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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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12/31/2012 new


Hi Michelle,

I'll be honest here since I believe your looking for honest feed back. Generally, I won't consider dating women with kids because I think it often has very negative affect on her kids. While this is not a total deal beaker for me, really it depends on how she handles the situation and how old the kids are, but form my experience the the number of single parents that can handle this well are few and far between.

12/31/2012 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: I am a single mother who is just now trying get in the dating field. I basically have been &qu...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

I am a single mother who is just now trying get in the dating field. I basically have been "single" even during my marriage raising our kids and just want to know how guys feel about getting involved with a woman who has children where the father has basically "checked out" and not in the picture for sometime now.

--hide--


Does it matter? If he doesn't like the idea, he certainly isn't your guy. biggrin

12/31/2012 new

Wow, Joe you did bring up a lot of interesting points! Thank you! I hope you are able to find a wonderful lady for yourself since you seem like a very intelligent man. biggrin

12/31/2012 new
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: Wow, Joe you did bring up a lot of interesting points! Thank you! I hope you are able to find a wonderful...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

Wow, Joe you did bring up a lot of interesting points! Thank you! I hope you are able to find a wonderful lady for yourself since you seem like a very intelligent man.

--hide--
No problem, Michelle... I hope it helps in isnpiring you to persevere. I wish you the same blessing that you have extended towards me, and feel that you will find the right person. Happy Trails!
12/31/2012 new
(Quote) Lynn-922010 said: Does it matter? If he doesn't like the idea, he certainly isn't your guy.
(Quote) Lynn-922010 said:




Does it matter? If he doesn't like the idea, he certainly isn't your guy.

--hide--


I got rejected for my kids too recently . Painful to be honest . Certainly he isnt the guy for me. :-) But there's always hope to find one who can accept. PMA (positive mental attitude )
12/31/2012 new
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: I'd like to give you the politically correct answer "that is doesn't matter or it is even a good...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:

I'd like to give you the politically correct answer "that is doesn't matter or it is even a good thing" but whether most men are willing to admit it or not, I think they would prefer to date a woman without kids. Now, you are 44, so I imagine there are other men on this site that may be single with kids of their own, so those men would likely be good matches for you. Or, there may be men who figure now they are in there 40's so having kids of their own wouldn't be ideal anyways, so those could be good matches for you as well.

As for me, I am 34, so I am at a age where I see a mix of women around my age who are single both without kids and with kids. I have to be honest, there is so much that goes into a relationship, so for me, although I wouldn't rule out dating a woman with kids, I do tend to seek women without them. Also, I tend to prefer to date women in their mid to upper 20's, than in their 30's, so the whole "biological clock" thing is less of a factor. ( I know that is another taboo that men get bashed by women about, but it is just reality.) I just want to tell it like it is....

God Bless,
Patrick

--hide--


Patrick, i have made this observation before, but felt a need to clarify it since you brought it up in this post. A woman is fully able, barring a diagnosed medical condition, to conceive, carry and bear children up until she is in full blown menopause which is a year after her last cycle. As someone who just turned 50, I haven't quite hit that mark yet. So do not overlook women in their late 30's or even early 40's (if you are comfortable with 8 years younger oops, i mean older), you may be plesantly surprised.
12/31/2012 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: I am a single mother who is just now trying get in the dating field. I basically have been &qu...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

I am a single mother who is just now trying get in the dating field. I basically have been "single" even during my marriage raising our kids and just want to know how guys feel about getting involved with a woman who has children where the father has basically "checked out" and not in the picture for sometime now.

--hide--



I am in that situation too. Whenever my daughter's father is involved, it is basically to create trouble for me or for her. On rare occasions, he surprises me and does something decent.


In the past, I had one guy - a Catolic actually - who seemed a bit "miffed" that I couldn't just hire sitters every weekend so I could spend my time with him. I wound up breaking up with him because I felt like his behavior did not serve the best interests of my children, so he wasn't for me. And, he kept asking why my daughter didn't spend more time with her father - a guy who may soon be facing supervised visitation with her. As if she needed to be there more. boggled

12/31/2012 new

(Quote) Maria-874402 said: I got rejected for my kids too recently . Painful to be honest . Certainly he isnt the guy for m...
(Quote) Maria-874402 said:

I got rejected for my kids too recently . Painful to be honest . Certainly he isnt the guy for me. :-) But there's always hope to find one who can accept. PMA (positive mental attitude )
--hide--



Been there too. Had one guy who said to me he could not date me because "you have your kids all the time"......


I did not tell him, but my kids, afer they met him, said they didn't think he was "genuine", ad "he's not good enough for you Mom". wink

12/31/2012 new

(Quote) Clair-6292 said: I have to flip the question. I've seen profiles of women who absolutely refuse to get involved...
(Quote) Clair-6292 said:

I have to flip the question. I've seen profiles of women who absolutely refuse to get involved with a guy who has children. No matter divorced with annulment or widower, WHY?

Such a relationship is more difficult, but the children should not receive the punishment. God gives us the tools to handle the situation
--hide--

Clair, THAT is the bottom line. Such relationships--regardless of who has children--are a bit more difficult but can succeed with our Lord's help. :-)


Great point!!

12/31/2012 new

I would consider children, especially where the father is out of the picture, as additional blessings from God. How wonderful to be called not only to unite with a Godly woman but to have a hand in raising Godly kids, whoever the bio-father! I do understand that this is a difficult thing for some men, and if they believe they are not called to raise another man's children, they should not become involved in such a situation. Both the mother and the prospective Dad should consider this carefully and prayerfully together, and only pursue a union if the man is enthusiastic about being a Dad to the children.

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