Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: My immediate response is "of course" but perhaps I'm not clear on what y...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

My immediate response is "of course" but perhaps I'm not clear on what you're asking. I would hope it is essential that if a man and woman are in a relationship that they were friends first or at least developed a strong friendship as they grew in the relationship - if they aren't, I might be idealistic to think that friendship is a requirement, but it seems to me that the relationship will be very tumultuous in the long term.

For me, the bigger question is can a man and woman be friends when one of the persons is married? My experience is that's a big NO. I became friends with a man at work who is married and after about 8 months he started exhibiting signs of attraction. I was hoping he'd be able to get over it so I just kind of ignored the signs for awhile. But...very disappointing. It didn't change. I definitely felt it was my responsibility to start avoiding him for both our sakes. Probably the right choice?

--hide--


Not sure if that goes the other way though. I could be wrong.

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationship...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationships start without friendship, right?

--hide--


Thisis an excellent topic to discuss. The answer is complicated.

Jan 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationship...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationships start without friendship, right?

--hide--


I have had several close male friends over the years! We are still friends. Some I have dated, some I have not. I have a close male friend now that I will never date or have a relationship with other than friendship. Knowing that boundary makes the friendship richer, I think. There are no worries or concerns about anything beyond friendship!

Jan 3rd 2013 new

wink Personally, the 2 best relationships I ever had started out s being friends for around a year before things went further.


Once we decided to try to be more than friends, it was a little bit of a transition, but the relationship after that small period was wonderful. It was like having a best friend then a boyfriend all rolled into one. What could be better? cool

Jan 3rd 2013 new

I find it takes a certain personality to be able to be friends with the opposite sex and stay "just friends" - I have many many male friends and (to my knowledge) the idea of being in a relationship has not come up with them, other than perhaps in jest. When I was young(er) and dumb(er) I was a tiny bit freewheelin', so I got physically affectionate with many of my male friends (usually when alcohol was involved) but it never crossed my mind to be in a relationship with them.

Unfortunately, I get friend-zoned a lot. Guys say I think like they do. All of my relationships have suffered "I can't appreciate your femininty- you're such a guy!" so, perhaps it is ismply a personality type who can or cannot be friends with the opposite sex?

Jan 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: Okay then someone has some explaining to do...how do men and women become friends? I honestly ...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

Okay then someone has some explaining to do...how do men and women become friends? I honestly don't think I ever had a male friend. Hmmm, this has got me thinking that is probably part of the problem of my past relationships...ugh.

--hide--
Michelle......how does a woman and man become friends??? Well I think you can become friends when you have a common interest. Could be anything. I have 2 really good male friends......one I work with.....he is married and I am friends with his wife also. My other friend I met in a prayer group. He is a great friend.

Jan 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationship...
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship? Most relationships start without friendship, right?

--hide--
Are you asking if it is possible to be friends with your significant other or just with a member of the opposite sex?
When I was dating my ex husband, he had a friend that was in the Navy and he became my friend too. We have remained
friends for over 30 years now and he is my go-to person when I need assistance with issues in my life that I know he can
help me with. He is a very good friend, a role model for my sons, and a great source of information. He has lived all over
the world and brings alot to conversation and is quite witty. Nothing romantic but we are very much alike and would be a
tug-of-war!

I think alot of relationships start with friendship but some start because of that immediate attraction that brings you together.
There are so many reasons for the attraction but I think that only makes you want to know that person better and certainly
would start off as a friendship. I am a romantic at heart so maybe it could start off as love at first site! Relationships are a little
complicated sometimes but that is the challenge.

Jan 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-346082 said: I have had several close male friends over the years! We are still friends. Some I have d...
(Quote) Donna-346082 said:



I have had several close male friends over the years! We are still friends. Some I have dated, some I have not. I have a close male friend now that I will never date or have a relationship with other than friendship. Knowing that boundary makes the friendship richer, I think. There are no worries or concerns about anything beyond friendship!

--hide--


Your reply is more in line with my opinion. I had a female friend who we twice had a length of time of some dating. Both times in our lives it wasn't the right thing to turn it into something more. We stayed friends and still do to this day. I prize that I'm uncle John to her children. Both she and her husband are experts in my career field. A few years ago, he saved me thousands of dollars with his advice. The thing you have to do is tell yourself this statement: "we are friends." Let it sink in and then accept that this is the rule. I think God has a way of leading us to our eventual "home" with the quality people who enter our lives and when we give it the time it needs, as grandma used to say, "all things have a way of working out for the better."

Jan 4th 2013 new
The Gentleman Saint and Church Doctor writes about this in the Introduction to the Devout Life, a classic recommended by many popes. See also my summary from a variety of Church references on the topic. I am a godfather because of the Gentleman. Saint's writings approved and recommended by the Church.

catholic-lifetime-reading-plan.blogspot.com
Jan 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: My immediate response is "of course" but perhaps I'm not clear on what y...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

My immediate response is "of course" but perhaps I'm not clear on what you're asking. I would hope it is essential that if a man and woman are in a relationship that they were friends first or at least developed a strong friendship as they grew in the relationship - if they aren't, I might be idealistic to think that friendship is a requirement, but it seems to me that the relationship will be very tumultuous in the long term.

For me, the bigger question is can a man and woman be friends when one of the persons is married? My experience is that's a big NO. I became friends with a man at work who is married and after about 8 months he started exhibiting signs of attraction. I was hoping he'd be able to get over it so I just kind of ignored the signs for awhile. But...very disappointing. It didn't change. I definitely felt it was my responsibility to start avoiding him for both our sakes. Probably the right choice?

--hide--


Kristin, great question.. from reading about experiences and watching shows it seems like being friends with a Married coworker most often starts out with good intentions but sometimes ends up going down the wrong road due to one or the other or both wanting more. I find that since we spend so much time at work and what i try to do is limit my "friendships" with Married co-workers of the opposite sex to casual conversation and courtesies and not much more than that or tongues will wag. biggrin

Posts 11 - 20 of 59