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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 1st 2013 new

I would like to say that I agree with Brenda on the child support issue. In my case, the father has refused to get a job in order to pay for child support even though it was court ordered. It is hard knowing that the father is out there doing whatever he pleases and I am being the responsible one loving and making sure my children( I use the word "my" since he is not there) are well cared for and have everything they need ( the basics...love, nurturing,food and shelter and the teachings of our Church). My children will learn the real truth of what the meaning of a father is someday and will look back and thank me for what I had to do. He is entitled to supervised visitation but has not bothered to do so, I am not going to force a relationship that my children don't want with their father. They are free to make their decision on whether they want to talk with him or not. As far as the child support goes, I have to put it in my mind that he will never pay but we will see how that turns out to be when we go to court next week!

Jan 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: I would like to say that I agree with Brenda on the child support issue. In my case, the fathe...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

I would like to say that I agree with Brenda on the child support issue. In my case, the father has refused to get a job in order to pay for child support even though it was court ordered. It is hard knowing that the father is out there doing whatever he pleases and I am being the responsible one loving and making sure my children( I use the word "my" since he is not there) are well cared for and have everything they need ( the basics...love, nurturing,food and shelter and the teachings of our Church). My children will learn the real truth of what the meaning of a father is someday and will look back and thank me for what I had to do. He is entitled to supervised visitation but has not bothered to do so, I am not going to force a relationship that my children don't want with their father. They are free to make their decision on whether they want to talk with him or not. As far as the child support goes, I have to put it in my mind that he will never pay but we will see how that turns out to be when we go to court next week!

--hide--

Michelle eventually these things will cease to be important. Focus on moving past it, loving your children and developing your relationship with God. He will provide because He always does. It may not seem like that when you are in the moment. I am speaking as someone who is almost 6 years past it and trust me but most of all trust God. He will heal you, stengthen you and provide for you and the kids. Allow Him to show you what He is capable of. It is going to take time but eventually the emotional hurt becomes a very far distant memory. Just give it time and grace. God will never let you down, cleave to Him. I would also advise getting a spiritual director and regular confessor. Direction, objective opinion, the grace of the sacraments, someone to talk and to have simply love you as a daighter of God is key. I am praying for you and loving you from a distance.

Jan 1st 2013 new
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: I would like to say that I agree with Brenda on the child support issue. In my case, the father has refused ...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

I would like to say that I agree with Brenda on the child support issue. In my case, the father has refused to get a job in order to pay for child support even though it was court ordered. It is hard knowing that the father is out there doing whatever he pleases and I am being the responsible one loving and making sure my children( I use the word "my" since he is not there) are well cared for and have everything they need ( the basics...love, nurturing,food and shelter and the teachings of our Church). My children will learn the real truth of what the meaning of a father is someday and will look back and thank me for what I had to do. He is entitled to supervised visitation but has not bothered to do so, I am not going to force a relationship that my children don't want with their father. They are free to make their decision on whether they want to talk with him or not. As far as the child support goes, I have to put it in my mind that he will never pay but we will see how that turns out to be when we go to court next week!

--hide--
praying that you are blessed in all that you do....
Jan 1st 2013 new

How easily available is counselling, either from the Church or from other sources, for marriages with step-children, or even a relationship where one party has children? I think it will help plenty.....

Jan 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Kwaku-654846 said: How easily available is counselling, either from the Church or from other sources, for marriages ...
(Quote) Kwaku-654846 said:

How easily available is counselling, either from the Church or from other sources, for marriages with step-children, or even a relationship where one party has children? I think it will help plenty.....

--hide--

I agree Kwaku and think that many times unresolved hurts are a far greater detriment to a relationship than children could ever be. I think it is so important to work on us before working on a relationship. Christ is the ultimate source of healing and he is waiting to simply love us fix our brokeness with his grace.

Jan 1st 2013 new
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: I would like to say that I agree with Brenda on the child support issue. In my case, the father has refused ...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

I would like to say that I agree with Brenda on the child support issue. In my case, the father has refused to get a job in order to pay for child support even though it was court ordered. It is hard knowing that the father is out there doing whatever he pleases and I am being the responsible one loving and making sure my children( I use the word "my" since he is not there) are well cared for and have everything they need ( the basics...love, nurturing,food and shelter and the teachings of our Church). My children will learn the real truth of what the meaning of a father is someday and will look back and thank me for what I had to do. He is entitled to supervised visitation but has not bothered to do so, I am not going to force a relationship that my children don't want with their father. They are free to make their decision on whether they want to talk with him or not. As far as the child support goes, I have to put it in my mind that he will never pay but we will see how that turns out to be when we go to court next week!

--hide--


Always a divorce result of abuse has different way of thinking also a different way of reaction from the part of the abuser. In the case of abuse an abused wife would care less for his financial support, what she needs is peace take care of her well being and the best of her kids. We can't blame someone for not loving their kids when they don't know how to love themselves. Prayers for him to heal and take responsibility toward his kids. Best of luck in court
Jan 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I agree Kwaku and think that many times unresolved hurts are a far greater detriment to ...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I agree Kwaku and think that many times unresolved hurts are a far greater detriment to a relationship than children could ever be. I think it is so important to work on us before working on a relationship. Christ is the ultimate source of healing and he is waiting to simply love us fix our brokeness with his grace.

--hide--

I should further clarify that we all have brokeness including me and are works in progress. But I also think that past hurts if not worked through can color a person's view point to the point of skewing their analysis of life. That can put undue stress on a relationship and doom it to failure before it gets started.

Obviously I am farfrom perfect. Look at all of my typos. LOL

Jan 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Therese-668052 said: Always a divorce result of abuse has different way of thinking also a different way of reactio...
(Quote) Therese-668052 said:

Always a divorce result of abuse has different way of thinking also a different way of reaction from the part of the abuser. In the case of abuse an abused wife would care less for his financial support, what she needs is peace take care of her well being and the best of her kids. We can't blame someone for not loving their kids when they don't know how to love themselves. Prayers for him to heal and take responsibility toward his kids. Best of luck in court
--hide--

Therese. It is so true that people who do not know how to love themselves can't love. Sad but true.

Michelle you are obviously a well adjusted woman and the mature one in the mix. Don't be discouraged. Look at all of the people on here rooting for you and supporting you. You are far from in this alone.

Jan 1st 2013 new

It certainly isn't uncommon for people to have children. I don't think most men over the age of say 35 are concerned about a woman having children per se'. Some men may wonder how available a woman is to meet if she has young children. That would probably be the only question in my mind.

Jan 1st 2013 new
Great question Michelle. Before I answer I'll say it depends a lot on circumstances and age (of both participants). The men in your age group generally shouldn't have much problem w it. The biggest concern (for most men in my opinion) will deal w finances and supporting another mans child if the relationship will lead anywhere. Again...I think most are ok with this given reasonable circumstances. I know it's hard juggling kids while still attempting to date. True love can transcend any obstacle. God bless and good luck.
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