wonder a little. But, DISCLAIMER, I realize that many people just happen to take pics when they're out. So it's possible that these women are thinking, "Wait, I need pics" and then they look through their pics and find these.

- There are guys who truly want to stay away from sin! Yes, these guys exist! I mean, obviously, women are gorgeous creatures, and guys can't help but notice us but that doesn't mean they want us to tempt them. Yes, I could be modestly dressed and still tempt a guy (not by my doing), but the good guys who are trying will think, "Whew, she's cute and I didn't just feel like garbage because of where my thoughts just went."

When I see a hot guy, of course, I'm going to think something not-so-innocent; it's the world we live in. But I'm not going to dwell on it, and I'd rather just avoid the situation altogether. However, I can't help it that hot guys exist; I just have to thank God for that beauty and not have it be lustful. Move on, quickly! But, we know as women that guys are usually modestly dressed, unless they're mowing the lawn, jogging, or working out. The way some women dress makes ME cringe, so I really feel for the guys who are trying not to be tempted. Again, yes, these guys exist!

Now I'm off my !

--hide--

Exactly, Tara.

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01/01/2013 new

(Quote) Marita-847688 said:
(Quote) Marita-847688 said:

--hide--


Exactly, Tara.

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