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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 6th 2013 new

My two cents:

If there is no romantic feeling or intent between a man and a woman, then it is just a friendship. That is possible and friendships are valuable interactions in our lives, but they are not romances.

If there is only a romantic attraction, but no friendship, then it is not a solid relationship IMHO. If you only like to be around the person because you are attracted to them physically, and you like how you feel around them, and everything is about roses and gifts and social outings but you don’t really care about them as a whole person, or you don’t have very much in common, then it is a shaky relationship. As soon as something difficult happens in one person’s life (such as an illness, an accident, a job loss, a death in the family) the difficulty becomes an annoyance that interferes with the enjoyment that comes from socializing. That is the superficiality of romance-only interactions. It is all about the romantic feeling and not about the human beings in the relationship.

True love is friendship caught afire. A lasting romantic relationship has a solid foundation of shared values and beliefs, and at least some shared background or common interests (such as places lived or travelled, education, hobbies, life goals and aspirations, and so on). Does the friendship come first or do the romance and friendship happen together? Who knows. Regardless, on some level, a marriage requires a husband and wife to be best friends, with all that entails, including having each others’ back and sticking together through thick and thin.

Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: (Quote) Mary-363093 said: I have several close friendships with males - si...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Quote:
Mary-363093 said:

I have several close friendships with males - single, divorced, and married. It is absolutely possible for men and women to be good friends - those are all friendships I treasure. Any of them that have a significant other in their lives - I've met them, and are now friends with them as well.

A TRUE' friend' will wish only for your happiness in an actual romantic relationship - not put the condition on it that it has to be WITH THEM. IF it's conditional - there is more going on there emotionally that needs to be addressed. Some folks can't see past a physical attraction - what a shame.




Great new picture, Mary!

I agree 100%. My life is much richer with my male friends. I hope someday, to marry my new best friend.

--hide--

Thank you so much, Kathy! wave hug How very kind of you to notice!

It was taken last night at a last-minute dinner with some CMers. I contacted a few folks already on my side of town in the early-mid afternoon, and we got together for a burger and beer (in a place we could also keep an eye on the game - priorities, you know!) No matter how big or small the crowd, and no matter how quickly thrown-together the plan - we ALWAYS have plenty of laughs when we're together.

We are a great example of male / female FRIENDSHIPS that work well for everyone. None of us are dating each other - we even talk openly about past relationships, who we're in contact with, who we're interested in, etc - and we ALL wish each other well! biggrin I enjoy gaining a 'male' perspective to some things, and the guys like our feedback as well. Win-Win.

Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Angela-374523 said: My two cents: If there is no romantic feeling or intent between a man and a woman, then i...
(Quote) Angela-374523 said:

My two cents:

If there is no romantic feeling or intent between a man and a woman, then it is just a friendship. That is possible and friendships are valuable interactions in our lives, but they are not romances.

If there is only a romantic attraction, but no friendship, then it is not a solid relationship IMHO. If you only like to be around the person because you are attracted to them physically, and you like how you feel around them, and everything is about roses and gifts and social outings but you don’t really care about them as a whole person, or you don’t have very much in common, then it is a shaky relationship. As soon as something difficult happens in one person’s life (such as an illness, an accident, a job loss, a death in the family) the difficulty becomes an annoyance that interferes with the enjoyment that comes from socializing. That is the superficiality of romance-only interactions. It is all about the romantic feeling and not about the human beings in the relationship.

True love is friendship caught afire. A lasting romantic relationship has a solid foundation of shared values and beliefs, and at least some shared background or common interests (such as places lived or travelled, education, hobbies, life goals and aspirations, and so on). Does the friendship come first or do the romance and friendship happen together? Who knows. Regardless, on some level, a marriage requires a husband and wife to be best friends, with all that entails, including having each others’ back and sticking together through thick and thin.

--hide--

WOW Angela - great post! lovestruck!

I especially like your: "True love is friendship caught afire." I've seen it happen more than once.

Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Michelle-920900 said: Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship?
(Quote) Michelle-920900 said:

Is it really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in a relationship?

--hide--



Absolutely - why would you think otherwise?

Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Angela-374523 said: True love is friendship caught afire.
(Quote) Angela-374523 said:

True love is friendship caught afire.

--hide--


Best quote ever. Friendship is about trust. And isn't marriage simply the very closest of friendships?

Jan 6th 2013 new

I have many female friends, but that is all it is - friendship ... I tend to think that if any of it was going to be something more, it would have happened very early on ... I do think that in these situations, however, that there always is an undercurrent of some tension, where one party or other would like for things to develop into something more ... So, sometimes I will shy away from getting together with such "friends" too often, because I think it sometimes prevents both parties from moving forward into a real "couple's relationship" with someone ... We all can get too comfortable in such a situation and that can work against any of us from progressing into the relationship we really want ...

Does that make any sense??? ... I know I can ramble at times!

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Richard-15378 said: I have many female friends, but that is all it is - friendship ... I tend to think that if any o...
(Quote) Richard-15378 said:

I have many female friends, but that is all it is - friendship ... I tend to think that if any of it was going to be something more, it would have happened very early on ... I do think that in these situations, however, that there always is an undercurrent of some tension, where one party or other would like for things to develop into something more ... So, sometimes I will shy away from getting together with such "friends" too often, because I think it sometimes prevents both parties from moving forward into a real "couple's relationship" with someone ... We all can get too comfortable in such a situation and that can work against any of us from progressing into the relationship we really want ...

Does that make any sense??? ... I know I can ramble at times!

--hide--


I tend to agree with you about this, but the fact that you put "friends" just makes the point again that it's pretty impossible for this to work. Question - how do you know that a relationship with one of these "friends" wouldn't yield a wonderful and lasting relationship? Perhaps you just needed the time to become friends first...maybe you should go for it!

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Dave-146273 said: I think someone else said it earlier.. men and women can be friends if basically one is d...
(Quote) Dave-146273 said:

I think someone else said it earlier.. men and women can be friends if basically one is def not attracted to the other. I was pretty good friends with a girl and would do stuff like go out to eat, movies, and even bar hopping on occasion but at the end of the night we went our own seperate ways. We just didnt have that "je ne sais quoi"

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Or maybe it's because of the respect you have for this friend that you went your separate ways at the end of the night!

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: Or maybe it's because of the respect you have for this friend that you went yo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:


Or maybe it's because of the respect you have for this friend that you went your separate ways at the end of the night!

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Kristin, true,, and respect for myself too. I wouldn't want to feel used and wouldn't anyone else to feel that way too. embarassed

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