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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jan 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: Can you provide a source for this, please?
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Can you provide a source for this, please?

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wave Hi Jerry, the mass last Sunday was about family. Father Dahner had an excellent sermon. Anyway, I always put my kids before anything, but after listening to the sermon, it made so much sense. Without a strong husband and wife team to hold the family together, there becomes many problems. So in his sermon husband and wife come first, of course after God, and then the children. It makes total sense!

Jan 4th 2013 new

You'll likely find as many different answers to your question as there are potential dating partners, Michelle, but your having children would not stop me or someone like me from asking you out. Getting involved in a more serious relationship would be dependent upon your and my relationship more than anything else, with the children clearly being a priority to assess.

In my case, in fact, I love being a dad and have but one adult daughter, so in a sense it would actually be most likely appealing to me to date a woman with children. Again...depends on the woman foremost.

A few caution lights, though, again just speaking from my own perspective (as it's the only one I have):

If the father is truly 'gone'/checked-out by my own assessment, then I would have to gauge how well the children and I interact as a top priority. I'm a pretty likable guy, but not everyone's cup of tea. No one is. If the father is merely 'distant' and not some kind of an abomination, then for older children in particular I'd encourage that they take the upper road, reach out, and maintain a healthy relationship with him. It's just better for their sense of belonging and being loved over time, IMHO. Obviously, the particulars would matter a great deal in each case and could override this. With an 'ex' in the picture, something I've learned from life is the importance of assessing the woman's ability to place me at a higher priority than her 'ex'. While that might seem straightforward, I've recently been in a relationship where even with no small amount of remaining animosity between the woman and her 'ex' at two years post-divorce, the 'ex' clearly had a higher priority than me in terms of "mindshare" for the woman -- very lovely, wonderful person and good Catholic that she is -- when it comes to whom and what she's thinking about...even if it's combat vis-a-vis the 'ex.' Not cool, not loving, and had a way of making me feel 'not good enough' even though it truly wasn't about me, per se. For a previously married woman, with or without children, the potential for a "rebound" or "transitional" relationship is something I'd personally be keeping foremost in mind to avoid stepping into until I was convinced otherwise. A woman who is still in deep pain from her divorce is most likely not able to make her heart vulnerable again (when it's too soon), and even with her having a good heart will be inclined to see her new man primarily in the light of pain avoidance...i.e., as an emotional air bag of sorts...not as the man of her dreams, as she's still in too much pain. Last words of wisdom, and a reminder for myself as well: "If a person can not be alone and at peace with themselves, then they CAN NOT pick the right mate." The odds of the right person showing up at the right time versus the in-pain person's impatience are just not good.

Cheers & good luck. Prayer & meditation do help!

Jan 4th 2013 new

Never discussed it with other men. I would not have a problem dating a woman with children. I would only hope they enjoyed my company and I was able to be a positive influence.

Jan 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: Can you provide a source for this, please?
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Can you provide a source for this, please?

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Working on this right now :-)

Jan 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: Working on this right now :-)
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Working on this right now :-)

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Here is a quote from www.vatican.va of the catechism where it is referenced and then I am also working on getting the encyclical that adresses and expounds on this and some writings as well. I did not just arbitrarily make this comment.

*The fidelity of conjugal love

1646 By its very nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses. This is the consequence of the gift of themselves which they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an arrangement "until further notice." The "intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of the children, demand total fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable union between them."157

Jan 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: Can you provide a source for this, please?
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Can you provide a source for this, please?

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Jerry just so know and I have a friend from Opus Dei ardently researching the sources for me. One thing she said that made sense went we were just speaking was that love does not have first an second. Love is not a subordination as the meaning of love is sacrifice. It is the same fallacy that made many women see the Ephesians assertion on the role of women in marriage as an inferior one. Under love is not a degredation or a challenge to the dignity of the person but and an upholding and protection of it. Once I get the sources I will post them but I stand firm that not only was i taught that at Franciscan University in Theology class, every priest in Opus Dei and outside has asserted that this is the teaching of the church. If you think about it it makes perfect sense. It is the same logic as to why you need to put on your oxygen mask on first on the plane.

Jan 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Cathy-564420 said: Hi Jerry, the mass last Sunday was about family. Father Dahner had an excellent sermon. ...
(Quote) Cathy-564420 said:



Hi Jerry, the mass last Sunday was about family. Father Dahner had an excellent sermon. Anyway, I always put my kids before anything, but after listening to the sermon, it made so much sense. Without a strong husband and wife team to hold the family together, there becomes many problems. So in his sermon husband and wife come first, of course after God, and then the children. It makes total sense!

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That is what i have always been taught is the Church's position.

Jan 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: Hang in there. My cousin mart and married a woman on CM with five children. He has four. ...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:



Hang in there. My cousin mart and married a woman on CM with five children. He has four. They are an amazing family!

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Kathy,

Thanks for that bit of encouragement to my friend Michelle. She deserves that hope as she is a special lady. biggrin

Jan 4th 2013 new
(Quote) Victor-544727 said: Oh, contraire, young Raymond! Being a parent is a lifetime calling. The first nine months ...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:




Oh, contraire, young Raymond! Being a parent is a lifetime calling. The first nine months are just preparation.




Do the moms here agree with me?








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Hmmm yes.....
Jan 4th 2013 new

that is a really beautiful thing to stay steve

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