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This room is for discussion on entertainment, movies, television, jokes or light-hearted topics. Please keep discussion clean and appropriate for a Catholic site.

Saint Vitus is the patron saint of actors, comedians, dancers, and of entertainers in general.
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Feb 23rd 2013 new
(Quote) Shara-929649 said: Bumping for a new joke.
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Bumping for a new joke.

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Yes, I am with you Shara - I am missing the jokes
Feb 27th 2013 new

OK.

Back in 1997, the Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl. Afterward, Brett Favre and Mark Chmura (both real-life Catholics) decided to celebrate by taking a trip to Europe, to include a stopover at the Vatican to meet Pope JPII.

However, upon their arrival, they discovered there was no Papal Audience going on that day. So they decided instead to host a good old Packers-style tailgate party. They managed to acquire a barbecue grill, bratwursts, hot dogs, hamburgers, potato salad, cole slaw, baked beans, and taco dip. Further, they somehow managed to get some good Wisconsin beer (Pabst Blue Ribbon, Red, White, and Blue, Old Style, Leinenkugel's, and Point).

A few hours later, they noticed the doors opening at the Papal Residence, then an entourage, then JPII himself coming out and moving toward them. As the Papal party approached the tailgate party, Chmura got scared and ran and hid behind one of the monuments. As Chmura watched, JPII approached Favre, said a few words, made the Sign of the Cross, then moved with the rest of his entourage back into the residence.

Once JPII had left, Chmura returned to the tailgate party and said to Favre, "Man, that was SO COOL; not only did the Pope not complain about our party, he even gave it his blessing."

Favre replied, "No, Mark, he didn't; he said, "You (pointing upward), pack up this grill (then pointing downward), grab that other idiot who's hiding over there (pointing to the left), and get off my property" (pointing to the right).

Feb 28th 2013 new

I love this thread!

Ok, true story. My friend's cousin was pet sitting for some friends. They had a little terrier who was very old. They were only going to be gone for a week, but after three days the dog died. The girl didn't know what to do. She didn't want to tell the owners because she thought it would ruin their vacation, but she couldn't leave the dog til they came home. She called a vet in the city who told her to bring the dog in and he would take care of it. She didn't have a car, so she looked around the house, found a small terrier-sized suitcase, put the dog inside, and got on a bus heading downtown. As she stepped off the bus, a man ran up, knocked her off her feet and stole the suitcase.

True. Story.

laughing

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Mike-41230 said: An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful...
(Quote) Mike-41230 said:

An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 12-foot grizzly bear charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path... He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?
The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?

'Very Well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Bless us oh Lord and these thy gifts which we're about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen

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The "running shoes" story has been topped ! Love it !

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Hannah-708610 said: I love this thread! Ok, true story. My friend's cousin was pet sitting for some frien...
(Quote) Hannah-708610 said:

I love this thread!

Ok, true story. My friend's cousin was pet sitting for some friends. They had a little terrier who was very old. They were only going to be gone for a week, but after three days the dog died. The girl didn't know what to do. She didn't want to tell the owners because she thought it would ruin their vacation, but she couldn't leave the dog til they came home. She called a vet in the city who told her to bring the dog in and he would take care of it. She didn't have a car, so she looked around the house, found a small terrier-sized suitcase, put the dog inside, and got on a bus heading downtown. As she stepped off the bus, a man ran up, knocked her off her feet and stole the suitcase.

True. Story.

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Wow, that's hilarious looking back, but how did she explain her way out of that when the owners returned?

Mar 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Peter-449116 said: Wow, that's hilarious looking back, but how did she explain her way out of that when the owne...
(Quote) Peter-449116 said:

Wow, that's hilarious looking back, but how did she explain her way out of that when the owners returned?

--hide--

I think she just told them what happened. She had to tell them their dog passed away and their suitcase was gone... haha! I think they probably thought it was sad and funny at the same time. I just wish I was in the room with the man after he opened the suitcase! laughing

Mar 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Mike-41230 said: A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After ...
(Quote) Mike-41230 said:

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

------------------------------------------------

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her 2nd grade class memorize Psalm 23 (actually Psalm 22 in the DRB), one of the most favorite psalms in the Bible. She gave the children a month to learn the chapter.

One little boy was excited about the task, but he just couldn't memorize the Psalm. Although he practiced and practiced, he could hardly get past the first line. The day came for the children to recite Psalm 23 before the congregation. The little boy was nervous. When his turn came, he stepped up to the microphone and proudly said, "The Lord is my Shepherd and that's all I need to know!"

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this one is too cute laughing You get a Gold Star!

Mar 19th 2013 new
Oilfield Joke: Oil and Gas Operator Seeks Advice The oil and gas operator was in a big financial trouble... He had bought and contracted several thousand acres of minerals thinking that the area was the next big play, and instead, it was a bust. It was so bad he was even contemplating becoming a roughneck again.

As a last resort, he went to see a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do... Put a beach chair and a Bible in your car and drive up in the mountains to the lake. Take the chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible... The wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer... That will tell you what to do."

A year later the oil and gas operator was back to see the priest. The operator was driving a new Lincoln and wearing a pair of high-dollar boots and an expensive felt hat. The operator pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket and gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for the advice.

The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious.

"You did as I suggested?" he asked.

“Absolutely," replied the oil and gas operator.

You went to the lake?"

"Absolutely."

"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible on your
lap?"

"Absolutely."

"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"

"Absolutely."

"And what were the first words you saw?"

"Chapter 11."

Mar 20th 2013 new
A Boudreaux Joke:

Budreaux went out one night to that Cowboy Rodeo place in Lafayette. He had just a little too much to drink again. As he staggered home, he put his empty bottles in his back pockets. Walking up the steps to his house, he trips and falls down, breaking the bottles, and cutting himself pretty bad in the derriere.

He gets inside, and looking at his rear end in the mirror, proceeds to put some Band-aids on all the cuts. The next morning, his lovely wife, Marie, says, "Well, Boudreaux, I see you came home drunk again last night!" Boudreaux says, "Marie cher, what makes you tink dat?"

Marie says, "Mais, 'cause you put Band-aids all over da mirror again!!"
Mar 20th 2013 new

laughing laughing laughing laughing

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