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This room is for discussion on entertainment, movies, television, jokes or light-hearted topics. Please keep discussion clean and appropriate for a Catholic site.

Saint Vitus is the patron saint of actors, comedians, dancers, and of entertainers in general.
Learn More:Saint Vitus

Jan 21st 2013 new

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

--------------------------------

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

--------------------------------

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Jan 22nd 2013 new

An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 12-foot grizzly bear charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path... He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?
The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?

'Very Well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Bless us oh Lord and these thy gifts which we're about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen

Jan 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Bart-749635 said: Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into a dam. Police think it might be the start ofRam-a-da...
(Quote) Bart-749635 said:

Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into a dam. Police think it might be the start of
Ram-a-dam.

--hide--

laughing laughing laughing faint

Jan 26th 2013 new
This is a great thread ...... Why did Ten look frightened? ....................because 789
Jan 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Raquel-684836 said: This is a great thread ...... Why did Ten look frightened? ....................because 789
(Quote) Raquel-684836 said: This is a great thread ...... Why did Ten look frightened? ....................because 789
--hide--


thumbsup thumbsup

Jan 26th 2013 new

I was in Ft. Myers, Florida the other day and saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, "I miss Chicago." So I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires and left a note that read, "I hope this helps!"

Jan 26th 2013 new

Saw this on a Popsicle stick.


What has a bottom at the top?

A leg.

Jan 26th 2013 new

More groaners

1. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

2. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

3. Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.

4. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

5. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

6. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

7. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

8. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

9. When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

10. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

11. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

12. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

13. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

14. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

15. My desire to be a dermatologist was only skin deep. I knew I was destined for osteology. I could feel it in my bones.

16. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

17. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

18. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Mike-41230 said: More groaners1. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a l...
(Quote) Mike-41230 said:

More groaners

1. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

2. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

3. Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.

4. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

5. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

6. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

7. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

8. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

9. When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

10. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

11. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

12. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

13. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

14. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

15. My desire to be a dermatologist was only skin deep. I knew I was destined for osteology. I could feel it in my bones.

16. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

17. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

18. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

--hide--



Good stuff!! I can't match you but I got one more......

What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly.

Jan 29th 2013 new

A rather liberal teacher discovered one of her eight year old students was pro-life. The teacher was a tad put out, but figured she could trap the child and convince her pro-choice was the way to go:

"Why are you pro-life?"

The teacher asked.

"Because my parents are".

The kid replied.

"So what if your parents were stupid?"

"Then I'd be pro-choice".

Posts 81 - 90 of 115