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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-730470 said: I respond to all emotigrams and messages. I have decided not to iniate contact because on...
(Quote) Kathy-730470 said:

I respond to all emotigrams and messages. I have decided not to iniate contact because once I sent an emotigram and just said hello and he blocked me. I felt soooo bad I decided not to do that again so now I only respond to emotigrams or messages sent to me.

--hide--


I won't begin to tell you how many times that happened to me when I used to send birthday emotes. laughing


The way I see it, it takes just as much effort and just as many clicks of the mouse to block someone than it would have taken to send a "thank you" emote. In fact, saying "thank you" takes fewer mouse clicks. If they were that willing to put forth that extra effort to block communications rather than show enough manners to simply say "thank you" then they did me a favor by blocking me. At least the inability to communicate with them in the future will spare ME from wasting my time in the event that I should ever consider contacting that person again in the future.


theheart

Jan 6th 2013 new

The picture gets my attention first. Not necessarily the profile pic, but if I see a scrapbook pic on my homepage, I'll open it and read the profile. If I like what I read (preferably someone down to earth, no unrealistic expectations, faithful and a non-smoker/non-drinker) I'll take their interview if available. If not, I may just send a note that I appreciated the picture or something in their profile. I hesitate to make the first move, but do respond to messages. More than one emote without a message though, is a turn-off. Most men will view my profile after I've viewed theirs. I leave it up to them to communicate if they are interested. I know my profile needs work. A lot of what I enjoy is hidden in the interview and rarely does anyone take that. I think us ladies like answering interviews more then the men.

Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-730470 said: I respond to all emotigrams and messages. I have decided not to iniate contact because once I sen...
(Quote) Kathy-730470 said:

I respond to all emotigrams and messages. I have decided not to iniate contact because once I sent an emotigram and just said hello and he blocked me. I felt soooo bad I decided not to do that again so now I only respond to emotigrams or messages sent to me.

--hide--

Oh my!!!!! That is terribly rude and mean. I think that I would have been so hurt by that and begin to question my worth. However, don't fall into that trap. It is his loss and your gain as someone who would do that is not good husband material in my opinion. That is a red flag. I do not think that many of the guys on CM would treat you that way. FYI. You are very beautiful, accomplished and virtuous and any sane guy would be proud to have you pay attention to them. Don't deny the others a chance because of one bad apple. biggrin

Jan 6th 2013 new

In order of contact or not contact:
1. 7 out of 7 in the question of faith
2. Marital status - not working on an annullment is a big no no for me. I'll wait thank you.
3. Educational background - I worked my butt off getting a degree and I'd like someone who understands that and doesn't believe that Graduate Degree = smarty pants, butt = hard work, (pun intended).
4. The picture - does it look genuine, or does it look like someone else put your profile online without your knowledge.

Jan 6th 2013 new
I'm looking for details-- the more, the merrier. Vague profiles that don't explain where a lady wants to go in life and how she expects to get there cause me to shed another tear and move along. A pretty face might get me to look at the profile but, all by itself, it won't get me to send a note. I look for ladies within driving distance because I expect to date a lady and spend lots of time with her in person before I marry her.

More specifically, obviously, 7/7 is a necessity. Other than that, no TV is very important to me because it has become the voice of the enemy. ("The beast was given a voice." Revelation 13:5) Apart from that, I need to see favorable mention of homeschooling and at least some reference to feminine dressing, which to me means long dresses or skirts and not jeans or sneakers. A few pictures of the lady wearing a pretty dress or skirt will help lots. Pictures of girls in jeans and sneakers are heartbreaking deal-killers. If I don't see what I am trying to find in a profile, I will almost certainly not be motivated to write. As for age, I've given up on those in their twenties and early thirties because of the consistent negative remarks about older gentlemen writing to women young enough to be their daughters. Such ladies will need to make an explicit reference in their profiles stating that older gentlemen are welcome if they want me to write.
Jan 6th 2013 new

That central box on the top of the page is the first thing I look at, particularly how she answers the faith questions and age, finally I will look at the About Me and Ideal Match sections. If those catch my eye, I will look at the rest of the profile and see how everything else matches up. I also look at the rest of the pictures.

In the main About Me section, I look particularly for someone who appears to really know herself and what she wants to do in life. She doesn't necessarily need to have everything figured out (there are few of us that do, I think), but I am much more likely to contact someone who has definite goals and aspirations. Someone who recognizes she is human, yet continually strives to draw closer to God. A strong faith is important, and I also look for someone that I believe will be able to walk with me as a partner, but also challenge me to grow. My hope is that my profile reflects these same requirements that I look for in others...

Location doesn't really matter to me. Of course local would be easier, but then again, the Lord never said this whole business of life would be easy, did He? :) I also like it if she has an interview and has taken the temperment test. That shows someone who is serious. I will say that while some commonalities are important, a different temperment or varying tastes aren't deal-breakers for me. In fact, that can even make a person that much more interesting to me! Is that strange?

Red flags - little information, very generic answers, responses that seem incongruous with either the rest of the profile or forum posts, or terrible grammar or spelling. The last one, however, I am willing to pass over because I know there are those out there that have English as a second language.


Pax,

Dean


PS: I'm just being honest - most guys are very visual. While this is not always the case, there are times when I click on a profile due to a picture. As I have personally found since changing my profile picture, it makes a difference!



Jan 6th 2013 new


PS: I'm just being honest - most guys are very visual. While this is not always the case, there are times when I click on a profile due to a picture. As I have personally found since changing my profile picture, it makes a difference!

[/quote]

That's not just a "guy" thing, Dean. I do that, too, to be honest. I'm sure a lot of women do. I think one's pictures tell a lot about that person.For example, if his profile pic changes, I know he is active on CM. Outdoor pics, dog pics, friend pics, etc all tell a story beyond the profile text.

smile

Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Susie-550311 said: PS: I'm just being honest - most guys are very visual. While this is not always the case,...
(Quote) Susie-550311 said:


PS: I'm just being honest - most guys are very visual. While this is not always the case, there are times when I click on a profile due to a picture. As I have personally found since changing my profile picture, it makes a difference!

[/quote]

That's not just a "guy" thing, Dean. I do that, too, to be honest. I'm sure a lot of women do. I think one's pictures tell a lot about that person.For example, if his profile pic changes, I know he is active on CM. Outdoor pics, dog pics, friend pics, etc all tell a story beyond the profile text.

--hide--


Oh good. I'm not a complete goofball. smile


I agree with you as far as the pics - I love to see interesting people, places, and things!

Jan 6th 2013 new

... What causes you to decide against contacting a person? Are there red flags that tell you to move on? Perhaps answers will help us improve our profiles!

[/quote]

Just a quick one here. Sure reasons for me NOT to contact are definitely when:

- men who are just "fun loving and easy going" followed by an endless list of all the activities they do

- when I can't read anything about their faith

- a profil pic which horrifies me and gives me the creeps just looking at it

and when I read that they are not ready for LDR and just looking for someone near.

Jan 6th 2013 new

I usually start by searching for men in my area (although I'm not opposed to long-distance relationships!)

Then, I see if they've answered 7/7 faith questions (that's a MUST for m). I check out their education (I agree with the woman who posted about a graduate school education - it's hard work!), their "Ideal Match" section and lastly their food interests (I'm a sushi lover, so it's nice to know if he'd be one, too!). After this initial skim, I read through their whole profile, from beginning to end. I then look at their photos - and article I read recently said that between 7-10 photos is the standard for online dating, and it helps to have all sorts of situations represented in said photos (profile shot, social situations, activities, etc.).


I'm glad this was question was posted. I often send emotigrams to men who meet what I'm looking for, and I don't always hear a response. It's because of this "hmm" and "I wonder what's up?" that I always respond, one way or another, to a man who initiates contact with me. I'm hopeful that in this sense, we're all mature adults :) laughing

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