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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Jan 2nd 2013 new

Great share yesterday, Pat.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

Yes, thank you, Pat. You stated it very well. Having a godly marriage is something I yearn for. I had it, but only for the last 10 years really of my first. I am happy that my husband experienced it before he died. I believe it made a huge difference in how we handled his illness and subsequent death. When I think of it in those terms, making a difference for one person was certainly worthwhile.

I want to believe like Jackie says about the desire being placed in our hearts by God. And I do trust Him explicitly, so I question how much effort I should be putting into finding a mate. Prayer and being open to the people placed in my path seems like it should be enough.

I have more thoughts on this, but have to apologize for not being succint. I've been quite ill the last 6 days and my mind isn't able to hold a thought. Thank you all for your replies. You've given me food for thought.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: Yes, thank you, Pat. You stated it very well. Having a godly marriage is something I yearn for. I...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Yes, thank you, Pat. You stated it very well. Having a godly marriage is something I yearn for. I had it, but only for the last 10 years really of my first. I am happy that my husband experienced it before he died. I believe it made a huge difference in how we handled his illness and subsequent death. When I think of it in those terms, making a difference for one person was certainly worthwhile.

I want to believe like Jackie says about the desire being placed in our hearts by God. And I do trust Him explicitly, so I question how much effort I should be putting into finding a mate. Prayer and being open to the people placed in my path seems like it should be enough.

I have more thoughts on this, but have to apologize for not being succint. I've been quite ill the last 6 days and my mind isn't able to hold a thought. Thank you all for your replies. You've given me food for thought.

--hide--


Hope you are getting better Kathy. hug


- Elizabeth

Jan 3rd 2013 new

lovestruck! I think that for people who are getting married who are past child bearing years that the purpose of marriage is to support each other's spiritual growth and reaching their fullest potential spiritually, and also to support whatever children they have, between them, previosuly born and raised in their spiritual journey as well.


Jan 3rd 2013 new

lovestruck! I think that for people who are getting married who are past child bearing years that the purpose of marriage is to support each other's spiritual growth and reaching their fullest potential spiritually, and also to support whatever children they have, between them, previosuly born and raised in their spiritual journey as well.


Jan 3rd 2013 new

When a woman is past "natural" childbearing age, there are no impediments to the sexual union between a husband and wife. Although they may be open to life, God's plan for the woman's fertility has met it's natural conclusion. The couple can express their love in the marital embrace and this loving act reflects the Trinitarian "total gift of self". The same teaching applies to couples who experience infertility. This beautiful teaching is a part of JPII's Theology of the Body. biggrin

Jan 3rd 2013 new

In the past it was common to hear that the primary purpose of marriage was to beget children. But this is not logical, because the childless couple would foil this primary purpose, leading to the conclusion that their marriage was irreparably deficient. The marital union images the Trinitarian union of the three persons of God. JPII in his seminal work, the Theology of the Body, points out that though we are each made in the image of God, the more perfect image of God is man and woman joined in marital union. Sexual union is the vehicle of this joining. The orgasm is the physical manifestation of this gifting of our total selves to each other to form a sort on new spiritual entity or persona. During this orgasm, ideally, we give this total gift of self devoid of self-pride to form this new persona which we each accept into ourselves, changing the essential nature of ourselves. Sexual union is a sacred act that transform us to mirror the true union of the three Divine Persons of our One God. Sexual union is a sacramental that yields abundant sanctifying grace for God is prersent to aid us in perfecting our union. Consequently, it is illogical and, perhaps, even offensive to God to reject this divine grace by not having sexual union with one's spouse as often as circumstances permit. It is much like refraining from the Eucharisrt when attending Mass.

This union is very real and remains even after death of the spouse, that is, you are no longer who you were. Your union formed this new persona and it, in essence, defines who you are. When you marry again, your gift of self to your new spouse will include the essence of your departed spouse,


Sin of any kind corrupts our commitment to sanctity. It will cause couples to make excuses to minimize sex within their marriages as they attempt to reassert their egos and reject their union. However frequent, even daily, use of this essential sacramental strengthens the union and provides the grace to renew their commitment to each other. It helps spouses to be just as loving out of bed as in bed.

Children are a natural product of marriage, whenever God allows it to happen. If you are not totally open to having children, then your sexual acts contain within them a preference to not give the total gift of self to your spouse, thereby stifling the perfecting of your true union.

If you have alrerady experienced a true marital union, you may be satisfied to never marry again. However God could be calling on you to give witness to His Trinitarian Union through a new marriage. Given the state of sinfullness in our society, there is a growing need for holy marriages; too many of the young are turning their backs on the call to true marital unions.


Jan 3rd 2013 new

Thank you, Carolyn, and welcome to CM. We are so glad you are here!


I believe John echoed your thoughts as well. I had hoped marriage would be better than ever in the later years. I still haven't read JPII's Theology of the Body. You've both given me good reason to do just that. He seems to have addressed my concern about marriage at this stage being more than just a self-centered desire.



Jan 3rd 2013 new

Be at peace, my sister. You might want to try reading Men and Women are From Eden by Dr. Mary Healy. She does a beautiful job of encapsulating JPII's TOB and she is very readable.

Feb 11th 2013 new

The Church teaches that you should be open to having kids when you marry. If you are not, then you should not marry. The Church teaches more than that, last time I checked. But, to marry not being open to having kids would be wrong.

So, how about adopting? You can still have kids, even if you are impotent, old or gay. Should you adopt when you marry at 45? or 55? You know there is a real need for good loving couples to raise children in our world. Oh, the Catholic organization that you can adopt a child from probably will not let you adopt if you are too old. I wonder about being gay? I don't wonder too much.

Can you just imagine the Church teaching that you can only have kids in your marriage till you are 40? What happens if you have one when you are 50? Shame on you, having sex at that age. Have you no shame? Making your spouse see that big gut, or those aweful wrinkles. What are you thinking?

I think it is common sense that you shouldn't have kids when you are too old and common sense may, or may not be, in the Catechism. A Sacramental marriage is about many things. Sex is certainly not the most important. This is true at any age. The Church does teach that a man cannot marry if he is impotent. That teaching may someday be expanded offically, but who cares. How are you supposed to know if you are impotent if you aren't having sex?

Maybe what God really wants is for us to love our spouse. Then accept whatever God sends into our lives. Fertility is a gift, just like sex. It needs to be shared in the context of two people being in a Sacramental Marriage.

Larry.

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