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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Mar 4th 2013 new

I know how you feel. I was 36 when my wife died.

You know, sometimes I get the idea that people are looking for reasons not to date. All men want is sex, don't you know. So, why would a good Catholic woman want to date a man? All Catholic women want to go to Church and pray all the time. Why would a man ever want to go out with a Catholic woman?

Bunch of smelly stuff. Bet I cannot use the correct noun here.

Well, I am a little crazy, so here is something to think about. Ladies, I know how to be a good husband. I had a good wife that trained me very well. I also do toilets. If you were a good wife then you fit with a good husband, right? You know stuff about marriage that so many people don't know about. You did it and were successful. So, stop trying so hard not to be married. When you get the chance to chat, chat. When you get the chance to talk, talk. When you get the chance to be kissed, kiss. We all did this thing called marriage once. We know how. Not the end of the world to chat, talk to or kiss the wrong guy.

Your future spouse will never replace your past one, never be as good at somethings, maybe be almost as good at others. So what. It is easy to talk. Where might talking go? We all need to see our past spouse in the people we go out with, in that we see someone that God wants us to be kind to and be nice. I swear, can you say that?, I go out with women who say they don't like me for some silly reason. That is ok, really it is. But have they looked in a mirror in the last 20 years, or so? And I am not talking about looks either.

I think this site should have a new thing to get you kicked off. If you never email anybody then poof, your gone.

So, here is a proposal to everybody. Email me. Chat with a guy. Get to know me. I'll get to know you. Not hard. No expectations, practice. I am a friendly guy. I don't bite. You'll find out how easy it is. Then, as you discover you can do it with me, you'll find you can do it with anybody. Start expecting success. So what if you are in Maine and I am in Arizona. I got the nice weather, now. Don't think I am going to invite to for dinner. Maybe we could facetime at dinner. I could watch you eat, you could watch me. Hope it never comes to that. And I might offer you an all expense paid trip to someplace, someday. But don't think about that now. Just think about getting out there.

I had a female relative that lost her hubby. She lived in Washington DC. I went there and we went out for dinner. We had a wonderful time. If it would have been a date, there would have been another one. She commented on that, how she had a wonderful evening. Why did she have a wonderful evening? Well, we were both relaxed. No pressure, no expectations. No kissing, holding hands or stupid lies about how handsome I am.

Oh, by the way, doesn't have to be me, could be anybody. But start.


Mar 5th 2013 new

Larry, very good points! food for thought......

Mar 6th 2013 new

What a breath of fresh air for me! I was 49 when I was widowed, I'm 53 now and I have a hard time articulating for myself what has been said in the previous posts..As far as fitting in, I'm really not sure I want to.

I know what it takes to be married, in sickness and in health, and unfortunatey, for the last 5 years of my husband's life, it was in sickness trying to hold everything together.

So, enough whining. It took some time to get use to doing things by myself, ie, plumbing, getting on the roof and blowing off leaves, trying to teach my daughter to drive (never again) and using power tools.

I like to think that I'm currently being reinvented by God and now trying to do things I couldn't do by myself before.

I know that I have arrived to that place when I can go get dressed up and go to a fancy resturant by myself, but until that time...

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