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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Men and Women friendship..

Jan 3rd 2013 new

Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationships start without friendship, right?

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationship...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationships start without friendship, right?

--hide--


A relationship without friendship isn't a relationship. What do you have when the principles of friendship are absent in a romantic relationship besides attraction and lust?


Just my two cents


theheart

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationship...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationships start without friendship, right?

--hide--

My immediate response is "of course" but perhaps I'm not clear on what you're asking. I would hope it is essential that if a man and woman are in a relationship that they were friends first or at least developed a strong friendship as they grew in the relationship - if they aren't, I might be idealistic to think that friendship is a requirement, but it seems to me that the relationship will be very tumultuous in the long term.

For me, the bigger question is can a man and woman be friends when one of the persons is married? My experience is that's a big NO. I became friends with a man at work who is married and after about 8 months he started exhibiting signs of attraction. I was hoping he'd be able to get over it so I just kind of ignored the signs for awhile. But...very disappointing. It didn't change. I definitely felt it was my responsibility to start avoiding him for both our sakes. Probably the right choice?

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: My immediate response is "of course" but perhaps I'm not clear on what y...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

My immediate response is "of course" but perhaps I'm not clear on what you're asking. I would hope it is essential that if a man and woman are in a relationship that they were friends first or at least developed a strong friendship as they grew in the relationship - if they aren't, I might be idealistic to think that friendship is a requirement, but it seems to me that the relationship will be very tumultuous in the long term.

For me, the bigger question is can a man and woman be friends when one of the persons is married? My experience is that's a big NO. I became friends with a man at work who is married and after about 8 months he started exhibiting signs of attraction. I was hoping he'd be able to get over it so I just kind of ignored the signs for awhile. But...very disappointing. It didn't change. I definitely felt it was my responsibility to start avoiding him for both our sakes. Probably the right choice?

--hide--


My two cents is:


Yes, at least for me, to be in a relationship with a woman we would need to be friends; to be married to a woman, we would need to be best of friends (however, we would need to had additional friends, maybe even exclusive friends).


Yes, as a single man, three of my closest friends are married women, one is my neighbor and two are coworkers. I'm blessed to have them in my life!

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationship...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationships start without friendship, right?

--hide--
I think in order to have a successful relationship you need to be friends first. If you are not friends how can the relationship last????

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: A relationship without friendship isn't a relationship. What do you have when t...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


A relationship without friendship isn't a relationship. What do you have when the principles of friendship are absent in a romantic relationship besides attraction and lust?


Just my


Okay. Then somebody needs to explain to me how do men and women become friends...because I for once realized I never had a friendship with a man before a relationship. Hmmm this has me thinking maybe that was part of the problem!!

--hide--

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: For me, the bigger question is can a man and woman be friends when one of the persons ...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

For me, the bigger question is can a man and woman be friends when one of the persons is married?

--hide--


I'll disagree with your answer on this based on my own experiences, as most of my female friends are married. My one rule when becoming serious friends with a married woman is that she introduce me to her husband at some point not too long into the future. I always introduce myself so he knows who I am, and I always try to build a repoire with him as well. That one little step eliminates a lot of questions, particularly when she should happen to mention your name in his presence. Men are FAR more comfortable when they hear the names of men who are familiar to them rather than names of unknown friends.

Just mt two cents


theheart

Jan 3rd 2013 new

I think the only successful relationships must start with friendship!! Why on earth would you want to have a relationship with someone you aren't even friends with?????? Maybe your relationship started as a noticing of physical attraction, but it better mover quickly on to something a lot more substantial or it's just a lust. A superficial "you attract me because of your looks/money/availablity/capabilities" instead of who the person 'is' is not going to be enough to sustain anything.

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

--hide--


That was probably a major factor, sure. Without the principles of faith and friendship as your foundation, what were those relationships built on?


theheart

Jan 3rd 2013 new

Okay then someone has some explaining to do...how do men and women become friends? I honestly don't think I ever had a male friend. Hmmm, this has got me thinking that is probably part of the problem of my past relationships...ugh.

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