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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: (Quote) Pamela-577899 said: If you are following the church...
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

Quote:
Pamela-577899 said:




If you are following the church teachings then you already no what is wrong. As for being grown up enough to control your self while traveling get two rooms travel with others to be safe. Yet , I have myself traveled with guys and we have due to lack of money gotten one room and 2 beds but in the end those guys are just very good friends with me at the time they were more than that but very respectful. making out is alright as long as you don't get too hot . I kissing is not at all a bad thing but you both need to talk about this stuff before engaging in it . Communicate with each other, take your time with with each other as well. Just my 2 cents.


Well frankly isn't temptation a state of mind?

For example if I'm going camping and sharing a tent with someone I'm dating. Say this tent is really big. We are both sleeping on the extreme opposite sides. What if there is not lust or mental temptation. It's literally sleeping in a tent. Would you consider that bad? Also I travel often and with one of my good guy friends. We typically to save costs get double beds. We are not attracted to eachother and we practically consider eachother family (as in sibling relationship). Is that considered bad?

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Sorry I didn't get back to this quicker Patricia I had tech issues. I do agree with you Patricia temptation is a state of mind and is different for each individual. My favorite priest always points out the we are individuals and that what some find a temptation is not and vice versea . I have guy friends that are like brothers and would not even worry about sleeping in a tent or bed or anything with them . In fact if traveling together not just to cut costs but for safety issue would stay with since I can trust them and they can trust me. Some might consider it bad but you don't need to bother paying mind to them . You are an adult and more importantly you know the people and the situation best. There for you know you are not doing anything at all wrong so don't worry about it .

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Quick..Lock the door and don't let Jerry in this thread..
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

Quick..Lock the door and don't let Jerry in this thread..

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dating is always an occasion of sin. (he paid me to say that) wink

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: What is the name of the book? And the author's name? I'm not about p...
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

What is the name of the book? And the author's name? I'm not about playing with matches. Thanks.

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Mary Beth Bonacci is also a good writer on this topic. She contributes to the CM Blog as well. Her books may be aimed at a slightly younger audience, but they are still well worth reading.

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Patricia,I have a friend with whom I discussed some of these issues times recentl...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



Patricia,

I have a friend with whom I discussed some of these issues times recently as she has a suitor (age 75) who is attempting to seduce her.( I am guessing she is age 65.) I have a thread about it in the Womens Room called "Women Men Love, Women Men Leave" the title comes from a book I am recommending in my thread which analyzes love VERY Carefully by two male doctors who are the authors. I suggest you visit my thread. This thread also discusses some movies I had my friend watch, My friend is about 65.

She told me that she and the men in her age group were raised to be moral and avoid premarital sex but to get married.

However then the free love era started i(n the 60's) and her generation ushered it in. By the time I reached the age to date- men EXPECTED it. They expected premarital sex and most things leading to it.

I am not saying they were wrong to expect it but that the societal shift happened where it became expected potentially on a DATE. That was when things changed and men and ladies had to negotiate their dates and figure out how to deal with temptation and figure out exactly what they were willing to do on their dates. It happend where hippies were having sex and then the disco era arrived.

This was where woman went out with their diaphragm in their "disco purse"- or condoms in their disco purse and would meet someone while out dancing. I never did this but used to joke with a boyfriend about women who did this.

This shift in societal thinking and social "norms" made it much harder to date.

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Yes, this societal shift is killing me. I had no idea sex was expected on the third date until I saw an episode of the Big Bang Theory. I looked it up on Google and was shocked. This actually explains a lot. Even most of the guys who pop up in my searches here on CM claim 'No' on contraception and premarital sex. It leaves me with a hopeless outlook. How am I going to find a husband?!

Thanks for the historical context. :) God Bless!

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Patricia,I have a friend wit...
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



Patricia,

I have a friend with whom I discussed some of these issues times recently as she has a suitor (age 75) who is attempting to seduce her.( I am guessing she is age 65.) I have a thread about it in the Womens Room called "Women Men Love, Women Men Leave" the title comes from a book I am recommending in my thread which analyzes love VERY Carefully by two male doctors who are the authors. I suggest you visit my thread. This thread also discusses some movies I had my friend watch, My friend is about 65.

She told me that she and the men in her age group were raised to be moral and avoid premarital sex but to get married.

However then the free love era started i(n the 60's) and her generation ushered it in. By the time I reached the age to date- men EXPECTED it. They expected premarital sex and most things leading to it.

I am not saying they were wrong to expect it but that the societal shift happened where it became expected potentially on a DATE. That was when things changed and men and ladies had to negotiate their dates and figure out how to deal with temptation and figure out exactly what they were willing to do on their dates. It happend where hippies were having sex and then the disco era arrived.

This was where woman went out with their diaphragm in their "disco purse"- or condoms in their disco purse and would meet someone while out dancing. I never did this but used to joke with a boyfriend about women who did this.

This shift in societal thinking and social "norms" made it much harder to date.


Yes, this societal shift is killing me. I had no idea sex was expected on the third date until I saw an episode of the Big Bang Theory. I looked it up on Google and was shocked. This actually explains a lot. Even most of the guys who pop up in my searches here on CM claim 'No' on contraception and premarital sex. It leaves me with a hopeless outlook. How am I going to find a husband?!

Thanks for the historical context. :) God Bless!

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I am so glad that my experiences and comments on these things can help someone else navigate these waters.... I am sorry you are encountering this...

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Pamela-577899 said: Sorry I didn't get back to this quicker Patricia I had tech issues. I do agr...
(Quote) Pamela-577899 said:





Sorry I didn't get back to this quicker Patricia I had tech issues. I do agree with you Patricia temptation is a state of mind and is different for each individual. My favorite priest always points out the we are individuals and that what some find a temptation is not and vice versea . I have guy friends that are like brothers and would not even worry about sleeping in a tent or bed or anything with them . In fact if traveling together not just to cut costs but for safety issue would stay with since I can trust them and they can trust me. Some might consider it bad but you don't need to bother paying mind to them . You are an adult and more importantly you know the people and the situation best. There for you know you are not doing anything at all wrong so don't worry about it .

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Thanks Pamela! I just don't want to offend God. :D

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Sometimes even separation won't work. It seems if people are bent on mischief, they'll find...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Sometimes even separation won't work. It seems if people are bent on mischief, they'll find a way no matter what.

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I definitely agree and thats why I really believe a person in their concious knows. Like for example. Say there is a cute guy that I am attracted to. Thats a big red flag if we would be in a tent together there could be problems. Verses the dorky neighbor friend that I have known forever that has explicitly stated he has no attraction for me what so ever especially because he is into petite girls because he himself is half the size of me.

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Margo-404841 said: Patricia, I am so glad that you are seeking wisdom. I am familiar with Jersey Shore, the MTV gene...
(Quote) Margo-404841 said:

Patricia, I am so glad that you are seeking wisdom. I am familiar with Jersey Shore, the MTV generation, how the Internet how allowed people to become addicted to pornography, lead double lives....all of that. People who do not live deeply in the dominant culture have no idea what's out there, how deeply troubled things are in our society. Overall, you are receiving good advice and some humor thrown in, too, in this thread. God bless you for treasuring your soul and taking care of your body, your mind and your future. And I hope that some guys your age are cluing in to your good sense and dating potential!

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Thanks! God Bless!

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: WAIT! Some liberals priests have told couples to "celebrate their love." I just...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



WAIT! Some liberals priests have told couples to "celebrate their love." I just want to share that. I was in a relationship where a priest told my boyfriend and I that it was ok.. How terrible that he said that because it is not following Catholic teaching and of course we did not agree with this guy (the priest). These liberals are now getting pretty old and maybe dying off but still one has to go in with their/our eyes open as to who they are talking to and what is Catholic teaching on Chastity.

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No its not dying out. There are plenty Catholic priests who are turning a blind eye to variety of things including premartial sex. It's very common in Los Angeles. I feel like Priests out here are really open about a variety of things. It's really not helping me at all. Pray for Priests because this is a serious problem!

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: (Quote) Ray-566531 said: Calm down, Patricia. Bob has demonstrated a gr...
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

Quote:
Ray-566531 said:

Calm down, Patricia. Bob has demonstrated a great deal of common sense and knowledge during his time in the forums. He was attempting to impart knowledge and his thoughts and what he said has merit. He is speaking from a man of faith point of view. It seems you are looking for a specific list of "do's" and "don't's", as if it were a checklist.

The accusations that he "not very Catholic"; the recommendations that he should be "talking to a Priest" and "go pray about this" are uncalled for.

By the age of 27, people have had enough religious education (or at least should have) to be able to have an informed conscience. If your catechesis is lacking, you may need to get a fresh start with the basics.

As a newer CM member, we welcome you, and are glad you are coming to the forums. However, this is meant to be a place to share wisdom, knowledge and experience. Personal attacks and condescending remarks are not appropriate.

Just a suggestion -- browse through other topics, or look up some individuals' posting history where you can gain some insight about the people whom you are addressing. A good place to start would be with Bob.


Well I'm not sure if you have noticed the MTV generation? Have you seen Jersey shore? Majority of young adults regardless of their faith whether it be Jewish, Catholic, etc have been brainwashed. How many 20 somethings go to your church out of free will? I'm in the minority. I am also the only one under 50 going to daily mass. What you consider "By the age of 27, people have had enough religious education" is a falacy. I know my Jewish friends are going through the same thing. Some of us haven't gone to private religious school. Some of us have had to go on our own for spiritual guidance and seek the word of God. Once again, you need to understand what is fundamentally happening to my generation to understand what I'm coming from. I am honestly asking for direction and help and I am getting nothing but holier than thou responses.

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I wish you were just a hair younger.... I have a super cute son almost 22 in Febuary.... He told me he is not going to date again until he meets that perfect woman,,, he said he knows what he wants in a woman and when he finds her he will marry her...

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