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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 2nd 2013 new

God bless you Ms. Michelle.

Concering the topic: this is what my parents have advised me. "Ask yourself this question, are you willing and without any doubt that you will accept the child as your own and love him regardless what may happen in the future? In the even of dispute, are you willing to be patient and kind to the child?" These questions sound extremely easy but in reality it is extremely difficult to do. Especially, when you hear the words such as "You are not my father, why should I listen to you" or "What do you want? Step Father's Full Name" ...etc. I know that I don't have the heart for this type of situation. Therefore, I personally keep distance from it.

Dating may be find but If it is a long term relationship you are looking for just be up front with the person. Don't even try to pretend that the child does not exist. I think having a take it or leave it mind set will be most helpful in your situation. Ask the person what will he do simply be honest to yourself and to the person you are dating.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: I am a single mother who is just now trying get in the dating field. I basically have been &qu...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

I am a single mother who is just now trying get in the dating field. I basically have been "single" even during my marriage raising our kids and just want to know how guys feel about getting involved with a woman who has children where the father has basically "checked out" and not in the picture for sometime now.

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In my age it might be better for me to be with a woman with no children but I've got no problem with it if I end up falling in love with her. My oldest brother taught me many valuable lessons in life. One valuable lesson was he showed me that marrying a single mother with a child is possible and he still wanted to have a bigger family with her when they started dating. They're happily married now for some years & I'm one of the uncles of their beautiful children theheart. She's a beautiful mother to her children, a great wife to my brother, & a wonderful older sister to me biggrin. So, there are men in this world willing to love single mothers smile.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

Truthfully, in my early and mid twenties I wouldn't have considered it. I had this ill-conceived notion that I was only looking to start a family from scratch. However, in the last couple of years that idea has changed drastically. If I find a woman who I genuinely care for then I will care about all aspects of her life including children. The only thing I would want to know going in is that, should a dating relationship evolve into the sacrament of marriage, I would not be expected to be a "sideline" step partent. I want to be a part of their lives fully. If her expection is, "this is MY child and MY child only," then it is a direction I would not choose to head in.

God bless!

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: I am amazed at how many guys have answered my topic question! Thanks for sharing your thoughts...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

I am amazed at how many guys have answered my topic question! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and input. There was a lot I did not know how you guys truly felt. Like Shara has mentioned and I also speak for myself that we are not looking for someone to pay for our childrens needs, it is not their fault that their father chose not to be the man he is supposed to be and support his children financially. From what I have read, I am sure it would be hard to date with children but please guys don't ever make the children out to be a burden for they are gifts from God and who knows they may be the only children you ever get to have if you are lucky enough when you can't have any from your own loins. Not trying to be ugly there, just truthful. Think about it.

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any guy who doesn't tell you that your kids must come first, is not the guy you want to become involved with. a woman with children is a package deal. a wonderful package it is too.


our pastor in little italy was fond of saying: "love is only about addition and multiplication; it's never about subtraction, division, or fractions."


gentlemen: look how st joseph loved our lord and the blessed virgin. let us act in a similar fashion.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

I am a single mom. My heart beams when I look at my son. With as much love as I feel for him, I hope that when I do meet that right man we will both be able to love him together. The dynamic will shift when a man enters into my life. I think at first it might feel strange to put my son second since its always been just he and I. But I can't see a relationship being successful if my son comes first and my husband is second. In my mind my husband and I will be partners--equals--and we will both love our family together. I guess its easy to say now, but probably more challenging once it actually happens.

Whenever I get worried about these kinds of things I think about the Holy Family. Joseph took Mary in and they became a beautiful family. Those are my thoughts as I listen to my son peacefully sleeping.....ah so sweet. Lynette

Jan 2nd 2013 new

An angel appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife..."

All children come from God. Do not be afraid to let a woman and her children into your heart and into your life. You will be richly blessed. theheart

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Alice-788574 said: An angel appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife...
(Quote) Alice-788574 said:

An angel appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife..."

All children come from God. Do not be afraid to let a woman and her children into your heart and into your life. You will be richly blessed.

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I just found this...

St. John Chrysostom suggests that young husbands should say to their wives: I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us. . . . I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.150

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Lynette-852719 said: I just found this... St. John Chrysostom suggests that young husban...
(Quote) Lynette-852719 said:

I just found this...

St. John Chrysostom suggests that young husbands should say to their wives: I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us. . . . I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.150

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Lynette, that is beautiful!

Jan 2nd 2013 new
(Quote) Lynette-852719 said: I just found this... St. John Chrysostom suggests that young husbands should say t...
(Quote) Lynette-852719 said:

I just found this...

St. John Chrysostom suggests that young husbands should say to their wives: I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us. . . . I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.150

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LOVE!!! Where my man? I would totally swoon at this!!!!
Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: I am a single mother who is just now trying get in the dating field. I basically have been &qu...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

I am a single mother who is just now trying get in the dating field. I basically have been "single" even during my marriage raising our kids and just want to know how guys feel about getting involved with a woman who has children where the father has basically "checked out" and not in the picture for sometime now.

--hide--

Same setting in my chair: single with FIVE...not exactly good marketing, if you know what I mean. I know that when I finally am dating I will be CERTAIN that good boundaries are in order, both with my ex and with the children old enough to understand. Being annulled, my ex has no further claim to me or my choices, and any prospective match for me will need to know rather soon into a relationship how the children will be raised and by whom. (parenting time percentages, etc.) If married, together we will need to create our mutual household family rules both in consideration of my ex's ideas and apart from such. I think being up front is important...maybe in small, gradual doses at first, but I must know what kind of scenario would be my ideal in order to work out the issues that are sure to arise from both sides.

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