Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 8th 2013 new

Dont give up ... they are out there.... My cousins daughter about your age met a guy on here...

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: I was wondering what are the rules of engagement for dating in the Catholic church. What is co...
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

I was wondering what are the rules of engagement for dating in the Catholic church. What is considered exceptable and not?

For example:

When traveling do we have to get two seperate rooms or sleeping on two seperate beds okay?

Or what are the rules of physical intimacy (obviously sex is out of the question) but what about making out?

Or any random things that a non practicing Catholic would take for granted...

Thank you!

--hide--

My opinion..use your common sense, if you share a room with a platonic friend then that's OK. Making out..kissing, I think the old rule was not to 'French Kiss' so just a affectionate kiss on the lips would be OK. Touching..occasional holding hands and a gentle hug not too long or tight.

The biggest problem you're going have is expressing your true feelings with that 'potential' man. You're going to have to explain what you want in the relationship. Making love means going 'all the way' which means having a child. Every couple needs to bond spiritually which means knowing and understanding each other, when anyone fails to bond then they have committed adultery on some level.

Anyway, lot's of luck. You have the looks so all you need is a little courage to set the rules in case the potential is indifferent. And I think there are a lot of young men out there that would respect a woman like you.

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: (Quote) Ray-566531 said: Sometimes even separation won't work. It s...
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

Quote:
Ray-566531 said:

Sometimes even separation won't work. It seems if people are bent on mischief, they'll find a way no matter what.


I definitely agree and thats why I really believe a person in their concious knows. Like for example. Say there is a cute guy that I am attracted to. Thats a big red flag if we would be in a tent together there could be problems. Verses the dorky neighbor friend that I have known forever that has explicitly stated he has no attraction for me what so ever especially because he is into petite girls because he himself is half the size of me.

--hide--

"What harm can there be?", said the serpent, "it's just the dorky guy next door!"

One night one of you is unusually lonely or emotionally vulnerable.

Or it's very cold and damp and you both are chilled to the bone. What harm can come from cuddling up in the sleeping bag to conserve body heat. After all, neither of you is attracted to the other, right?

There are any number of ways the seemingly safe, stable dynamic can change. Some "innocent", some not. As the saying goes, "pride goes before the fall", where in this case the pride is our belief we couldn't possible fall into the same trap that has been ensnaring men since the beginning of mankind.

Keep in mind the barrier doesn't have to fall all at once. Perhaps the first time it's, "gee, that was fun! Nothing bad happened, so what can it hurt to try it again next time? After all, we're not attracted to each other..." Each time the limits get pushed a little bit further, until...

In another response you said you don't want to offend God. Do you think He isn't offended when his children play with matches and gasoline like this?

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Sometimes even separation won't work. It seems if people are bent on mischief, they'll find...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Sometimes even separation won't work. It seems if people are bent on mischief, they'll find a way no matter what.

--hide--

It's not those intent on doing wrong we're trying to protect; it's those with good intentions but a weak will and/or a lack of prudence. "The way to hell is paved with good intentions."

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: Yes, this societal shift is killing me. I had no idea sex was expected on the third date until...
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

Yes, this societal shift is killing me. I had no idea sex was expected on the third date until I saw an episode of the Big Bang Theory. I looked it up on Google and was shocked. This actually explains a lot. Even most of the guys who pop up in my searches here on CM claim 'No' on contraception and premarital sex. It leaves me with a hopeless outlook. How am I going to find a husband?!

Thanks for the historical context. :) God Bless!

--hide--

Be patient, have faith in God, and don't fall for the lies of the many.

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Pamela-577899 said: Sorry I didn't get back to this quicker Patricia I had tech issues. I do agree with you Patr...
(Quote) Pamela-577899 said:

Sorry I didn't get back to this quicker Patricia I had tech issues. I do agree with you Patricia temptation is a state of mind and is different for each individual. My favorite priest always points out the we are individuals and that what some find a temptation is not and vice versea . I have guy friends that are like brothers and would not even worry about sleeping in a tent or bed or anything with them . In fact if traveling together not just to cut costs but for safety issue would stay with since I can trust them and they can trust me. Some might consider it bad but you don't need to bother paying mind to them . You are an adult and more importantly you know the people and the situation best. There for you know you are not doing anything at all wrong so don't worry about it .

--hide--

"But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of paradise, God hath commanded us that we should not eat; and that we should not touch it, lest perhaps we die. And the serpent said to the woman: No, you shall not die the death. For God doth know that in what day soever you shall eat thereof, your eyes shall be opened: and you shall be as Gods, knowing good and evil. And the woman saw that the tree was good to eat, and fair to the eyes, and delightful to behold: and she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave to her husband who did eat. And the eyes of them both were opened: and when they perceived themselves to be naked, they sewed together fig leaves, and made themselves aprons. " (Gen. 3:3-7)

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: (Quote) Pamela-577899 said: Sorry I didn't get back to this quicker...
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

Quote:
Pamela-577899 said:

Sorry I didn't get back to this quicker Patricia I had tech issues. I do agree with you Patricia temptation is a state of mind and is different for each individual. My favorite priest always points out the we are individuals and that what some find a temptation is not and vice versea . I have guy friends that are like brothers and would not even worry about sleeping in a tent or bed or anything with them . In fact if traveling together not just to cut costs but for safety issue would stay with since I can trust them and they can trust me. Some might consider it bad but you don't need to bother paying mind to them . You are an adult and more importantly you know the people and the situation best. There for you know you are not doing anything at all wrong so don't worry about it .


Thanks Pamela! I just don't want to offend God. :D

--hide--

When you love someone, do you do the minimum you can get away with, or go out of your way to do what you think will please them? Do you do what you want or what they want of you?

Why then not the same for God? Scripture, the Church, and even His own Mother all tell us the gravity of the sins against purity. That these sins are responsible for the loss of more souls than any other. Yet we bend over backwards to justify putting ourselves in harm's way.

Following the advice above is one sure way to offend God. What it amounts to is putting pride and arrogance ahead of the love of God. Intentionally putting ourself in a situations the Church teaches us to avoid because she is aware of the weakness of human nature, the temptations that result, and how often men fall because of these.

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: Thanks Pamela! I just don't want to offend God. :D
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

Thanks Pamela! I just don't want to offend God. :D

--hide--

This is a very long document, but it is essential to understanding many of the problems in modern society, including the type "reasoning" and rationalizations present in much of the advice presented in this topic. Do yourself a favor: take a short time-out from the dating game, print this document, and scan through it once. Then grab a highlighter and read through it carefully. Think about how it relates to your own experiences and what you see happening in the world today.

www.vatican.va
(Pius X, Pascendi Dominici (1907))

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-925069 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: WAIT! Some liberals priests have tol...
(Quote) Patricia-925069 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



WAIT! Some liberals priests have told couples to "celebrate their love." I just want to share that. I was in a relationship where a priest told my boyfriend and I that it was ok.. How terrible that he said that because it is not following Catholic teaching and of course we did not agree with this guy (the priest). These liberals are now getting pretty old and maybe dying off but still one has to go in with their/our eyes open as to who they are talking to and what is Catholic teaching on Chastity.


No its not dying out. There are plenty Catholic priests who are turning a blind eye to variety of things including premartial sex. It's very common in Los Angeles. I feel like Priests out here are really open about a variety of things. It's really not helping me at all. Pray for Priests because this is a serious problem!

--hide--


That one I referenced was in the SanJose Diocese back when he told us to "celebrate." I also lived in LA in both Long Beach and Canoga Park and went all over LA to Mass. I ran into many priests that have no morality guiding them there. It is the Modernist approach and this approach ignores how the Church teaches us to follow chastity... So they are not dying off yet, then....

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: (Quote) Pamela-577899 said: Sorry I didn't get back to this quicker Pat...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Quote:
Pamela-577899 said:

Sorry I didn't get back to this quicker Patricia I had tech issues. I do agree with you Patricia temptation is a state of mind and is different for each individual. My favorite priest always points out the we are individuals and that what some find a temptation is not and vice versea . I have guy friends that are like brothers and would not even worry about sleeping in a tent or bed or anything with them . In fact if traveling together not just to cut costs but for safety issue would stay with since I can trust them and they can trust me. Some might consider it bad but you don't need to bother paying mind to them . You are an adult and more importantly you know the people and the situation best. There for you know you are not doing anything at all wrong so don't worry about it .


"But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of paradise, God hath commanded us that we should not eat; and that we should not touch it, lest perhaps we die. And the serpent said to the woman: No, you shall not die the death. For God doth know that in what day soever you shall eat thereof, your eyes shall be opened: and you shall be as Gods, knowing good and evil. And the woman saw that the tree was good to eat, and fair to the eyes, and delightful to behold: and she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave to her husband who did eat. And the eyes of them both were opened: and when they perceived themselves to be naked, they sewed together fig leaves, and made themselves aprons. " (Gen. 3:3-7)

--hide--





Jerry,

I appericate what you quoted but honestly some relationships are just friendly. Not everything and not every male female relationship has or will have sexual issues or temptations .

Posts 71 - 80 of 81