Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match!

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 2nd 2013 new
(Quote) Jerry-928087 said: Hi Christine, Regarding dating somone from another denomination, I have been married twice and i...
(Quote) Jerry-928087 said:

Hi Christine,



Regarding dating somone from another denomination, I have been married twice and in both cases it was to a Lutheran woman. I now find myself single, again meaning I am twice divorced and annulled. Personally, I have vowed to only date within the faith from now on. I used to say that you could put me in a room with 50 women, 49 Catholic and one Lutheran and I would always fall for the Lutheran girl!



More seriously, I have come to think that Catholic women tend to take "...till death do us part..." more seriously than did the Lutheran women I have been wed to. You see, in my case, it was my wife who initiated the divorce both times. In both cases I was willing to stay unhappily married and they were not.



So depending on what you are looking for in the relationship and before it gets really serious, you guys need to have a conversation about it. As an aside, my dad converted to Catholicism during WWII, while dating my mother, and didn't tell her he had converted until after she agreed that she really loved him and would marry him even if he remained Protestant! When she said she would, he told her he had been taking instruction and was converting! Their marriage lasted 63 years; until death did them part...

--hide--


It's great that your parents' marriage lasted 63 years, but that was a different time with different values. Today we live in a superficial culture that values quickie divorces rather than lifelong marriages.
Jan 2nd 2013 new

My Mother is a convert and later, her mother converted, all because of mother dating my father. Mother joined before they were married and, to this day is very devout. That being said, there are several things I would consider:

What if the non-Catholic man I date decides to join the Church but it is for the wrong reasons? For instance, he could join because he wants the 'unity' in our new family or because he wants to please me and be what he thinks I want. I am sceptical of big changes I see in guys when they begin to date a woman or vice versa. On a conscious level, they may not realize there is a lack of authenticity. We can all tend to do that. The rose colored glasses are easy to wear especially among optimistic, lonely and 'in love' couples. There are also outgoing, friendly personalities who tend to 'mirror and match' in order to connect with others. Sales people are taught this skill.

I stated this in another post but, again, I love so many things in life and I have come to realize that what I love has much to do with my Catholic Faith. Dancing, working out, reading, friends, nature...it all is viewed through Catholic lenses. Therefore I want to share that core part of me that so impacts my passions and day to day decisions. My spouse should be the closest person in the world to me. I would forfeit joy without that total union; I could have had so much more in a marriage.


Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: It's great that your parents' marriage lasted 63 years, but that was a different time wit...
(Quote) John-220051 said:

It's great that your parents' marriage lasted 63 years, but that was a different time with different values. Today we live in a superficial culture that values quickie divorces rather than lifelong marriages.
--hide--


...and for that reason, John, we are on CM. We don't want to buy into that culture. It was Leon that said, (when it gets rocky)...'do you pack your bags along with the kids and hit the road?' No. Our parents understood that. Of course we get into the issue of the other spouse refusing to be a spouse or being dangerous...then of course, separation may be in order. Perhaps that is a huge problem these days? Yesterday at Mass our Pastor prayed that Catholics return to the forgiveness and joy of Confession. If our spouse's Faith slips away and they stop trying to be good, it leaves us with a messy situation. My prayer for today is that we Catholics everywhere try hard to become the best versions of ourselves, as God intends.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

I would not date a protestant. There are several reasons.

I do believe that the man is called to be the spiritual head of the household. This doesn't mean I have to believe everything he says, but that I am called to follow his lead and to trust him with the spiritual welfare of myself and the children. To turn around and say that I disagree with him on the fundamentals of faith, which should be the basis of the marriage, and I will raise the kids my own way, is to undermine him. To me, this weakens the marriage bond at a basic level. The only way to have a marriage based on faith where I may be faithful to my husband and the Church is to only date and marry in the Catholic Church.

I was married once to someone of a different reliegion. I am not talking about I was Catholic and he was some protestant denomination. He was an ecclectic druidic neopagan (along the lines of wicca if you are familiar with that). When we married neither one of us were really practicing anything. I had fallen rather far away from the church and he didn't practice. A year later and my daughter was born. I desired to return to the Church and raise her in the Faith and he still had strong anti-Christian leanings. I could be faithful to both. I know what is is to be unequally yojed and to live in a house divided. I know my example was an extreme, but why even subject myself to the same issues?

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Meagan-930279 said: I could be faithful to both. I know what is is to be unequally yojed
(Quote) Meagan-930279 said:

I could be faithful to both. I know what is is to be unequally yojed

--hide--

I didn't see an edit button. It should say I could not be faithful to both. and yojed should be yoked.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

Hi Christine,

I dated a protestant for over two and a half years, and truthfully I would not do it again. There was always a wall between then two of us in the sense that we would share each others faith but would consistantly try to outdo eachother about why ours was better. In addition, you cannot share the Mass or the Eucharist with that person since you won`t go to Church together. In my case, that also ment I could not share with him my social life around my Catholic Faith and had to sometimes choose between a date and going to Catholic Youth Group.

When there can be no compromise with Faith , then it is very difficult to date a Protestant.

Hope this helps.

Melissa

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Meagan-930279 said: I didn't see an edit button. It should say I could not be faithful to both...
(Quote) Meagan-930279 said:

I didn't see an edit button. It should say I could not be faithful to both. and yojed should be yoked.

--hide--


Meagan-I so totally hear what you say and agree. I want him to have lead. I have been there...'carrying' or leading someone...never again.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Melissa-415139 said: Hi Christine, I dated a protestant for over two and a half years, and truthfull...
(Quote) Melissa-415139 said:

Hi Christine,

I dated a protestant for over two and a half years, and truthfully I would not do it again. There was always a wall between then two of us in the sense that we would share each others faith but would consistantly try to outdo eachother about why ours was better. In addition, you cannot share the Mass or the Eucharist with that person since you won`t go to Church together. In my case, that also ment I could not share with him my social life around my Catholic Faith and had to sometimes choose between a date and going to Catholic Youth Group.

When there can be no compromise with Faith , then it is very difficult to date a Protestant.

Hope this helps.

Melissa



--hide--


And, Melissa, didn't it just feel sad to have that wall?

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: And, Melissa, didn't it just feel sad to have that wall?
(Quote) Meg-920823 said:


And, Melissa, didn't it just feel sad to have that wall?

--hide--


After a time it just became very frustrating and unfufilling, and maybe even a little sad. It was one of the reason`s that it did not work out between us.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Christine-894237 said: Have you ever dated a Protestant or would you be willing to do so? I have before, ...
(Quote) Christine-894237 said:

Have you ever dated a Protestant or would you be willing to do so?


I have before, but have generally not experienced much openness to the Catholic Church. I am attracted to men of deep faith and am still open to the possibility of dating a Protestant in the future... as long as he is willing to learn about my faith and seek truth with me! However, sometimes my interactions with Protestants leave me tired. I haven't encountered much willingness to dialogue rationally and it's challenging to be constantly on the defensive.


Thoughts?

--hide--



Christine: I've found it is possible to date a Protestant, but feel that those with liturgy-based worship celebrations (i.e. Anglicans, Presbyterians, and some Lutherans), where their order of service contains the same elements, etc. always are the MOST open to Catholics, as a rule. This is just my personal discovery. Evangelicals have prophetic interpretations that Rome and the Church of Rome are the end time evildoers, etc. The charismatic movement is a little bit more in collaboration with Charismatic Catholics---in fact, Charismatic Protestants were the first evangelicals I knew who approved/endorsed the Catholic faith as containing sincere Christians instead of being a "Goddess worship cult."


Protestants who also respect the Church, have relatives in the Church, etc. tend to be more open. You are correct, though, that many are not open to dating Catholics at all.

Posts 21 - 30 of 80