This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.
Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Andrea: I feel your pain - I've raised five. I really, really like the idea of the baby doll and diapers. Sometimes approaching them completely different than they would think can really work. A sense of humor is not all bad, and neither is the moral finger. You are #1 the parent first!!! Too many parents forget that. But keeping the lines of communication open are just as important with our kids, as much as it is in our marriage. I also like the temptation route. I was thinking of a poster I have in my classroom: LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION - I CAN FIND IT JUST FINE ON MY OWN!!! lol maybe this could be the icebreaker somehow in your discussion. I'm thinking I would even try sitting down with both of them and approaching it as (someday you will be the parent) what would you say to this situation to your child. Put the ball in their court, and see if they can bat it. PS: My 19 year old daughter just came home, I asked her what she would tell them, she thought, smiled and said: fine, go ahead, as long as I'm sleeping on the floor next to you (meaning you mom)! I laughed sooooo hard. PSS: The thing is they will head off to college soon and the dorms are full of, well you know....Talk a lot now - so they have some tools to use when they are open to it all! 18 an adult??????? I know I wasn't - some never are! There is a new catechism of the Catholic church for our youth (in case you're not aware) of it. It's called "YOUCAT". It deals with youth relationships, I'm sure it would help you, I'm not sure about them? I'm remembering another favorite saying: First we give our children Roots, then we give them Wings. Pray to our Blessed Mother for the help to give a great explanation, and for them to truly understand with open minds and hearts. GRACE with STRENGTH - it's the best kind!
Ezrah: How come you are way up in Canada. All the good ones are in Canada! LOL I have a 19 year old college (cath.) daughter I'd like to have you meet. Oh, well, to far I suppose. I do like your answers, it seems that you are a fine young man - keep up the good work!!!
Thank you for your wonderful big compliment Ms. Barb ! I'm in because my family decided to live here . The majority of the gals I've conversed with on this site are from . There are very few Canadian girls in my age group from this dating site. I'm always open to friendly conversations including your daughter . The cool part about the gals I've chatted with on this site is how we can relate to many subjects.
Go to Toys R Us and buy one of those baby dolls that cries alot. Then get some inexpensive pampers. Put them on his bed and ask him if he knows what that is. If he looks at you quizzically, let him know that he's going to need to practice if he's adult enough, mature enough, ready for a life commitment with the girl, and ready for the possibility of being a daddy - right now, today.
That will make an impression.
Then, get him to a Theology of the Body class or get the workbook for teens ASAP.
Good luck and God's speed!
I think I don't need to do that, but great idea!
My son participated last year a 3 day course TOB and he was fascinated!! He even told me to buy that book, but I already had it quite q while.
LOL! I would like to add that going to public places where there are babies crying with your teenage child will for sure give them a reality shock .
Hey Ezrah, imagine: he even did a babysitter course - that was 2 years back, for a babysitter job ....
I'd just explain to them that it is unacceptable and inappropriate. And, despite their best intentions, one doesn't place themselves in compromising positions. Might also pull out the tricycle example :-) there are certain things we must wait for in life. We don't buy a tricycle for an infant, or a bicycle for a two year old or a car for a ten year old. Likewise, certain things are reserved the right time in life and one of those is the intimacy of unrestricted time together like spending the night with each other regardless of whether or not something happens or not. That is an intimacy that should be reserved for marriage. Gives you something to look forward to.
They way it was explained to me:
First: It doesn't matter if aything happens, what matters is that it gives the wrong impression to others, who may think something is happening! You damage your reputation among some, and among the others you lead them to think "if this reputable person is doing it, it must be okay"
Second: They are close to college, if they want to sleep over, they canc ertainly wait a little longer to do it under their own (or college) roof.
Third: As my parents always said: "If you get into trouble, it's your own fault." Make it sound like you understand they are responsible and mature, but you don't want to be to blame for anything that happens under your roof. My parents were very lenient with me, I would usually leave the house at 11pm on a school night to go stay with my boyfriend at his apartment, and they would say: "Keep your pants on, and get to school on time." - it's a miracle we never did anything <.<
When I want to teach my confirmation students about some of those issues I use the our father. At the end it says (lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...). I tell them God is always protecting us, but we need to protect ourselves. If I go walking at midnight in a dangerous area or neighborhood and something bad happens to me, it is my fault. I made that decision. If they sleep in the same bed temptation might win and the only 100% accurate birth control is abstinence, so 9 months later, they might be surprise. It is a consequence of their actions. You are his mother and you want the best for him, he would like to go to college and do all this wonderful things in life. If he has a baby at this age, he won't be able to do those things.
You are so right: it is the temptations which often wins, especially when one want's to live chaste. Temptations are put as sweet, good and harmless and one thinks one can handle the situations when they arise.