Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match!

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: WHAT???? Having too many messages to respond to on here is totally a guy problem and why...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

WHAT???? Having too many messages to respond to on here is totally a guy problem and why I say it is easier for Catholic guys than us women. The pool of women is much larger to choose from. I do hope that there is a not interested button in place soon. But I also think that a simply note saying "best of luck to you" would convey a similiar thought and also fulfill the charitable aspect of it. Remember men; charity in ALL things. What would St. Joseph do?

--hide--


I believe it depends on the person's personality. Sometimes, I'm clueless of what the hidden message might be behind her reply. In real life setting, it's like me walking away if I'm not feeling what I'm about to say is good for the other person. I'm not trying to be rude to her and some women do it too when they're not interested. From my experience, most women usually don't care much about giving a "nice rejection" reply. Judging from my history of messages, I've sent more emotigrams than the replies I've received. Also, sometimes those emotigrams have small messages. However, I use the options available for me to contact her and get her attention. By nature I'm considered introvert according to personality tests I've done and from what people have said about me. I actually don't know what St. Joseph would do in this situation other than what you've mentioned regarding charity...eyebrow.


Actually the pool of women for me to find on this website to be very honest with myself is pretty small & to even get a good start on messaging each other. I for one don't live in USA and my age group bracket of women to message in my county is small. I've tried long distance relationship internationally once in the past & it was short lived. So, that leaves me to just casual conversations with gals from USA because it would take both parties to take it seriously. I don't mind LDR within the province I live in or from the other Canadian provinces. Since, I'm a Canadian citizen travelling within Canada therefore I don't have to deal too much with rules applying to international travels.


P.S. I still have to figure out how I can find a way to just search only for Canadian singles on this website. Your searches goes by distance, therefore it make sense that my searches will populate mostly from USA.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Karen-716513 said: I've been doing the same recently and, like you, I get nothing. Once in awhile a guy will vie...
(Quote) Karen-716513 said:

I've been doing the same recently and, like you, I get nothing. Once in awhile a guy will view me, but nothing else. I don't understand it, either. I always send an emotigram -- ya never know! I don't always have computer access and I don't have a phone with Internet or apps, so it may take me awhile, but still.... I always shrug it off -- they don't like my picture or something? I think it's terribly rude, and yeah, a turn off!

I wonder about the character of the person, too! I mean, if you're on here, you're Not looking??

--hide--


Okay..I'll bite.. Why does it mean someone has a disreputable character if they are not looking in spite of being on here?.. This is a community of single Catholic adults that also happens to be a dating site..There could be a lot of reasons why someone is not looking.. When I send a communication I move on and don't dwell on getting a response.. More often than not I don't get one, but the message sent has pretty much gone out of my mind..If I get a response great. If I don't, so what?

Jan 2nd 2013 new

If someone doesn't reply back to me, it bothers me... usually for about half a second. That just seems to be how a lot of people operate online. Whether they send you a polite brush-off or just don't reply, isn't the end message of "not interested" you receive the same? Why even waste your time wondering why they didn't reply? What's the point of that? Even when messages sent to fellow women (who I know have paid subscriptions) do not spur a friendly reply, why should I waste my time wishing I could control their behavior when I can only control mine?


There are guys I've messaged who I know have paid subscriptions who have never responded to me. Meh. There could be a whole slew of reasons for that, and I'm not wasting my time trying to guess the infinite possibilities. Of course, I'm also not wasting my energy mentally badmouthing them either- they seemed like nice guys, which is why I messaged them in the first place. And in all charity, they probably ARE actual nice guys, and I wish them well.


So what's really the big deal if it's a turn-off for you? Does anybody here WANT to remain attracted to someone who is not interested in you? No! So think about it like this: they did you a favor. And now you can shake the dust from your sandals, say, "NEXT!" and get on with other pursuits.


We all have better things to do than to get bent out of shape about this.

Jan 2nd 2013 new
(Quote) Mary-583970 said: That would be really nice if there were a "not interested" response, but at the same time, I don't...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:

That would be really nice if there were a "not interested" response, but at the same time, I don't always message with people I'm interested in, I might just say "Hey, nice photos" or "Happy new year" and if I got that response, I'd probably roll my eyes (though be thankful they replied at all)

But yeah, my point was that people won't even send the free smiley back- it's free for a reason

--hide--
Just for that... you asked for it... here is your official "non-rejection" smiley face: :)
Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Laura-896845 said: If someone doesn't reply back to me, it bothers me... usually for about half a second. That j...
(Quote) Laura-896845 said:

If someone doesn't reply back to me, it bothers me... usually for about half a second. That just seems to be how a lot of people operate online. Whether they send you a polite brush-off or just don't reply, isn't the end message of "not interested" you receive the same? Why even waste your time wondering why they didn't reply? What's the point of that? Even when messages sent to fellow women (who I know have paid subscriptions) do not spur a friendly reply, why should I waste my time wishing I could control their behavior when I can only control mine?


There are guys I've messaged who I know have paid subscriptions who have never responded to me. Meh. There could be a whole slew of reasons for that, and I'm not wasting my time trying to guess the infinite possibilities. Of course, I'm also not wasting my energy mentally badmouthing them either- they seemed like nice guys, which is why I messaged them in the first place. And in all charity, they probably ARE actual nice guys, and I wish them well.


So what's really the big deal if it's a turn-off for you? Does anybody here WANT to remain attracted to someone who is not interested in you? No! So think about it like this: they did you a favor. And now you can shake the dust from your sandals, say, "NEXT!" and get on with other pursuits.


We all have better things to do than to get bent out of shape about this.

--hide--


Good Post, Laura smile!

I'm pretty sure a woman will always have more attention given to them by men than vice versa. What I've seen from my female friends, they always got a guy wanting their attention almost every day which I find very interesting. I usually laugh when I hear them talk about a guy "chasing" them. Since the only time I would ever hear about women talking about me is when I'm not thinking about one. I find it funny how attraction works laughing...The only difference I notice between online & in the real world is how the person uses the communication channel (the internet-dating site in this case).

Jan 2nd 2013 new

Yes, a smile is always contagious!!

Jan 2nd 2013 new

Thanks Mary,

you gave me just the answer I was looking for pertaining to this subject. Until recently I too didn't always respond because I was so concerned about hurting the person's feelings. Your post put it in a totally different light, and I should have known it would come across as rude.



God Bless,

Laurie

Jan 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Laura-896845 said: If someone doesn't reply back to me, it bothers me... usually for about half a second. That j...
(Quote) Laura-896845 said:

If someone doesn't reply back to me, it bothers me... usually for about half a second. That just seems to be how a lot of people operate online. Whether they send you a polite brush-off or just don't reply, isn't the end message of "not interested" you receive the same? Why even waste your time wondering why they didn't reply? What's the point of that? Even when messages sent to fellow women (who I know have paid subscriptions) do not spur a friendly reply, why should I waste my time wishing I could control their behavior when I can only control mine?


There are guys I've messaged who I know have paid subscriptions who have never responded to me. Meh. There could be a whole slew of reasons for that, and I'm not wasting my time trying to guess the infinite possibilities. Of course, I'm also not wasting my energy mentally badmouthing them either- they seemed like nice guys, which is why I messaged them in the first place. And in all charity, they probably ARE actual nice guys, and I wish them well.


So what's really the big deal if it's a turn-off for you? Does anybody here WANT to remain attracted to someone who is not interested in you? No! So think about it like this: they did you a favor. And now you can shake the dust from your sandals, say, "NEXT!" and get on with other pursuits.


We all have better things to do than to get bent out of shape about this.

--hide--

Good point. I am learning so much from my brothers and sisters on this site.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

My advice is don't' worry so much about the people who don't reply to you focus on the ones that do :) Just have fun with the site.

Jan 2nd 2013 new

I just started a paid membership, although I have had one in the past. As before, I just don't *get* the smilies. I imagine someone sending one to every single person they're remotely interested in. I don't feel an obligation to respond to the ones sent by people I'm not interested in, since it took that person virtually no time to send it. I've even gotten some with very creepy messages along with them, that I am quite SURE were not written just for me, since the person had not even viewed my profile! I look at a smiley as being an unspoken, "Are you interested??" I'm not going to reply with a written "NO" and make that person feel bad. I feel like my non-response is a "Not Interested" button in itself.

That being said, I will ALWAYS respond to a well-written message, since it actually took a bit of time for the person to write it and shows that they are willing to "step up."

I think it all depends on how you view the site. If you view it as a reproduction of the real world, where everyone on it just happens to be single, then of course you should return all the smilies you get, just as you would return the smiles of people that passed you on the street. However, my view of the site is that everyone on it is searching for a potential spouse, and I feel that it could get confusing very quickly if everybody is sending mixed signals.

Posts 41 - 50 of 70