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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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01/03/2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: It depends on the relationship with that guy that you have.Yes it can be seen as a state ...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

It depends on the relationship with that guy that you have.

Yes it can be seen as a state of mind. Women need to really face facts about how a man's body will respond to the visual cue though. The fact that men are differnt from us ladies is something we need to consider. In doing so we are protecting ourselves as a couple.

I had a guy ask me to go with him to the mountains where I would be sleeping in a tent in the snow when I was 18, 19. I knew what that implied. It was 1976-77 before the advent of HIV and so many STD's. It was during the explosion of FREE LOVE into the dating scene and the disco era was beginning. The idea was to go cross country sking. Which would have been so much fun.. I was not very happy as to what the sleeping in a tent implied. I did not go and would not have been allowed to go and I do not regret that at all.

It does not take much maturity to have sex. It takes thought and mature thinking to reason the issue out and to make prudent decisions.

You have to know your partner/friend/date.

--hide--

The only part of this response I will differ with is the first sentence: the nature of the relationship oesn't matter at all (unless he is your husband). While it may be anticipated that temptations will be greater between two people who are attracted to each other, there is no guarantee even platonic friends will be safe from same. In some ways the risks are higher because the platonic friends may let their guard down, assuming nothing will happen. Heck, if it can happen to Hawkeye and Houlihan it can happen to anyone!

01/03/2013 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: (Quote) Patricia-925069 said: Well I'm not sure if you...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Quote:
Patricia-925069 said:

Well I'm not sure if you have noticed the MTV generation? Have you seen Jersey shore? Majority of young adults regardless of their faith whether it be Jewish, Catholic, etc have been brainwashed. How many 20 somethings go to your church out of free will? I'm in the minority. I am also the only one under 50 going to daily mass. What you consider "By the age of 27, people have had enough religious education" is a falacy. I know my Jewish friends are going through the same thing. Some of us haven't gone to private religious school. Some of us have had to go on our own for spiritual guidance and seek the word of God. Once again, you need to understand what is fundamentally happening to my generation to understand what I'm coming from. I am honestly asking for direction and help and I am getting nothing but holier than thou responses.


Most Catholics (in fact most people period) haven't gone to a parochial school. It's a fact though that sufficient education in one's faith is sadly lacking in general. Real education is developed in the home -- from parents. Additional programs are available at nearly all Churches to educate people in the fundamentals. If for some reason you've had to "go it alone" as you put it for spiritual guidance, then we should give you credit that is due. Not eveyone does this.

As for the MTV generation, I don't watch much TV and am not familiar with Jersey Shore. From what I've seen of any TV, a lot of it is trashy. The simple solution is to not watch it. There are more worthwhile things to do.

You seem sincere in your question (although I wasn't sure how to take it in your original post), but you haven't acknowledged the positive responses you've gotten, including 2 excellent sources: the Catechism and the book Theology of the Body, as well as the blog that was mentioned. The Catechism is more easily read if you have the book (eBay has some used ones that usually sell for about $10.00); also it is online. All you need to do is Google "Catechism of the Catholic Church" and find appropriate passages relating to chastity and purity.

The Catechism is full of knowledge of the fundamentals of your Faith. There's a wealth of knowledge in it -- most of it is easily understood, or at least as much as possible, given that there are many mysteries in our Faith.

We don't want or need acknowledgement that this information has been passed onto you -- we are directing you to the sources of information that you seek. The rest is up to you. If there are questions (most likely there will be), you can talk to your parish priest or spiritual advisor. There's nothing they haven't been asked before so there's no need to be shy about it.

--hide--


WAIT! Some liberals priests have told couples to "celebrate their love." I just want to share that. I was in a relationship where a priest told my boyfriend and I that it was ok.. How terrible that he said that because it is not following Catholic teaching and of course we did not agree with this guy (the priest). These liberals are now getting pretty old and maybe dying off but still one has to go in with their/our eyes open as to who they are talking to and what is Catholic teaching on Chastity.

01/03/2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: It depends on the relationship with that guy tha...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

It depends on the relationship with that guy that you have.

Yes it can be seen as a state of mind. Women need to really face facts about how a man's body will respond to the visual cue though. The fact that men are differnt from us ladies is something we need to consider. In doing so we are protecting ourselves as a couple.

I had a guy ask me to go with him to the mountains where I would be sleeping in a tent in the snow when I was 18, 19. I knew what that implied. It was 1976-77 before the advent of HIV and so many STD's. It was during the explosion of FREE LOVE into the dating scene and the disco era was beginning. The idea was to go cross country sking. Which would have been so much fun.. I was not very happy as to what the sleeping in a tent implied. I did not go and would not have been allowed to go and I do not regret that at all.

It does not take much maturity to have sex. It takes thought and mature thinking to reason the issue out and to make prudent decisions.

You have to know your partner/friend/date.


The only part of this response I will differ with is the first sentence: the nature of the relationship oesn't matter at all (unless he is your husband). While it may be anticipated that temptations will be greater between two people who are attracted to each other, there is no guarantee even platonic friends will be safe from same. In some ways the risks are higher because the platonic friends may let their guard down, assuming nothing will happen. Heck, if it can happen to Hawkeye and Houlihan it can happen to anyone!

--hide--


It is true that it could happen to anyone.

01/03/2013 new

I hope someone else will post.


I did not mean and never ever mean to kill a thread.

But I have killed lots here in my time on CM... which is limited and which will soon be........... ending.. embarassed boggled

01/04/2013 new

Good evening, Patricia. I wanted to thank you for posting such a serious question. You've gotten a lot of answers here, everything from discussions of doctrine -- which is what I think you're asking about -- to criticisms of "liberal" or common American culture. There's been some great responses, and some prudent suggestions.

Here's my take, for whatever use it might be to you:

I would approach the question of what's "allowed" by asking rather what's "best". Where do you and your dating partner see yourselves, now or in the future? There's a presumption here that you're looking to discern whether you two are called to a vocation, but that presumption might be off-base. So, first, find out what you want.

Then make decisions based on those goals. The Church asks her single members to be chaste, and I've found that to be wise counsel. It's hard to hear God's call over the noise of smooching and fondling.

My specific advice: I've traveled with female friends over the years, with whom I have no romantic interest in the least. I've also traveled with women I was dating. In both cases, we've sometimes shared hotel rooms, the same as we would share each other's company in the car or across a table in a restaurant. But if that ever started to cause problems, or provoke temptation, I'd offer to pay for two rooms. Not because it's the rule, but because it's prudent.

Good luck, and may God bless you and your relationship.

01/04/2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: Well frankly isn't temptation a state of mind? For example if I&#...
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

Well frankly isn't temptation a state of mind?

For example if I'm going camping and sharing a tent with someone I'm dating. Say this tent is really big. We are both sleeping on the extreme opposite sides. What if there is not lust or mental temptation. It's literally sleeping in a tent. Would you consider that bad? Also I travel often and with one of my good guy friends. We typically to save costs get double beds. We are not attracted to eachother and we practically consider eachother family (as in sibling relationship). Is that considered bad?

--hide--
Temptation = Satan hard at work.

01/04/2013 new

Hello Patricia wave;


I would say to you first try to avoid any occasion that would lead you to fall into sin, you may overcome the temptation by praying more and fasting if you are able to do so and don't forget to visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament he is there waiting for you; go and just talk to him in silence and he will help you in what ever need you may have. Patricia don't forget that God is full of love and mercy but God does not go against our will, he made us with free will to choose water or fire or perhaps what's right or wrong, when you pray ask for discernment.

About dating you may date someone and get to know the person but be very careful with getting to close to the next person specially when kissing or getting close him that may lead to some type of physical intimacy and that may lead to something more, careful you may be putting yourself in danger. Never forget if you fall God is there to help get back up just go to confession right away but try not to fall back into the same thing.

Last go over the 10 Commandments one by one, if you own the Roman Missal it has prayers in the back it also has a section taht will help you with some questions on each commandments about going to Confession and live in God's Grace. God Bless and i hope this helps.



01/04/2013 new
Patricia, you used the phrase "false assumptions" which fits perfectly for your camping question. We need to consider what our actions, however innocent they may be, look to the people around us. By sharing a tent or room, you give others a possible false impression of the situation. We lead by example and others shouldn't be led to confusion by that example. Others don't know if you two are being chaste behind closed door or tent flap. Unfortunately most will assume the worst-- false assumptions.
01/04/2013 new

Clean Love in Courtship by Fr. Lovasik

apostlesofmary.webs.com

However, I also like to balance this with the sections on friendship and society in the "Introduction to the Devout Life" by Gentleman Saint and Church Doctor, Francis de Sales.

Church teaching on mixed gender friendships:

catholic-lifetime-reading-plan.blogspot.com

01/04/2013 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Temptation = Satan hard at work.
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Temptation = Satan hard at work.

--hide--

Or not so hard, when we make it easy for him by setting the stage and placing ourselves in the middle of it.

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