(Quote) Andrea-850967 said:
… that you do not allow him and his girlfriend to spend the night together, neither in th...
(Quote) Andrea-850967 said:
… that you do not allow him and his girlfriend to spend the night together, neither in the girl’s parents’ home nor our own. They promised each other to keep for one another, but they like to stay together over night … “nothing will happen, mom…” they say. Next month they are together one year.
So my question is: how do you explain that in a way without lifting the moral finger and that they understand it well.
I really will appreciate your view on that. Thanks and a blessed year 2013 for you!
I think it is so great that you not only want to uphold the moral values of the Catholic church in your house but also want to give your son the WHY. I will never forget my mother telling me "Because I'm the parent and your the child"... well... sorry mom... but this isn't good enough. I am a person that needs the why! I'll do what you say... and follow your rules when I'm under your roof... but why insult me by not giving me the why?!?!
I hope that this will help in your explaination: Crystalina Evert (Jason Evert's wife. The man who wrote one of the most famous commentaries of Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body) states in the video I've posted below: "Theology of the Body gives us the reasons behind the rules. It shows us that we don't have ignore my desires or your desires for love. On the contrary, it leads us to the truth and clarity instead of confusion."
Also in this video you can find Mary Beth Bonacci who says "Sexual activity among young people is driven by a hunger for love. And reciting rules doesn't help. It doesn't touch them." Although Andrea you may have raised an excellent son who will follow any rule that you place upon him... if you're looking to really open the door for God to change his heart... the research shows that you will have to touch him in a different way than by just laying down the law. (I'm not saying that the law shouldn't be laid down!!! Don't get me wrong! But I think there is something to the fact that you want your son to know the reason WHY).
Even if you don't show your son this video... it can be a good starting point for your discussion with him. It might help even if you research TOB for Teens ... it can give you some pointers or ways to explain the importance not only of physical chastity, but also EMOTIONAL chastity which is often forgotten. If you follow the link above, you can also find more Theology of the Body links to the right... some of these may also help you in your explaination.
I hope this helps! I will be praying for your conversation and hope that your son's heart will be open to God's will in his life!